Planning in Medical School?

My sister had a tiny ceremony (15 people) during the fall of her M2 year, which didn't require much planning. Then she had two receptions in the spring/summer. Their parents planned it all so she could focus on her studies. It sounds like you want a more traditional wedding that you plan yourself, but that was her experience.

I actually think a year would be ok i personally had my wedding planned in a little less than a year or so. the ONLY thing about that though is you'd probably need to start immediately.

My fiancé and I got engaged our 3L year of law school. Our original plan was to have a 1.5-2 year engagement where we'd plan some of the bigger things (date, venue) while we were still in school, do super minimal planning while we studied for/ took the bar exam and looked for long-term jobs, and then when we got our results and were working "real jobs" we'd have a better picture of our incomes/ budget and about a year to plan. Cue Covid postponement, and we're now looking at an almost 3 year engagement.

The long engagement really hasn't had many drawbacks other than maybe an off comment about the long engagement itself, but if you have an explanation then it usually gets dropped. A lot of the judgement we got was because we pushed the date due to Covid, but there's no way to please everyone on that front, and this was how we chose to handle it. The nice thing has been that we were able to save up more money, which was a HUGE help with the financial stress. Having more time to plan was also nice because I could take more time to think about what I really liked vs what someone told me they liked or whatever was trending, I could think about the little details more, and I didn't feel like there was a time crunch to get everything done.

If you do go with the long engagement route, I'd recommend at least doing your engagement pictures soon while it's still new and exciting. And if you run into vendors that you really like but they don't book until closer to the event, set calendar reminders to reach out when that window opens so you can lock them down.

We have been engaged for 13 years! Lol 😂 I think to each it’s own but due to both of our careers, finances, preferences, it was just never a priority until now. There is no rule book (unless you consider the Bible) that says you need to be married to live your lives together as such and I promise it’s not completely terrible. Plus, when you have that stability and calm in every other aspect of your life it really helps tremendously when it comes time to plan a wedding. You have a ring and intentions… I say don’t rush, focus on school and your careers, grow together, and when the time is right I promise everyone will be thrilled that it’s finally happening!

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Congratulations to your sister!

My parents and my sister are gracious enough to have offered to plan part of our multicultural ceremony, but my fiancé and I are planning the Western ceremony + reception ourselves. We do want a pretty traditional Western ceremony + reception and will likely have a bit of a large guest list so it'll probably be a more involved process haha. Thanks for sharing!

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Thank you, this engagement picture advice is wonderful and I hadn't thought of that before! Calendar reminders make a lot of sense, too. And you're definitely right about not worrying about judgmental comments – I'm sure if I just say, "Med school!" and nothing else, people would understand immediately. (Even if they still felt the urge to pressure us to shorten the timeline, I'm sure they wouldn't be the type of people who we would want to invite, anyway.)

I guess my only real concern with a long engagement is that – particularly on my side of the family – we have a lot of very elderly relatives, some of whom are not in particularly great health, and you just never know what'll happen in 2-3 years. My parents have talked about hosting an engagement dinner soon for just our immediate families, so maybe I'll ask them to plan to include our great-aunts and great-uncles, as well, so they can at least partake in those this year.

Thank you for sharing your experience!

Hi how about go an elope and then then you are post Step and then you guys can have your wedding. Because i thought going to medical school and giving enough of time to breathe and have some fun planning because now your mind is tied up in to your studies craming for midterms. Is that workable

Hi! I’d recommend you focus on step 1 and M3. The final weeks leading up to the wedding are full of distractions, vendor calls and people changing their RSVP. You don’t need that distraction before step 1. You could always plan most of your wedding now, then have the wedding 4 weeks after your step 1. I don’t think that would be too terrible. Just definitely don’t plan it to where your wedding is days or even a week after your exam.

Hi, I am a law student and not a med student, but many of my friends have been through med school. In fact, I have one right now who is an M2 studying for step 1 and she has very little free time. She also says that M2 was a lot more time consuming/difficult than M1.

As a 3L in law school planning her wedding for this coming fall, I am stressed out! I have two bar exams to study for, finals, and wedding planning to do and it is definitely a lot. I'm at the point where school is on the backburner and it is still somewhat overwhelming to plan a wedding.

If your wedding will be small, or if you are the kind of person who can take a back seat and let her fiance/planner/family do all of the heavy lifting, then you might be ok doing it after step 1.

Honestly, I planned my wedding around being able to take a honeymoon before I start work as a lawyer and knew that the decision I was making would make my school/professional life more stressful. You can definitely make it happen, but you just have to decide what to prioritize and go into it knowing what you are getting yourself into.

Hi! I’m taking pre-requisites for my nursing program. We’re getting married before I start my program!

In my opinion, a wedding is just a formality, and it can be organized at any other time when it is convenient, now it is important to focus on education and complete my studies. Or do what my sister does to her husband. When they decided to get married, my sister was still studying at the university and working on her course project, it took all her free time, so they just submitted documents and signed, and then after graduation went on a trip

Having been through M1-4, residency, and fellowship… with a sister who is an M2… my advice is don’t take on wedding planning right now. Your M1-3 performance is so important. You are literally laying the foundation for the rest of your career. M1 is a huge step up from undergrad. Wedding planning is a huge time suck (and as prior posters said, the last few weeks are the most time consuming so you do NOT want that distraction just before step 1). M4 is much more chill, all your step exams will be over, and you’ll have more time to plan and deal with all the minutiae that the final months have in store, instead of getting distracted from studying for step 1. My friend tried to plan her huge black tie wedding (also had a wedding planner), the event was just 3 months after our subspecialty boards and she failed the boards. The wedding was beautiful though! The following year when she studied without distractions she passed them! Take that for what it’s worth. 🤷‍♀️ Smart smart doctor.. had passed every other board exam until that point.. but if you’re distracted you just can’t put the time necessary in to succeed. You can get married at the end of M4, and take a nice relaxing honeymoon just before you start residency. I’d do the nice engagement party like you suggested to be able to include your elderly relatives in some aspects of the wedding, and at most just book your venue and major vendors now, and save your minor details planning for later.

Hi KP Congratulations on your engagement and welcome to the wedding wire this the place that can help you. With your planning you can shop for vendors from venues to wedding cake officiant. Search for what you are looking forAnd we are also here for you in case that you may need to vent also Congratulations into your medical studies first just start with the date that you want to be married then talk color schemes with your FH

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Hi! Thanks for sharing – yes, this is what we decided on doing! Currently diving into Step 1 studying since M2 just began (you're definitely correct, it's a step up, even compared to M1) and we're just picking a date and venue to book about 2.5 years out. And that's pretty much the extent of planning we'll be doing for the rest of M2!

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Thank you!

My sister got married during M2. They had a small ceremony (15 people) that fall, then she had like a week off in the spring before M3 started, so they had the big reception during that week. I know this probably doesn't exactly match the timeline you want, but maybe it helps if you would be open to a mini-mony or separate events.

If you have a large guest list and multicultural ceremony, I'd wait until after M4 and after interviews. I got married after M2, but family members planned the whole wedding. I don't think I even went to tastings/cake choosing etc. I only picked and got fitted for a dress, that's all I had time for.