People really ask for a plus one????!!!!!

Honestly I don't think it's rude to ask. It's rude to ASSUME but not to ask. I've been pretty flexible with plus ones. One lady has to drive 4 hours and asked if there was any way she could bring her boyfriend so she didn't have to drive alone and we agreed that was fine but she was also prepared for us to tell her no so she was pretty happy. I don't think it ever hurts just to ask nicely.

I've attended plenty of weddings solo, and I've never assumed or thought to ask if I could bring a date if I was single.

Maybe I'm just old and crabby, but hearing all these, "Going to weddings alone is horrible and I'm so lonely!" complaints makes me wonder whatever happened to social skills. No matter how shy you are, weddings have tons of built-in conversation starters. How do you know the couple? What do you think of the decorations? And on and on. And you're guaranteed to know at least a few people. Folks, it is just not that hard to have a pleasant evening without a security blankie.

If I'd heard anything approaching, "I'd rather stay home if you won't pay for my bringing a random stranger to your intimate wedding," then I would have told that guest to keep their happy butt at home. The guest list is up to the couple, not you.

Yeeeeeeah I had one person send me a message online saying attending plus 1.....I was just like uh....okay? I guess? But if it happens again I might freak out.

We had some ask too. Since we had some declines the few that asked we did end up saying okay other wise it would of been a big fat nope. Our budget just did NOT allow for everyone to have plus ones at the time.

Shannon, I've got social skills and can make small talk, but that isn't the point. We spend time drilling etiquette into people's heads because good etiquette means guests will more likely have a great time (and it's a nice thank you for attending), so why would a bride then turn around and say "but sorry, you gotta come alone because I don't want to spend the money/have someone I don't know there/insert another reason here"?

And no, you are not guaranteed to know at least a few people. Not these days. One of my bridesmaids doesn't know anyone else at the wedding except us. She met my MOH back when we were in HS, but that was over 15 years ago. They are strangers, because everyone lives in different states. Lee's BM has never met anyone there because he lives in another state as well. My sister knows ONE person.

If you don't care enough about me to allow me to bring someone (thus ensuring I'll have a great time celebrating you!), then I probably don't care enough to attend. And hey, you save money.

I went to a wedding about a year ago, and I was with my now husband. We only knew each other. We knew no one else other than the groom. So, no, that's not true (that you'll know at least a few people).

I also have social skills but trying to be that third wheeler makes you look super creepy.

Cut down on the amount of people you are having all together but give people plus ones. It's not that hard.

I am all for etiquette, and have made that point numerous times on this board. But it goes both ways. Hosts make their guests as comfortable as possible within their means, but guests are not to dictate the terms of the hospitality. Demanding a plus-one, or you'll sulk on the sidelines or not come, is dictating the terms of hospitality. It's like being invited to a dinner party, and calling to insist that the hosts change the date to suit your schedule, and have a cookout instead of pasta.

Personally, I invited people to my wedding because I "cared enough" to share the day with them. And, in turn, they "cared enough" about us to accept graciously and not make demands. They came and had a great time. Did people ask to bring a date? Yes, if they were in a relationship that I didn't know about. Nobody asked to bring a random. Did they threaten not to come, or decline, because I said I could not accommodate their request? No.

And, yes, I've been the person at the wedding who didn't know people. If you know absolutely nobody, it's nice of the couple to extend a plus-one to you. But if they don't, it is just not that hard to make conversation at an event where everyone is in a good mood, and everyone has things in common with you (like the couple).

Frankly, there are far less courteous things a couple can do than decline to offer you a security blanket. It's small potatoes.

I feel like I am different than most. In the past, unless I had a steady BF, I preferred to go to weddings alone even if I was given a plus one. I would rather party and mingle than have to baby sit a random date all night. I don't want to be responsible for someone else's good time. How lame. I want to be able to enjoy myself. So what if you have to sit out a slow song or two? BFD. That's the prefect time to grab a drink.

For my own wedding, only the bridal party and people in long-term relationships are getting plus ones. I'm not paying $125 a plate for anyone's flavor of the month to come to my wedding. The only exception to that would be one friend that I have coming long distance who won't know anyone else. My single friends - they can make new friends. Also, we aren't having many slow songs at our wedding. I want everyone up and dancing and partying.

Oh yes. I haven't even sent out invites yet and someone already TEXTED me about this. We intended to invite his girlfriend anyway bc they are serious, but they did only start dating back in September. He texted me TELLING me, not asking that he was bringing her. It is a close friend and my FH was like whatever you know how he is and I do but still. How do you TELL someone that you're bringing a guest especially when invites haven't even effin gone out yet. W/e

I have to agree with Shannon S. I cared enough to invite you so you should graciously accept or decline. For some people its not about celebrating the couple its lets get some free food and drinks. SMH

There were two women invited to my wedding specifically that weren't given a plus one. There was a good solid reason behind this. As far as RSVPing, one woman has added a plus one and then changed who she was bringing multiple times in the first three days! The other woman RSVPd just one because she said was sick of men and not going to date for a few months, she just texted and told my FH to add a guest for her. When he asked who, she ignored him.

Baaaahahahahaha people are toooo funny I tell ya.

Yeah, they really do! I think the ones that have never had a wedding or been to one are the ones that tend to ask. Or they just don't realize each person is a cost. They don't realize that you can't invite everyone...and for some reason their plus one is more important than you actually being able to invite someone you want. LOL

I was given no plus one for many weddings I was invited to-whether it was a small wedding, big wedding, family or friend. I think a lot of people are a little old fashioned and think everyone should have a date. When weddings cost what they do per person today, this is simply not feasible.

So, I kinda used the same rule of thumb, if a. one is not married or b. I don't know their boyfriend/girlfriend, they are not invited.

The worst is one of my friends who failed to give me a plus one to hers, now wants one for my wedding (she is no longer married). Honestly, if people are going to make rules. they shouldn't try to break them when the shoe is on the other foot... #justsayin

I am running into the same problem, except I only invited close family and just about everybody did get a plus one, but my 18 year old cousin is asking for one and my mom is asking to bring a friend of the family that I have never met. I feel that if I could have afforded a longer guest list there are people that would be first on my list and... theyre not it.

What others have said. You will likely have room for them. And, since they are asking you first, there's no guarantee that their "plus one" can make it.

It sucks to not know anyone at a wedding. I've been to weddings where I only knew the bride/groom and no one else, and it was awkward, especially for an introverted person like me. Everyone is getting a plus one at my wedding, so hopefully no one feels awkward!! Haha

Are these people friends or family? If friends, I can understand wanting to bring a friend since they’ll likely not know anyone there....

I love when threads get revived 3 years later...

View Quoted Comment Bahahahahah I didn’t even notice.