Personal Attendants

My humble opinion is that the majority of frequent posters on the knot forums go out of their way to be total jerks.

What exactly is a Personal Attendant???

Shauna I wasn't sure either, but it's my understanding that they keep the day kind of running smoothly, make sure the bridesmaids are running on time and have everything. One wedding I was in that had PAs, they brought us lunch while we got ready. They're kind of the point of contact for the vendors the day of. So maybe similar to a DOC? But in a more personal way?

I... I have never heard of this. In all honesty, I'd be so weirded out by someone asking me this, and when I found out the tasks, I'd definitely be offended.

Get you lunch? I can't even fathom asking a friend to do that.

A personal attendant is exactly what it sounds like. If you need people to keep you in line, hire a wedding planner or DOC. Don't ask your friends to basically be friendors.

I am having 2 personal attendants too. I was a personal attendant as well in one of their weddings. I was not offended that I was asked to be the PA. She was so appreciative of everything me and the other PA did to help keep her day on track. I was happy to do it. But, pretty much all weddings I have been too have been that way. Might be an Iowa thing? Lol

I am not having one because we are having a DW and all our bridal party are men (we both have brothers). I don't think its offensive at all though. They pretty much do the same thing as the bridesmaid they just don't stand up and concentrate on you for the day. Every wedding I have been in the bride has had personal attendants (If that makes you feel better)

Hmmm no I could never ask someone to be my personal attendant and honestly I would be offended. So you don't want me to stand up there with you but I can get you lunch? No thanks.

Yeah Athena, maybe it is. Like I said, one of my PAs had PAs for her wedding, so I know the girls I asked weren't offended.

Reading the other comments, where do you live? I live in Wisconsin so maybe it's a Midwest thing?

I live in Iowa. Maybe it is a midwest thing. Having a DOC isn't very common here. Most of the weddings I've been to are small town weddings where they've never even heard of a DOC.

Yea I learned about DOC here on WW... So who knows.

I've never even heard of this. It sounds...odd to me.

I...would be a little offended if someone asked me to be a PA. I mean, are you paying them? I assume not, since they're supposedly your friends. This sounds like a terrible job. I'm not close enough to stand with you, but I can "attend" to you all day? Nope.

ETA: I also am from the midwest, and I've never heard of this.

Yeah DOC are not common here either. When I first got engaged one of my friends hinted that she would like to be a PA over a bridesmaid. Then we went with the destination wedding so only family is going to be there for the ceromony. I wouldn't worry it sounds acceptable where you live

It's clearly just a midwest thing then. I would be happy to help my friend on her wedding day, I definitely wouldn't be offended if someone asked me to be PA.

It's not 'clearly just a Midwest thing' because I'm in the Midwest and have never heard of it. However, my opinion is that you should hire someone to be a PA and not ask a friend to do it. THAT is where the "offense" is coming from.

So I looked this up because I was curious - and this line in a wedding blog jumped out at me...

'She (or he) stays at the bride’s side all day and isn’t relieved of her duty until the reception'

Relieved of her duty?? That sounds like a job to me. I can just imagine it. 'Yeah, you're not important enough to be in my bridal party, but rather than just inviting you as any old guest where you can actually enjoy the wedding, I'd like you to work for me - be at my beck and all all damn day...sound like fun? Great...'

I wasn't going to have them, but one of our ushers lives locally so she's been basically doing a PA sort of role. It was kind of needed in the lead up since the M.E. makes it pretty much impossible to function alone. If FH isn't coming to meet a vendor, she's coming for when aphasia hits and as an extra set of ears in case my memory goes. She's fielding questions from guest etc on the day and will be keeping the peace between some family rifts. She's also offered to help with bouquets since she used to work in a florist.

I would have thought it was offensive to ask her, if she hadn't offered to do these things which seem like PA duties as far as I can tell. But, before now, I'd never heard of a personal attendant.

Woahhhhh that's definitely not how it is. Lol

I won't be demanding my grande triple shot vanilla latte at a perfect 165 degrees. That's not what this is like. They're helping because they're my friends. Not slaves, not employees.