Open versus Assigned Seating

Regional differneces are intriguing..

NY born & bred, lived in Philly in my 20's and live in DE now. I've never been to a wedding with open seating - ever!

With that said...

I'm planning a buffet brunch reception for approx 75 ppl. I LIKE the idea of open seating with a few reserved tables for my parents, FH parents, etc. I'm also inviting friends who have children of their own and want to make sure their families stay intact. The children who will be attending will not know the other children in attendance and I would prefer children sat with their parents for my brunch reception.

I'm not sure what to do with mine. It's at a restaurant where we have the entire place all day to ourselves. Most of FH's family does not speak English and NONE of my family (except my brother's wife) speaks Spanish. I wanted to put my SIL somewhere with FH's family because they are from the same town in Honduras, so I was thinking of doing like my immediates and his immediates at one table and then everyone else can figure out their own, since I know they will all group together anyway.

The problem is, what about our friends who don't know either side of the family AND don't know each other? If I assign they will be unhappy and if I don't they will be "stuck" finding their own seats with people they don't know anyway!

Just throwing in my two cents here--our reception is at a country club, with amazing views of the golf course and our city. Lots of windows, and tables outside if guests want to use them. The guest list may outgrow the dining room, and we may have spillover into the bar area. We are a fun bunch, and am reserving a few tables for family only. Our venue manager said that most of the events they hold there are very casual, and she recommended NOT doing assigned seating, because she says it tends to make for very awkward evenings where guests go home much earlier than most brides and grooms would like them to. I really have no preference, but want everyone to have a great time and meet some new people too. So again, I'm on the fence, and can totally agree with both sides of this argument.

@Julie - I would definitely not assign seats if they are in two different rooms (like if you outgrow your dining room). Then people get REALLY offended. I wasn't at this wedding, but my friend went to one where half of the guests were seated inside the dining room and half were on the patio. It was assigned seating. The people on the patio were furious and hurt...clearly they didn't deserve to be in the dining room?! All of the activities and stuff were inside and the people outside literally were excluded and most just went home :/

I totally forgot about the whole idea that some weddings are separated like that. So add to my list above...if seating will be in multiple rooms/areas, then I do not recommend assigned seating...or even assigned tables!

@Crisanda - Unfortunately, for your situation, it sounds like those friends will feel uncomfortable regardless of your choice :/ Language barriers are very tough to overcome, especially at social events like weddings. I would probably recommend assigned seating in your case. There will already be confusion surrounding the reception due to language barriers and people not knowing each other...in your case, I think that assigned seating would at least mitigate that source of potential stress for your guests.

Double post...sorry!

We are having about 70 people. I have never been to an open seating wedding. I also want people to get to know each other. We are having a buffet wedding. Still not too sure what to do.

Katie Bug- don't worry about highjacking my post. I am glad I am not the only.

I don't know where to put people like our co workers.

FH and I are still undecided in this department. He doesn't want to, I kind of do because it would be nice to have a mixture of our families at each table. He thinks once the beer and wine gets flowing, they'll start to mingle on their own....I would just hate for "Betty & Bert" to have to eat dinner alone amongst a large crowd.

I'm going to assign tables, but not seats. Guests don't feel like I'm treating them like children but it enables organisation - win-win situation!

I know I'm late to the party, but I just had to share how happy I am to hear someone else against assigned seating! We are having a small wedding (60 people) and only a few out of town guests who won't have meet others. Plus about half of them will be coming up the day before for a wedding weekend, so plenty of time to get to know everyone. My mother keeps telling me I'm insane to not assign seats and thinks it's a horrible thing to do to my guests. I do think it's important to provide extra seats so no one is left hunting for the last remaining seat, but other than that we are all adults with many friends and family and we can all figure out where to sit. So glad to find someone else who agrees!

Melody - haha "late to the party"...I was so confused when I got an email saying someone had responded to this post

I'm also glad to see that other people agree...I just think in some cases it makes perfect sense. I was expecting complete resistance when I posted this haha but I'm glad there are other people with me! Yay open seating Sorry to hear your Mom is upset...is open seating never done in your family?

To add to this String... I am doing open seating (my wedding's next Saturday so definitely don't have time to change my mind) We are doing a "lounge" ambiance where for example I have 150 guests attending but only have seating for 120 or so and the rest is cocktail tables and lounge furniture for the younger crowd. I've seen this done before where the party turns more into a club feel than a formal sit down event which is precisely what we are t rying to avoid. We have 6 different types of food stations where guests can go grab small tasters of different foods throughout the entire night as opposed to just an hour or so. I feel that assigned seating/tables would formalize the event and force ppl to sit down and expect a plated dinner which will not be the case. My wedding is also very late (ceremony starts at 7:30 pm so dinner stations won't be open until about 9:30 pm) An assigned seating sit down formal dinner would make the wedding drag...my 2 cents

Maytee