Plus ones in the bridal party

I would give them a plus one regardless. They're putting in money, time, and effort for you. It's a small thing to show your gratitude.

I very well could be wrong, but if you give a plus one without naming the person, they can invite whomever they want. I also believe your bridal party should definitely have a plus one.

I think you have to have a definite cut off. Ours is "anyone over 18" gets a plus one. Yours could be "anyone dating someone at the time invitations go out" gets a plus one. That gets tricky if you aren't aware of a new relationship, that's one reason some people limit it more, such as only engaged or married couples.

Also: I hope you are including all those in relationships. There are several couples invited to my wedding that aren't living together/married/or engaged, but some have been together for a few years. I think plus ones should be all relationships, no matter the time frame or living situation.

I think all the wedding party members should have a plus one. You might also re-think your guest list and/or budget if 4 extra people are going to bust your budget.

BP should always have a plus one. Now with my wedding it's going to be very small and intimate, inviting 50 max. I wouldn't appreciate a member of my BP bringing a random friend when they know that I'm trying to keep it intimate and I've already had to say no to a lot of friends. Then again none of them would do that so it's not really an issue. Now if I was having a party of like 250 I would be far less picky about them bringing just some random friend. Does that make sense?

It was uber important to us that everyone there be people we love and who love us. That's why we chose to have a 35 person wedding. It was very intimate and small. Because of that we did not give +1s to anyone really. We invited couples as couples, but if we didn't know the persons name clearly they didn't need to be on our guest list. If you are having a small wedding then in my book that changes things a bit vs if you are having a 200 person wedding. If inviting a +1 for someone means a friend of yours can't come and that person knows enough people to be comfortable without a guest then I see no reason to do that. But if, say, they only know you two and the other BP members from hanging out a few times then I could see where having someone there could make them feel better. Look at your guest list, think about the situation, then figure out what works best.

We only included SOs, not plus ones (bo cut-off for relationship though- it's not your place to judge the "seriousness" of a relationship). No one in our bridal party didn't know people at the wedding. No randos allowed at our wedding!

Bridal party members get a plus 1.

Anyone in a relationship, regardless of length/living situation/etc has their SO invited by name. This is not a plus one.

A plus one is when you offer a truly single guest the opportunity to bring a guest of their choice. If you offer a plus one, you get no say in who it is. It can be a friend, sibling, parent, first date off match.com. You don't get to set parameters.

You don't HAVE to give anyone a plus one, but, a lot of people believe all wedding party members get a plus one. Same for guests travelling a long distance or who won't know anyone else in attendance.

Not that this helps your dilemma, but my two MOH are both married & both have said they are not bringing their spouses because they know we are trying to keep it small & have a limited budget. We are not inviting +1s, if someone is dating/in a relationship, then both people are invited by name (whether we have met that other person or not). We don't have a large enough budget to include spouses/partners for everyone that was originally on the list, so I made major cuts (my co-workers).

I am applying the same rule to my bridal party that I am to my guests. If they are dating someone when invitations go out, they will be invited by name. If not, it's just them. I don't have anybody with plus ones.

Most of them have told me anyway that even if they started dating someone shortly before the wedding they might not bring them, since they won't know anyone and they will be busy during the day.

The only person in my bridal party who is dating someone currently is my sister.

It's perfectly acceptable to not allow ANY plus ones (as in, some completely random person that a guest wants to bring along to not be alone), but everyone in a relationship, no matter the amount of time, should have their significant other there if they want them. It's not up to you to judge the seriousness of their relationships, so only couples living together/engaged/married is not okay. There are people who have been together for years and still don't live together.

The decent thing to do however, is to allow all of your bridal party to have plus ones since they are investing their time, money, and energy to be there and support you. It's not required, but it's a nice gesture.

For sure your BP should get the plus one. They are doing so much for you and spending money. I'm on the side of also inviting anyone in a relationship. I know even before I was engaged, I felt like if my SO wasn't invited that they really didn't want me there either because he was/is such a huge part of my life. I agree with Lucy - it isn't up to you to judge their relationship. I guess if I was getting invited before we were engaged and he wasn't, I would just prefer neither of us be invited.

So here's the official etiquette:

ALL couples in relationships have to be invited because they're a social unit, even if they aren't engaged or even if you don't know one of them. These people are not plus ones. They are guests. The term plus one only applies to people whose identity you don't know at time of invites (i.e. your bridesmaid isn't in a relationship with anyone right now, but you allow her to bring a "plus one" to your wedding, which could be someone she asks out on a date or just a friend).

After that, no one is required to have a plus one, but it's a nice gesture to allow your bridal party to have one. By the same token, if you give them a plus one, you can't dictate who the plus one is. If they choose to bring a random friend, then they get to bring a random friend.

Example of the above:

Example 1: Jack and Jill have been dating for three months at the time invites go out. You've never met Jill but Jack is on the guest list. You have to invite Jill, per rules of etiquette. You invite her by name (invite reads Jack Smith and Jill Wilson). She is NOT a plus one. She is an invited guest who will accompany Jack.

Example 2: Jill is single and not in a relationship. She gets an invite and because she's a bridesmaid, you give her a plus one (invite reads Jill Wilson and inside, it gives her an option for a plus one on the RSVP card). While she isn't in a relationship with anyone, she has a co-worker she thinks is cute. She asks him to be her date to your wedding. He is a plus one because he wasn't personally invited by you, but was invited by Jill because you gave Jill the option of bringing someone.

We aren't allowing plus ones for non married guest. This is ONLY because we have hugeeee families and a super tight budget. Since most will be family no one would be alone. The wedding party understands... they are just excited to see us get married and we are blessed to have them :-)

BP should always have a Plus1 even if they don't bring someone. You should always make that an option for them.

I didn't want random people so we didn't do blanket plus 1's, but we have two single people in our wedding party whom we will be giving them to out of courtesy for how much they have done/will do for us.

I also agree that the bridal party should have plus ones. I have two very single BM but I want them to have as much fun as possible and so they are welcome to bring a date, a friend, a parent, really whoever they'd like. I love these girls and they're my best friends... I wouldn't want them to feel bad for not being in a long term relationship with someone by the time my wedding rolls around.

My Bridal party was the opposite, theys aid they didnt need one. so that worked out good for me. What I did for the other handful of single guests, was to tell them that if they are dating someone at the time to please contact me so we can accomadate them. This way they arent bringing randoms (which i was worried about becaue i have severe anxiety), but still have the option to bring someone if they end up in a relationship prior to the wedding. Just a thought.

ETA: And I am not making any restriction based on the length of their relationship. If they are dating someone or have a date in mind. They are welcome to bring them as long as they notify be prior to RSVP deadline.