Personal attendant

You should not ask anyone to be your personal attendant.

^Yes. I'd consider hiring someone who is not a friend for this job.

Why so?

I have a friend who is honored to be my personal attendant. She is very excited. I'm treating her the same as if she were a bridesmaid and inviting her spouse and kids.

Its like all the responsibility without the honor. Your friends want to enjoy the wedding not work at it.

Hire a day of coordinator. Your friend should be enjoying your wedding not working it.

My reception venue provides me with a personal attendant for my reception. Don't hire a friend/family member.

I agree with pp. Any person running around doing things for you should be paid. Treating them "like a BM" is not the same as having them be a BM. And trust me, she'll know the difference.

Personal attendant? Like a lady in waiting? For royalty? This is a thing?

It depends on exactly what you intend to ask your personal attendant to do, but I've served as one and it was a lot of work. I decorated the entire church and reception hall for the couple the morning of the wedding, ran errands for the volunteer wedding coordinator the day of, helped multiple bridesmaids with their hair, had 5 minutes to change into the dress I brought to wear for the wedding, sat in the back of the church during the ceremony and did not get to watch the bride walk down the aisle, and then I didn't the entire reception preparing drinks for the other guests. I got to sit at the reception for 15 minutes before the bride and groom left, and then I was expected to help with cleanup. I did not get to enjoy any part of their wedding as a guest, which I supposedly was. If you have a lot of things on your personal attendant's list of things to do, just hire a professional DOC.

Ha! This post made me smile. Asking someone to be your personal attendant- hell, I'm gonna ask someone to be my personal housekeeper and get them to come clean my whole house the week before the wedding. Because I'll be so busy with other stuff that week, you know?

I wouldn't have family or friends do it. If someone offered to lend a helping hand, that's nice but I don't want them to work the day of. It's also pressure should anything go wrong, it's nice having hired help to deal with it and not putting that pressure on family/friends.

I think the hardest part is that it sounds like a lot more responsibility and work than being a bridesmaid, but you get none of the honor or recognition that the bridal party will get. I'm sure you are not intending it to be this way at all, but it sounds like a thankless job. Again, that doesn't mean I think you are mistreating this person in any way, I'm just saying why couldn't she have been a bridesmaid?

I can't say no enough. Either have her as a bridesmaid or have her as a guest. Personal attendant is no honor.

I personally hate the thought of this. As the bride, I would feel like a psycho bridezilla who hired a personal assistant for the day (pro bono)...as a bridesmaid, I would feel HELLA awk and uncomfortable...as the personal attendant...i would first of all never be one bc I would say thanks but no thanks...and second of all would feel like the help, completely taken advantage of, and embarrassed

@Meagan- here's why I'm hating on the idea- I was a live in servant for several years of my life. I now have employees and part time service help of my own. I pay people to work for me. I would never dream of asking someone to work for me for free. How is asking someone to do free personal assistant type work any different than asking someone to do free catering or flowers or to build you a wedding day arch? It's all rude. And I can't think of a single thing I would need a day of servant on my wedding for. It's just WEIRD. How you felt honored to be asked is beyond me.

@Ashley, if I had realized what I was being asked to do, I would have said no, too! I was just kind of asked to help with a few things and didn't know until the weekend of the wedding what that to do list actually was. I think they threw the term "kind of sort of honorary BM" in there once. Never again.

Heather, maybe explain to us what you are wanting this person to do??

All I'm picturing is someone to fan you while feeding you grapes...

I was personally able to do everything myself, except zip-up my gown, which my MOH did for me, while a photo was being taken.

I also think you may want to just hire a coordinator...

What the heck is a personal attendant? Why are all of these new trends popping up that turn the bride into some kind of slave driver queen instead of a nice person who appreciates what really matters? Don't ask anybody to be your servant, it's not nice. If you really need to, ask a close friend if they might be willing to help you with a few small day-of matters but if you need someone to do what is basically a job, hire someone to do it.