L + R
Master September 2014

NWR: Baby Shower for 2nd child?

L + R, on November 10, 2014 at 6:53 PM Posted in Married Life 0 61
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I have a friend who is currently pregnant with her 2nd, and her very best friend told her flat out she wasn't hosting a baby shower for her and said child because it is tacky. The baby is not the same gender as the first so i was a bit taken aback by this. Thoughts?

61 Comments

  • Kemmie
    VIP May 2015
    Kemmie ·
    • Flag

    I've seen this before. I never knew that was a rule. Etiquette alludes me with some of these things. So if it's your second marriage should you not have a shower either?

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  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
    • Flag

    I've heard of this being tacky, but so many people do it now that I dunno why it's still a thing.

    The idea is that a shower is where you get the "big" things like bouncers, swings, cribs, etc....all of which you would be reusing with your second child. People are more than welcome to not attend if it offends them.

    • Reply
  • S
    Master June 2015
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    Hmm, i'd never considered that before. here's what i found on parents.com:

    "Every pregnancy deserves to be toasted and cheered. But, since the true purpose of a baby shower is to help new parents acquire the gear and supplies they'll need, it's probably not necessary to give a traditional baby shower for parents who have a basement full of baby clothes and equipment. Instead, consider throwing a shower designed to make their lives easier when they've got a newborn and another child or two to juggle: a "stock the freezer" shower, for example, or a "Mom and Dad" shower, with gifts like their favorite movies on video or DVD or promises for baby-sitting services."

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  • Heather A
    Master September 2014
    Heather A ·
    • Flag

    I've always heard it's only first child.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    VIP September 2014
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    I've only heard of baby showers for the first child but what do I know?

    • Reply
  • Nancy Taussig
    March 2020
    Nancy Taussig ·
    • Flag

    I thought that for a second child it was called a baby "sprinkle" and did not include the big price items -- more of the expendables like diapers, clothes for a different gender, etc.

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  • AndixLyn
    Master June 2015
    AndixLyn ·
    • Flag

    I've heard people judge based on this but have always thought it was ridiculous. if you don't want to buy a big gift, you're never obligated to, but go celebrate a new life and show support for your friend. seems easy.

    • Reply
  • loveandfitness
    Dedicated May 2015
    loveandfitness ·
    • Flag

    Everyone I know has has a shower for each child. They maybe only registered for stuff like diapers or clothes if it was a different gender. But it was mostly for friends and family to come celebrate. Not so much the gifts. When we start having kids I'm going to register for gender neutral items (car seats, strollers..etc) so I can use them for the other kids as well. But if your friend just wants to celebrate her & her mom can do the shower.

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  • GrayCatVintage
    Master October 2015
    GrayCatVintage ·
    • Flag

    Within my circle of friends they will have a second shower if baby #2 is a different gender from the first. My cousin just had a shower for her boy due on Thanksgiving. At the shower for her daughter two years ago she got the crib, changing table, swing, stroller, all the "big" high dollar items and like 100 articles of clothing. For the baby boy shower the "dads" went all out - they all got John Deere farm decor, mini tractors, and stuffed livestock, etc. you get the idea and some clothing items. It was not nearly as much of a "thing" as was the first shower. On the other hand another relative had her daughter's first birthday party a few weeks ago and it was like a whole Toys R' Us was transported to her living room. It was a bigger deal than her shower.

    • Reply
  • L + R
    Master September 2014
    L + R ·
    • Flag

    Well, see, what happened was....

    I felt so bad that her friend told her this, got diarrhea of the mouth, and offered to host her one. O.o

    It was Halloween and I had been drinking plenty of spiked Apple Cider.

    Her husband was DH's best man. We're close, but I'm closer to her hubby, since BM and DH became friends through me, before her.

    • Reply
  • B
    Master December 2015
    BunnyLove ·
    • Flag

    IMO, all children should be celebrated. Not just the first. I hosted 2 showers for a friend.

    • Reply
  • Annie & Javi
    Master October 2015
    Annie & Javi ·
    • Flag

    It's very common in NJ for there to be second baby showers, they may not be as big as the first shower, but we definitely celebrate the new baby, we call them 'sprinkles' or layette showers.

    • Reply
  • Kaegurl
    Master June 2014
    Kaegurl ·
    • Flag

    In my circle we do a diaper party for a 2nd child regardless of its sex. I think it's tacky to have a full on baby shower for a 2nd child.

    • Reply
  • OMW
    Master August 2013
    OMW ·
    • Flag

    I've been to a few second showers - some things need to be replaced, especially if it's a different gender!

    • Reply
  • future mrs hall
    VIP May 2015
    future mrs hall ·
    • Flag

    One of my bms just went to a baby shower yesterday that is for the couples third daughter in like 3 years. she said no one showed up except the mom, her mil & sil and my bm. they also wouldn't allow men, which would have upped the attendees. we were discussing that they should have had a diaper party or something else like that. I'm not sure what they needed at a baby shower since they have 2 young daughters already, like the next youngest one is barely over a year.

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  • ItsGoodToBeKing
    Master February 2014
    ItsGoodToBeKing ·
    • Flag

    Id celebrate a friend's 2nd child.

    • Reply
  • Koch Bride
    Master September 2014
    Koch Bride ·
    • Flag

    I've heard the term "sprinkle" lately and I'm not a huge fan of them but if one of my friends had one, I'd show up with diapers, wipes and other practical stuff like I usually do at a baby shower. I always go boring (aka practical) with baby showers.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsChang
    VIP September 2015
    FutureMrsChang ·
    • Flag

    I would and have celebrated a second child- just as special as the first IMO. However, if it were me and someone offered to throw a shower I would ask for something a little smaller-low key, especially if it were the same gender as my first. If it were a different gender- I would still prefer low key, but if whoever was throwing it for me wanted bigger who am I to deny a celebration! The only thing different I would do is not register for big ticket items. I would be very, very modest and selective when registering.

    • Reply
  • JC
    Devoted June 2014
    JC ·
    • Flag

    I have NEVER been to a shower for a second baby.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Devoted November 2014
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    My "friend" had one for all 3 of her children because she is extremely greedy and only cares about material objects. I gave her second hand items for her 3rd child but it wasn't good enough for her, she had to have new. Pure greed!

    • Reply

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