Open Bar Stress

@KKCB I live in West Virginia. I may have misunderstood but I am pretty sure when we were discussing the open vs cash bar option, I stated we might do cash and she said something along the lines of many people do that and it takes the liability away from you. I assumed she meant if something were to happen I would be liable. Maybe it was more just meaning financially liable. I better clarify with her! LOL

I'm hoping she meant financially liable. You can only be liable if you're actually the one serving the drinks. The laws in every state are different, but I'd be shocked if you're actually liable if someone drinks too much. If that's the case, then you should be able to bring your own alcohol and use your own bartender. Otherwise, what's the point of paying for the hotel's??

Tina - The math sounds VERY, VERY wrong for Beer only. 3125/150=$21.00/pp I'm in Philadelphia and there are no venues here that charge that much pp for Beer only. Not even the Ritz Carlton charges that for Beer.

Are you sure you have the details correct? $21/pp sounds more like a Mid Price Full Bar...

Our venue let us have unlimited house wine, beer and sangria for $12 pp. so thats what we did on top of the soda, water, tea. And we paid and additional $60.00 to have a bartender for cash bar

Hi Tina, have you thought of just offering a signature cocktail as a way to save money? Your guests will really appreciate having one alcoholic drink provided to them.

You can get really creative with the cocktail...is there something you and your FH really like? You could even do a play on words cocktail....your name is Tina so a fruity martini drink called a "MarTina"?? Just throwing out ideas You get the point.

Supply the liquor and mixers yourselves to the bartender to further save you some $$.

We didn't have to stress about whether to had open or cash or even alcohol at our reception because our venue didn't allow alcohol. It saved us on our budget and no one who attended complained about not having any nor were they bored because they didn't have it. We didn't have to worry about the legalities either. Thank goodness.

@Marie, I am at work and don't have the information right in front of me to double check, and I tried to open a document that the event coordinator sent me by email but my work computer is being funky and won't open the pdf.. But the way they had it listed was beer was 5.25 per person per hour, wine was 5.50(i think was the price) per person per hour, the liquor was divided between call brands and premiums and I don't remember those prices but they were in the $6-$7 range. So unless I am reading it wrong the beer would be 5.25 per 150 people per 4 hours which would equal $3150.

Have you signed the contract with them yet sweetheart? If not, I'd have someone review it for you and consider having a 3rd party try to negotiate this a little better. I understand when you use the word "Wedding" the price goes up and they try to jam you into their packages but the economy in general is hurting which gives you leverage. Use it to your advantage - the worst they will say is no, the best they will say is we'll give you X if you sign with us.

I'm doing a hotel venue as well the alcohol is included in the pp cost. I had 4 hotels that I interviewed, call me crazy but I actually put together a spreadsheet of everything that comes in each "package" and handed it to each of them - and said if you want our business this is what you will supply. Naturally it was said nicer but u get the gist. They met our terms. PM me & I'll send it to you for a reference point.

We had completely open cocktail hour, then at the reception we had open beer, wine and 2 signature cocktails. Anything else was cash. We set a $ limit and once that was reached it became open bar. Luckily, we reached that point right before last call, so it really wasn't an issue.

Listen, there is nothing wrong with cash bars. There were cash bars before you asked this question and there will be cash bars after your wedding. You do what you can afford. Don't let people on the internet tell you to cut the guest list so you can provide free alcohol.

When you throw a party, you make sure your guests are taken care of. That means feeding them, entertaining them, and making sure they have refreshments. Last time I checked water, soda, tea, coffee, juice, etc. were refreshments. As long as you don't charge for those things, you are okay. Alcohol is optional. Those who can't have a good time without alcohol should really step back and question that attitude.

Http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-reception-planning/articles/how-to-stock-the-bar-at-your-wedding.aspx

This goes over what the average bar is stocked with for 100 folks and offers suggestions on routes other than open. It does clearly state, " don't have a cash bar without great reason (and there really isn't one)" because it's not a good cost cutting solution. So the article might be a bit biased.

I am having an open bar BUT we were allowed to bring our own alcohol and I also hired a driver to bring guests home after the party so that there was no drinking and driving going on.... I want my guests to have fun... Its my party, but its all about them

I know for bars and restaurants in TN the liability for stays with the server and the establishment. They can all be held personally liable. I had an ABC license and waited tables in TN.

Well said Miss Tattoo!

I am a corporate controller in the F&B (food and beverage) industry and that is most definitely high for "beer only" in WV. It is absolutely the hotel that is liable for any over serving of your guests. In the hosp industry that's why we have liquor liability insurance, its covers the business in that area should any accidents/lawsuits arise. Marie is right, today's economy gives the consumer the upperhand in the hospitality industry. Hardball them a bit, they want your business but won't work for it unless you make them. I too am doing a hotel venue and similarly told them what I wanted and how much I would pay for it (in the most polite way possible) TRUST ME they want your business so if you make them they will bend over backwards to make you happy and keep your business.

We had an open bar. Our venue allowed it to be brought in. Even if they didn't, we would have cut costs elsewhere as it is our cultural norm.

My daughter is having a 5 hour premium open bar, with 2 signature drinks and tableside wine service. The Mendenhall Inn does not divide up the price. It is part of the package. For our culture, this is the norm. Failing to provide it would be a major faux pas and insult to the guests.

If you can't pull off an open bar, go for the cash bar. However, make sure you let everyone know because most people don't attend weddings with a lot of money in their pocket. Also, I would negotiate for free sodas. If you are not serving alcohol, the least you could do is serve soda with the other drinks. I can't imagine making your guests pay for that.

As others have stated, this is a very controversial discussion on WW.

BTW, that is very high for beer only. I live in PA, but my wedding is in WV and we have been quoted $19.99 per person for food and alcohol at one venue and $3 per person for beer only at another. I think yours might be combined with dinner.

Just like Summer we are having an open bar and are allowed to bring in our own liquor. We just have to pay for bar tending, which is $500 from the start of cocktail hour (which is around 5-5:30 pm) until the end of the reception (around 2 AM). Also have to buy a liquor license. My dad is in charge of the booze (he owned a bar for over 20 years) so he knows how much and what to order.

Options

1) Inquire about a signature drink option

2) open bar for the 1st hour

3) just wine & beer alcohol option?

4) or wine and beer for the 1st hour.

I had: wine and beer and 2 signature drinks I had alcohol served til 10:30pm one hour before the wedding ended. I stressed over it, but in reality I never got a chance to even finish one drink, who ever wanted to drink to get drunk still did. So don't stress over it it will all work out. Work with the venue to come up with something.

I personally don't believe in cash bar.

Also, I had a bar menu placed on the bar and I placed a disclaimer at the bottom saying "Please remember to drink responsibly" But I also had a DW no one was driving.

Good luck

See if you can run a tab and then cap it at a certain point.

There is a line as far as I am concerned with doing a cash bar because you can't afford it and doing a cash bar because you care more about yourself than your guests. For example, if your dress was under $1000 and you did DIY flowers and cut costs all over the place and you still can't afford an open bar, I get it. But if you have a $5000 dress, paid $3000 for flowers, and then serve your guests chicken and a cup of tea, I think you are a bad host.