Beginner June 2021

Out of Town Uncle to Officiate. Gift?

Sydney, on March 30, 2021 at 12:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

I know that it is a grey area when talking about paying an officiant who is a family member. My FH's uncle is a Pastor in Pensacola, FL and will be officiating our wedding in Illinois. My question should we/how much should we "gift" him for officiating our wedding.

I was thinking about possibly paying for his plane ticket here. Should we also include his wife's ticket? He has children that will also be coming so that's where it may become a slippery slope but what do you all think is our best option?

Thanks! Smiley heart


Latest activity by Kristin, on March 30, 2021 at 3:25 PM
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    My brother-in-law is our officiant and he'll be traveling. We plan to make a donation to a charity of his choice.
    • Reply
  • S
    Beginner June 2021
    Sydney ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Do you think that we should provide the option to pay for his ticket, donate to a charity, or donate to his church?

    • Reply
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
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    We had my husband’s uncle officiate. We discussed with his son, my DH’s cousin, what he thought would be the best play—the first thought we had was paying for his flight, as well. However, his son said what he’d really want is to spend time with us, that the flight wasn’t a big deal and easier to just book on his own rather than coordinate with us. So that’s what we did! We took him and his wife out to a very fancy steak dinner about six months after the wedding as a thank you—the dollar value was definitely higher than their flights and we got to spend a few hours together socializing and catching up. Your officiant might prefer something more practical (i.e. flight or donation), but I did want to throw out what we did because it was exceptionally well-received!
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Pay him for services offered. Whatever thumbtack.com says is the average rate for your city.

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  • Kristin
    Devoted December 2021
    Kristin ·
    • Flag
    It sounds like you are similar to me where your officiant would be attending as a guest if they weren’t officiating. Ours is a family friend who has known me since I was born and all he wants is a nice bottle of whiskey. I think it would be a nice gesture to ask if he would like a donation to his church or a charity, but more than that is unnecessary.
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