Ordering two last names (no hyphen) or taking husband's name as middle name?

I personally would do the yourlast and then hislast if you want to go that route so that way when addressing its more stream line, however that my biased look of it! i think it may be fun for you and your FH to sit down and come up with the combo and maybe practice at home addressing yourself or saying the name the way you think you'd lik it to be worded. Somethings take some getting used to so hearing it a couple times may be easier to narrow it down!

@ M- LOL i noticed that too

Wait... What 90's movie was that from?

I know it's silly. I know it's the internet. But c'mon.

I saw another girl one day go "Cars & Scarves!" and then legitimately goes "Oh, I'm such an idiot! I meant cars & scarfs!" and I LOST.MY.MIND.

ETA: It's from Friday.

Hahaha! Oooookay now I remember! Thank you!

Future Mrs. Gee,

I thought of that, but the reason I would want my last name to be last is because it seems from other forums that I've read that eventually a lot of women end up being called just by their husband's name when its just added on at the end. That's why I was curious if people think it is more comfortable to default to the final name, regardless of whether its his or mine. Any thoughts? (Anyone?)

Jayne or Jane which is correct? M I do me, you do you. They have a saying here don't buy out people's problems, if that's what you're about try facebook.

I love my last name but I want to take my fiance's last name. I would not want our future children to have a different last name than me! I also love my middle name, its a family name passed down. So, I'm planning to add my maiden name as a second middle name when I get married and take my husband's last name.

My doctors last name is Williams-Vaughn and half of the time I'm filling out paperwork, I put W.-V. Because I'm just too lazy to write all that out. I don't think it matters which one comes first. I still don't agree with it and I think it's weird that neither of you really care, but it's your life and you have to live it. Not me. Flip a coin. Mix up all the letters of both of your names to make a new one. Or don't change it at all! I feel like I'm going to need some popcorn for the rest of this post though.

Rocky, I think people might default to the final name for things that are just in paperwork (bank statements, etc) but if you introduce yourself as your last name, they'd probably go by that.

I have DH's name now, but I kept mine for a year after our wedding because I knew we were moving and didn't want to have to get and then replace 2 sets of ID. We were just as married before I changed my name. I still use my maiden name for some things, my school email is under it and so are some of my bank accounts. For anything that doesn't require a legal name, I usually write MyLast HisLast, and I'd love to make that my legal name as well, but I need to research whether I can just do that or if I'd have to do a legal name change.

ETA: I think it's weird that women's FHs have a say in what they do with their names. It's your name!

Not sure if this would be an option for you, but have you considered making a new combined last name from both and then you and FH changing to that?

OP now i am understanding your question! Ok, me personally when i address my customers, its usually Mrs _____ and if its hyphened, its defaulted to the 2nd of the two. Regardless of whose name it is (yours or his )i think they'll default to the one at the end

My mom didn't take my dad's last name, so she doesn't have the same last name as I do. Growing up, it was never a big deal... She kept her name for professional reasons, and it never caused any drama of any kind that I recall. I never resented it as a kid. Her last name is my middle name, and while I didn't always love that growing up (because it's kind of masculine-sounding), I've come to appreciate having both parents' names.

Now my dilemma is whether I'll drop one of my two family names or keep them both and add FH's last name at the end. I will be changing my name mostly because I like his better--my last name is incredibly common and his is more unique.

But the bottom line is that it's a personal choice, and what's right for one person might not work for someone else.

Sigh....in my culture it isnt a must or norm to take your husbands last name, my mom never did and it has never been an issue.

id like to keep my because my last name is my heritage and my dad's legacy. However i know my fh may feel some kind of way if i choose to not take his so i may end up doing the hyphen thing.

I also dont want to go through the trouble of changing ALL my documents etc, i have dual citizenship so its gonna be a pain in the ass. yikes.

I was already married once and went through a whole crazy hassle changing my name to something that was not my maiden name - when FH and i got serious, i told him that the most I would do is hyphenate. he was also not okay with that but frankly it's not his name. it took a lot of long discussions but he finally saw the light (or decided that being married had more value than the argument over the name issue, whichever).

I adore my FH and I'm willing to hyphenate (which is awkward because my first name is also hyphenated) but I'm not dropping my name.

I think it's kind of ridiculous that it's almost 2015 and we are still arguing about the validity of women not taking their husbands name. we're not effing cattle ladies. it's not necessary.

Thanks for your input everyone! (Though I think maybe one person actually answered the question that I asked lol.)

IMHO, I think it is sad that there is even a discussion about the validity of women keeping their names too, but anyway... I guess I'll just keep thinking about it.

I have seen this topic floating around on here a few times.

I've got to ask, is it an American thing to take your husbands name as your middle name? I have never in my life heard of someone doing that until I came on here and it just sounds crazy to me. To each their own I guess.

I don't know how much help I'll be to you, but if you put your last name as Jones-Smith I would call you Mrs. Smith. It's too much of a mouthful to say a full hyphenated name. I assume people only use their names that way when their signing documents that require your full legal name.

I hate my FH's last name (or, I guess I hate my first name with his last name), and as much as my maiden name means to me, I will still be taking his last name. I will keep my maiden name as my middle name, so I will be First name, Middle name (because that is special to me too), Maiden name, FH's last name. FH and I are joining our lives together, and that includes our name. Besides, kids are in our future, and having a family name that we all share is important to both of us.

Wow I didn't realize that there was no purpose in getting married if you choose not to change your last name. Some of these comments are shockingly ignorant. It's 2014 and women are not men's property. They can choose to keep their own name if they wish. It is a personal decision. Keeping your own name makes you no less married or no less a family if you have kids. I would never marry a man that became angry or pissed off if I wanted to keep my name.

I went through this mental debate as well. You have to do what makes you happy and most comfortable. It is a big transition that we are all going through, and you name, something that has been your identity might be changing. Take your time, weigh the odds and you will arrive at the decision.

He definitely wants to give me his last name. I am so happy, honored and excited to do so...

But here's the question...where do my middle and current last name go? Well....I might just have two "middle initials" or drop my middle initial from paper and use my soon to be maiden name as my middle initial as my mother did. I think I'll do the second choice!!!!

Emily S - Ok that comment was directed towards me.....yes my FH got pissed when i jokingly said I was keeping my last name because that is not what we discussed at the very beginning of our relationship and now that we're planning the wedding "I changed my mind" The last name change is VERY important to us especially because we have kids. It won't make us less of a family but carrying their last name will make us feel whole. We're a Team....TeamPereira. It really bothers me to go my daughter's school or doctors appointments carrying a different last name from my kids....and yes it's 2014 and sadly people forget the old-fashioned ways still work. We are too caught up in that "it's 2014" attitude I'm gonna do what I want cause whatever......