Pregnant guest due the day before our wedding

I had this happen to me. A couple RSVPed yes as their daughter was due two weeks after the wedding. Guess what?! Life happens. Did I lose money ? Yes, but that wasnt was important to me. Am I going to be mad at her for going into labor too close to my wedding!? Heck no.

@Zoni I actually never said anything about dis-inviting her...I would never, ever do that. We have plenty of other friends with children and pregnant friends. Children are welcome at our wedding because most of these friends are from OOT and a babysitter isn't an easy option - plus kids at the wedding are fun. The issue is them disagreeing on the RSVP. I'm totally fine if they come. I'm not going to tell her NOT to come because her child may-or-may not decide to show up before/at/after our wedding. I couldn't dream of disinviting anyone EVER.

@DMN the money is NOT more important than our friends. I would by far prefer for them to be there AND for them to have a great time. However, we are paying for the majority of our wedding and FH has a lot of medical bills that came up unexpectedly halfway into wedding planning, so the wasted money is an issue because we don't have money to waste. The (main) issue is that they are saying two different things. They would have been invited even if I found out earlier that her due date was the day before.

I'm not going to be mad at her for going into labor close to my wedding. I wouldn't even be mad if she went into labor AT my wedding. But I do need to know what to tell my vendor, which is apparently something that other people have dealt with before.

I totally get what you're saying. It's the mixed message that's throwing you off, right? And you don't want to count someone in when half of that couple is telling you it's a no?

I'd definitely check with your caterer, but your safest bet is to just count them in and hope it works out.

Ahh. Okay, sorry. I misunderstood! Though, I hope you won't mind me saying that as interesting as it would be, I'm kind of hoping that wedding babies don't replace the already awful trend of reception proposals, for both your sakes.

I'd actually call the vendor and explain the situation. They can probably give you options!

We have a friend due a week after our wedding too, so thanks to everyone for the advice! We're probably gonna count them as a "no" for numbers purposes, but make sure we've got some extra room at a table where they know people in case they do end up coming - I'm sure there will be at least a couple of "yes" people that end up cancelling last minute, so I'm hoping it all balances out Also I think caterers generally know to make an extra couple servings in case these things happen.

@Lady O - yeah. Pretty much.

Also totally I admit that right now I say I'd be upset over the loss of money (again, totally funded by us and I'm just in that last crunch where thinking about money raises my blood pressure) but after I'd probably be so happy for them - and they wouldn't be the only ones who don't show up anyways - that I would forget. Plus I'd be married and happy.

@Zoni No worries! It happens on the internet sometimes. and ha! The mom-to-be and I talked about this and how if she went into labor it would be, um..interesting... My actual main concern is if they attended and that happened at the ceremony, because it's a good bit out from civilization and more than 30 minutes from the hospital she is planning to deliver at. Good thing we'll have several nurses and a doctor at both the ceremony/reception, I guess?

At our wedding, one guest got sick while driving the 2-3 miles from home. She turned around and went home. But, she was offset by the uninvited plus one of a guest. So, it all equaled out.

I'd say wait until you have to give the final count to your caterer. Leave them off if you are not POSITIVE they'll be there. If they show up they can have the meals/seats of 2 people who said yes, but didn't show up.

We have a similar situation. My dad's best friends daughter is due ON our wedding date, so if she delivers right before, or the day of, of course her parents won't be at our wedding. The couple was unsure how to RSVP, since they realize they would love to come - unless they can't. And there is a real possibility they won't be able to at the last moment.

We counted them as a yes. They RSVPed Yes. They intend to come, unless they are unable to, barring quasi foreseeable circumstances.

Any guest may have a last minute issue, tragedy, or accident and not make it to our wedding. At least they will have a good reason!

If we pay for a dinner they don't eat, meh. If they come, I would love to have them there - that's why they were included in our very small guest list to begin with.

I haven't read the other comments...my advice is to not count them. Your caterer/venue will be able to scramble if you have one or two more than your actual head count and there are always no-shows so don't pay for more than you need to.

Don't count them.

I went a week overdue with my daughter and she only came then because I was induced. I felt great right up to the end. I worked, socialized, ran errands, etc. I wouldn't count them out.

Honestly, I feel like no matter what you're going to have people who RSVP yes and then don't show. It happens at every wedding. I don't really think that their argument over whether or not to go is any of your business to get involved in. I would count them as they RSVP'd and if they don't show then they don't show.

FH's Sister-in-law is due 3 days before our wedding!! I told her "I love you and if you don't come, I totally understand. BUT FH's brother ABSOLUTELY has to come!"

That may come of bitchy but FH lost both of his parents and has zero other relatives (except some cousins in England) sooooooooo whoops.

Well I paid for 2 seats for people that I weren't sure if they were going to make it or not (situations out of their or my control) - but I would have felt bad if they would have shown and I didn't have a place for them to sit or had counted them in how much food for the cater to prepare. On top of that - I had 3 family members who left after the ceremony because they were mad at me - so I paid for 5 seats that weren't taken. You will have people RSVP yes and then not be able to come last minute.

ETA: We also had a couple that was due 2 days after our wedding. They RSVP'd yes, and we counted them. They came and she gave birth a week later. We did know that they might go into labor sooner though and that them not coming was a possibility. I totally understand your frustration on their mixed messages and believe me - we paid for pretty much everything ourselves as well so money wasn't exactly a free for all.

@Kinsey you expect his brother to come even if his wife is giving birth at the time?? Or am I misreading what you said?

No offence, but if I was preggers and unable to make it because I was in the process of having a baby (or I had literally just delivered one), I can assure you FH would not be there either lol.

@FutureMrsPej - No way! I did say that to her, but I was laying the sarcasm on pretty thick when I said it. If she is giving birth, obviously he needs to be with her. BUT if she schedules her C-Section early that week (which she is hoping for) and everything goes smoothly that he will make it. Her mom will be in town the entire week to help her so they think it is realistic he will be able to make it.

It will be pretty devastating though if he cant make it since he is a GM and due to his family situation...

ETA: KEY WORD: Sarcasm.

I think she means that if the wife is too uncomfortable to go, she expects the husband to attend anyway. which.....while I understand her sentiment, I do find pretty bitchy. Baby >>> wedding

That is so odd! I can't imagine wanting to commit to any kind of social event within a 1 week before or after my due date! I would be just as mystified in your position, OP. And it is totally weird that the couple disagrees about it

I wonder if your friend is just kind of thinking she'll fit in as much as she possibly can (socially) before she has her baby, without really thinking about the practicalities. She may change her mind about the reply before the end of the month...

What @FutureMrs.Pej said -- Kinsey, is your SIL local? If she's within driving distance, her husband could probably drive to you from the hospital (assuming the baby's born)...but if you're expecting him to travel by plane within a few days of his child's birth, leaving his wife behind? Um...no.

@Kinsey just saw your other comment -- that's a relief. I'm glad to hear you're normal lol

I do hope it works out! It would be really sad not to have any of FH's family there

FutureMrsT - they are 5 minutes away from our venue. Our wedding is on a Friday so if they weren't able to come, I am sure we would see them the next day and maybe bring some wedding cake for them!

ETA: "I'm glad to hear you're normal" made me LOL hard - first time I have ever heard that