Party for those not attending destination wedding

I would suggest doing your DW first, and then planning

a marriage celebration for your families when you return.

You can't throw your own engagement party. That is incredibly rude. Also, you should invite people to pre wedding activities that won't be invited to the wedding. Your best bet is just to do a celebration of marriage later or do a vow renewal a while down the line. But why get married someplace that none of your family can afford if you want them there?

I completely understand what we are going through. We are doing a dw and we have had several (even family) say they can't come. Unfortunately that happens. We also planned our own engagement party too. (I didn't think it was rude and no one there thought that either). I will say it was tons of fun as a great celebration.

Dealing with the guilt... it's going to be there from family. Ours does it frequently. Keep telling yourself this is our wedding and what we wanted. It doesn't after what they say as long as you aren't hurting yourself or someone else. It stinks but I'm not sure what else you can do about that. I hope this helps some.

If you're paying for your wedding, you get to decide what kind of wedding you want. Don't let your family make you feel guilty about the choice you've made.

And just have a celebration of marriage when you come back from your DW. It's in poor taste to throw an engagement party for yourself.

The best advice I have for anyone planning a DW is to know your crowd. We do a family vacation every year with FH's family and a separate one with my sister's. A lot of my friends and I do weekend getaways. I have a lot of people that like to travel so a DW makes sense for us. All of my VIPs are able to attend and are looking forward to it. We're just doing that instead of all the smaller little vacations/trips we normally do individually.

A bunch of FHs extended family can't come, he has a lot of cousins, aunts and uncles on both sides of his family. We are hosting an at home Reception when we get back to celebrate with the folks that couldn't come.

Maybe you could do that? It seems to be a pretty popular thing to do after a DW. It can be as casual or fancy as you want it to be. We were going for casual, but FHs family wants to dress up so we compromised and are doing a brunch at a Reception Hall. I've seen some people do a full 200 people black tie affair, as well as VFW parties or back yard super casual BBQs. It really depends on your style and your crowd.

I would do the celebration after the DW.

Do a celebration when you get back. Unfortunately with having a DW wedding is that not everyone you want to attend will be able to

View Quoted Comment I don’t think it’s rude to throw your own engagement party. I have no friends or family, so who would do it for me if I didn’t?

My suggestion to you is to think of your family and have your wedding where they can all be a part of it. Then go on your honeymoon in Jamaica. Don’t hurt your family like that.