Ordering two last names (no hyphen) or taking husband's name as middle name?

I have two middle names as well, and as much as I love my family, I will be ditching my last name for FH's. Personally, I would think it would be too much of a mouth-full.

I do not have two middle names but my brother does. I cannot imagine having two middle names AND two last names. Is there a reason you do not want to give up your current last name?

Just as a note, I will not ever tell people what they should or should do with their names. I personally believe wholehartedly you take the name of the man you are marrying.

But think about kids, if you're planning on having them. My mom never gave up her maiden name, claiming she "had a career." Well, she quit that career when I was born, and for my entire life, my birth mother & myself have DIFFERENT LAST NAMES. She could barely sign a doctors waiver for me, or pick me up early from school, or get flight tickets together. It was the worst. thing. ever. and I will NEVER do that to my children.

Yes I thought about it being a mouthful too, but honestly, I don't think I have ever been required to use all four names for anything. I just like having the option, since my name has a lot of family history, to honor every part. Even now I have one credit card with the M.I. of my first middle name and another with the M.I. of my second middle name (different companies). Never been a problem, even at the airport! And on the day to day, I will probably continue to introduce myself as First Last and leave my middle names out of it

I want to keep all my names because of family history. For several generations, my name has been given to the first born boy of the family, but my parents gave it to me even though I was their second child and a girl. I'm just really proud of it, and its a part of my identity that I don't want to change because I am married. I also want to keep my maiden name for professional reasons.

Jokingly I said to FH that I wasn't going to take his last name and he got upset LOL - I will proudly take his last name and dropping mine. I want to have the same last names as him and our kids. I feel so left out right now :-/

I wouldn't worry too much about the kid issue. My daughter has her father's last name which is different from mine and it has never been an issue.

FH and family are totally chill about whatever. Our families are from different cultures and can barely pronounce each others super ethic names as is. So they basically said go for whatever makes you happiest since we're family either way . I think if we were to have kids they would just get one first name, and both of our last names with no middle names. None of his family have any middle names.

Lol Alexis i put it nicely but he was pissed too! haha

Haha my FH thinks I should just not change anything for simplicity's sake too, though he doesn't care if I take his in addition to mine.

Whoa, @ReggaeLady, that's a bit much.

There are many options for changing your name when married. I don't think it's an insult to not take your husband's last name. Yeah, it's tradition in our culture, but it's not a mandate. A wife is no longer her husband's property. I like the idea of having one last name as a family, but that doesn't mean you have to give up your heritage. I really can't believe how judgmental some previous posters were about not taking the husband's last name. Thought we had fought this one out in the 60's but I guess not.

Rocky, to answer your question, do whatever you want. Who cares if you have two middle names and two last names? How often do you actually use your middle name in daily conversation?? I personally don't know about the whole two last names without hyphening issue. I do know women who have two last names that are not hyphenated, but they go by both. I would assume that however you introduce yourself would be what people know you by, so it's up to you.

@reggae lady, very true in some cases. Personally, I think it is an insult that so many men don't even consider taking their wives last name, and I think many women who don't say anything feel the same way. I would never ask my FH to change his last name if he didn't want to, and he would never ask me to change mine. Fortunately, I live in a place where men and women can choose whichever name they want, and I hope that more states will make it easier for men to change their names to their wives' names in the future.

Honestly, I'm not sure why you would go through the hassle of changing your name if just to add his as a middle name or a "first last name." If your first and last name will remain the same, doesn't seem worth the trouble to me. I will add his last name and be Lara Middle Maiden HisLast and less formally be Lara HisLast. As far as my career, I haven't figured out how I will approach that, if I will change my email address, etc, I will cross that bridge when we get there.

@Rocky you're right if the man takes the woman's name thats cool. As long as it's Mr and Mrs. Otherwise why get married stay as you are. The other chick Lori M every one has a belly button and also an opinion. You got yours and I got mine.

@Reggae Lady, thanks for being understanding, though for me there are many reasons to get married besides sharing a name.

"The other chick"? Please, show me a little more respect than that. I am not a "chick." I don't let people in the real world refer to me as a chick and I am certainly not going to let some random poster on a website do the same.

Yes, everyone has an opinion. But when you say "Why get married at all" if you don't have the same last name as your spouse, you are dismissing literally thousands of people who choose to do just that. It's a valid choice. Doesn't mean you have to do it, but if you are disrespecting people who choose to make that choice than I'm sorry but I'm going to call you out on it. There are plenty of reasons to get married that have nothing to do with your last name. I think everyone has to carefully think through exactly why they are changing their name, which is what Rocky is doing.

Bottom line: it doesn't make someone any less married because they don't take their spouse's last name. That idea is absolutely ridiculous and I'm surprised people in 2014 actually still think like that.

I personally am taking my Fh's last name, but its up to you. With how long my last name is, i wouldnt want to add to an already long name.

I do not however agree with the "why get married at all" statement. You get married because of the love you and your FH have and if you dont chnage your last name, thats between you and your FH.

If you do not want the hyphen, would suggest the 2nd option that you mentioned. I would just hate for you to have any confusion for people when they address you if its not like how you'd like to be called.

Since your wedding date is a little farther out, maybe try writing it out a couple times and see if you like the look and sound of it.

Like I said the other chick has an opinion and I have mine, OP asked a question, I replied, she repied we came to a happy medium. Bye Filisha.

Thanks Future Mrs. Gee,

I think the thing is I wouldn't mind being hislast mylast as a complete name or mylast hislast. I'd actually really like that. I just really don't want to be just hislast. Its either both with no hyphen (so I can use only one if I choose), or just mine. Like you said, at least i've got some time...

Just a note: If you're going to use 90's movie references in an inappropriate way, spell it correctly : FELICIA.