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L + R
Master September 2014

NWR: Baby Shower for 2nd child?

L + R, on November 10, 2014 at 6:53 PM

Posted in Married Life 61

I have a friend who is currently pregnant with her 2nd, and her very best friend told her flat out she wasn't hosting a baby shower for her and said child because it is tacky. The baby is not the same gender as the first so i was a bit taken aback by this. Thoughts?

I have a friend who is currently pregnant with her 2nd, and her very best friend told her flat out she wasn't hosting a baby shower for her and said child because it is tacky. The baby is not the same gender as the first so i was a bit taken aback by this. Thoughts?

61 Comments

  • GoneAndMarried
    Master August 2015
    GoneAndMarried ·
    • Flag

    I think second baby showers are gift grabby. Babies are celebrated when they are born, and people arrive at the hospital or new parents home with gifts then also

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    June 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I like the idea of a 'sprinkle"! If I was organizing it, I'd make it really clear to the guests that only small gifts were expected. I'm not exactly sure how I'd do that, lol...

    That being said, I do LOTS of baby welcomings, and people always bring gifts. Maybe one party per kid is enough....

    • Reply
  • Rena S
    Super March 2015
    Rena S ·
    • Flag

    I think it's tacky ...I am getting married for the 2nd time ...my aunt wants to give me a shower...I told her absolutely not ..You should only go to that well once

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  • M
    Master May 2014
    MizizAngi ·
    • Flag

    For different genders and/or long periods of time between children, I'm OK with them. I usually just bring diapers anyway.

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  • Tiffany Nash
    Master August 2014
    Tiffany Nash ·
    • Flag

    I have two kids, both had baby showers. One girl and One boy. 4 years apart. I didn't have anything for my son because most of it was donated after my daughter grew out of it (crib, stroller, etc) I wasn't going to hold onto it until my next child came. With my circle of friends, we don't get high priced items either because they can't afford to gift things like that.

    • Reply
  • Dani
    Super December 2014
    Dani ·
    • Flag

    I think it depends, you could be having a different gendered child or they are so far apart the parents no longer have the baby equipment.

    I've always thought the idea was to shower new parents not only with gifts but with love, advice, and show that you care. I understand some people are greedy and just want new things but others might actually need items. My BM is having a sprinkle. She has a 1 year old girl and she'll need boy clothes if she has a boy. Other than that we are encouraging diapers, wipes, or a special book.

    • Reply
  • JanuaryWedding
    Super January 2016
    JanuaryWedding ·
    • Flag

    I've come around a bit with my way of thinking on this. At first I was all "So tacky and gift grabby!" But now I can see having a "sprinkle" for a new gender. That's the only exception I think is ok. My friend from work had one for her second which is the same gender. Luckily I was out of town the day it was hosted. But I probably would have found a reason not to go.

    • Reply
  • L + R
    Master September 2014
    L + R ·
    • Flag

    Thanks for all your opinions. Hopefully her BFFs outlook towards a second gathering (I don't think she even had a shower for her first) doesn't set the tone for the rest of her potential guests. I know she doesn't have her previous child's equipment anymore, but I know she's not expecting anything like that, either. I was going to do something small anyway as she won't have more than ten guests-but should I specify what type of gathering it is such as shower, sprinkle, gathering, or can I just invite them to celebrate and not get into calling the event something specific?

    • Reply
  • Jess
    Master May 2015
    Jess ·
    • Flag

    Traditionally, it's only for a first child, but if the second child is a different gender, I wouldn't be too offended by it. A "sprinkle" would be more appropriate though.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Master May 2013
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    I never thought about it lol. Thinking back, I have attended baby showers for the second baby. My mom had my brother when I was 17...he was an oopsie baby. At that point in life, she had gotten rid of all the baby stuff. She had three separate showers for him alone. One was a surprise. She's just popular like that though.

    • Reply
  • Lara
    Master July 2015
    Lara ·
    • Flag

    Isn't a shower thrown by friends and family (bridal and baby)? that being said, if someone's family or friends want to throw them a shower for a second baby, how is that tacky? I think it's tacky to throw yourself a shower. This is my FH's second wedding, so should we not have it? I sure hope not!

    • Reply
  • L + R
    Master September 2014
    L + R ·
    • Flag

    Good points y'all. Thanks.

    • Reply
  • M
    Master December 2014
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    I've never heard of this before. I don't see the problem with a baby shower for each child.

    • Reply
  • JaKLyn
    Master November 2015
    JaKLyn ·
    • Flag

    My FSIL had a diaper party/gender reveal for their second child. They did the think at one time and since it was on a Saturday during football season they had it football themed and had the game on for the party. The only thing I didn't agree with is that they did a drawing for a $50 gift card. To be entered in the drawing you had to bring diapers to be entered in the drawing. It just seemed a little grabby to me the way they had it worded on the invites.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    VIP September 2014
    Lisa ·
    • Flag

    I don't think a full on, all out baby shower is appropriote for second or third children. Unless the children are born like 10 years apart in which case the parents probably don't have any of the baby stuff from their first born! For second children, I think parents should have a "sprinkle" or something of the kind where they celebrate the child but don't have crazy registries etc...I think diaper parties are the way to go for second children!

    • Reply
  • Mrs. F-u-...
    Master December 2014
    Mrs. F-u-... ·
    • Flag

    I believe a baby "sprinkle" is more common when the gender is different than the first. Unless there was a huge gap in age in children, then a second baby shower is totally OK.

    ETA: you should be fine not specifying shower vs sprinkle - if she only registers for small things, I would think people would get the hint.

    • Reply
  • ValZtoB
    Master March 2015
    ValZtoB ·
    • Flag

    I'm pretty go with the flow about these things. That being said, someone always has to push the envelope. I received a FB invite to a shower for a 5th child. It was sent to 306 people by the mother herself. It included a registry of big ticket items. The children are 6, 5, 3, barely 2 and newborn and both genders. There was a second registry for a tattoo parlor so she could update her ink to include the new baby. THAT is tacky.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.F!!!
    Expert June 2015
    Mrs.F!!! ·
    • Flag

    I've always been told showers are only for the first. Anything beyond that appears as a gift grab, especially since it is customary (at least in my family) to give a gift when the baby is born for every baby.

    • Reply
  • Angie
    VIP August 2015
    Angie ·
    • Flag

    In my family it is appropriate ONLY if the 2nd child is a different gender. My sister had a baby shower for her son, then 7 years later for her daughter. We threw my fw's brother and sis-n-law a baby shower and they didn't know the gender. They waited till "he" was born to find out. In that case I would NOT throw them another baby shower, even if it was a girl. Because all of the gifts they received were gender neutral. Not to mention we spent big bucks on it for only a few people to show up...ugh. They also had a baby shower with "her" family. So really they already got 2 baby showers.

    • Reply
  • OG Ruth
    Master October 2015
    OG Ruth ·
    • Flag

    Traditionally it's only one shower for the first child. Which I always thought was dumb.

    My sister didn't have a shower for her first child due to miscommunication between our mom and her MIL. So when she got pregnant with baby #2, I started planning her shower right away. She loved it because she didn't think she was going to have one because it was her second child.

    • Reply

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