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L + R
Master September 2014

NWR: Baby Shower for 2nd child?

L + R, on November 10, 2014 at 6:53 PM

Posted in Married Life 61

I have a friend who is currently pregnant with her 2nd, and her very best friend told her flat out she wasn't hosting a baby shower for her and said child because it is tacky. The baby is not the same gender as the first so i was a bit taken aback by this. Thoughts?

I have a friend who is currently pregnant with her 2nd, and her very best friend told her flat out she wasn't hosting a baby shower for her and said child because it is tacky. The baby is not the same gender as the first so i was a bit taken aback by this. Thoughts?

61 Comments

  • Elle
    Master March 2015
    Elle ·
    • Flag

    This is the first I'm hearing of this being a problem. Everyone I know has had a shower for each baby. I dont see showers as gift grabby. I see them as a way to get everyone together to celebrate. I alsways just get diapers either way.

    • Reply
  • Cheri
    VIP September 2015
    Cheri ·
    • Flag

    Not a big fan of second baby showers, I didn't have one with my second child and I don't generally attend them but I will send a gift because I think all babeis should be celebrated but I won't go out of my way to attend the shower.

    • Reply
  • Ally
    VIP October 2014
    Ally ·
    • Flag

    I would happily go to a second baby shower.....people are so nutso about this kind of crap when it really isn't that big of a deal.

    with my cousin's second baby they just had a 'diaper shower' but i would have gone to a full blown baby shower either way.

    • Reply
  • Leanne
    VIP April 2017
    Leanne ·
    • Flag

    It's funny, because I didn't have one for my first and had one for my second when he was about 5 months old. And they were 5 years apart so all my "big ticket" items had been donated. My shower was more of a meet and greet my son then a shower

    • Reply
  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
    • Flag

    3 of my best friends are married and have 2 children. We had a "sprinkle" for 2 of the 3 friends. They did not register and friends brought things like diapers, personalized gifts with the baby's name, or clothes. It was less of a shower and more of an excuse to get together and celebrate such an exciting time in a good friend's life, and a new life!!

    • Reply
  • Alana
    Devoted October 2014
    Alana ·
    • Flag

    If it's a different gender then I consider it OK to have a "sprinkle". If it offends you..don't go.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    VIP September 2014
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    Where is a "sprinkle" done? I have never heard of that before.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Savvy July 2015
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    One of my friend's had a second baby shower for her second that she threw herself. And it was to help her get started with some of the smaller stuff (clothes and diapers). However, it was only for very close friends and family. It wasn't anything like the first. I don't think it is tacky, as long as she throws it and doesn't expect a lot since, like mentioned by other people, she should already have the majority of the larger items.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    ^^ it is absolutely tacky to throw a shower for yourself, I'm sorry.

    In my circle, baby showers are done for the first child only. I have never been to a shower for a second child or beyond, and I think that is appropriate given the parents already have the big ticket items.

    And this reasoning of "every baby deserves to be celebrated" for baby showers is kind of ridiculous since the baby hasn't even been born yet. People can give the couple gifts and best wishes anytime they want. The baby will be celebrated when he/she is born and celebrated on the first birthday and every birthday and milestone after that. There will no shortage of celebrating the child. I don't think a lack of shower means the baby isn't being celebrated.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs W.
    Devoted June 2014
    FutureMrs W. ·
    • Flag

    Only first child! My sister in law threw herself a baby shower for her second child and both of her`s were boys.

    • Reply
  • LadyMonk
    Master September 2014
    LadyMonk ·
    • Flag

    I think it is a bit tacky to have a shower for your second baby, but guests have the right to choose to attend or not. Since one doesn't host their own showers, it's still possible that someone would throw a shower for parents even if it was their second child-- and I wouldn't hold it against the parents or hosts in anyway. Have a fun get together that isn't a shower, instead.

    • Reply
  • CeCe
    Master May 2014
    CeCe ·
    • Flag

    From what I have learned you should never host your own (period - first or second child) or expect anyone else to host a second baby shower for you - that's when it is tacky. Now if someone else really wants to host a baby shower for you, then by all means let them. That's my feelings about it.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    May 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    You never host your own shower for any event.

    • Reply
  • L + R
    Master September 2014
    L + R ·
    • Flag

    .... yeah, I'm not hosting my own. LOL

    I checked her registry. It's very subtle, consisting of only a few extra clothes and supplies, mostly diapers. She did add a small swing for $70, which kinda concerns me, but I'm having a ball with this planning process. She's made a list of 13 invitees. I've got my work cut out for me here, with just one month until date. I don't think I'll specify what type of event it is--based upon her registry, she is looking for a shower. I am just concerned on her friend's opinion of the entire thing. She also didn't bother to invite her in-laws, in which I had expected.

    • Reply
  • cardiacRN
    Dedicated May 2015
    cardiacRN ·
    • Flag

    It's definitely tacky to have another baby shower for a second baby, regardless of gender. Chances are, at the first shower, the mom-to-be received all/most of the big gifts--car seat, stroller, crib, changing-table, whatever else! Basically, the only thing that can be different with different gendered babies is the clothes people buy them. Chances are, the mom-to-be with her second baby will be showered with new baby clothes and whatnot from family members without the need of a second shower.

    • Reply
  • Snarky
    Master September 2014
    Snarky ·
    • Flag

    It may be a regional thing. My SIL had a "sprinkle" for her third child who was the first girl. I don't think anyone really blinked an eye at it.

    • Reply
  • sierra
    Super December 2015
    sierra ·
    • Flag

    In my area and among my circle, a second shower is considered tacky, but so is having a conventional wedding for a second marriage. But there are so many different opinions on this subject. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Even though some might think it's tacky, others will likely not have a second thought about it. I had a coworker recently who had 4 showers for her first born. I thought it was extremely gift grabby, and very awkward.

    • Reply
  • Jillian
    Master May 2015
    Jillian ·
    • Flag

    Haven't really thought of this. I guess I've really only seen a baby shower for a first child. I guess I could see a second if it's a different gender, however I don't think they should re-register for big items. I get gender related items and maybe new bottles, clothes, things they need that got lost/thrown out, but not the big items. That would be my opinion. I agree though if I was invited I would get a gift still and go enjoy time with friends.

    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Expert November 2014
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I've seen it before but am not a fan at all! You get one shower, make it count people!!

    • Reply
  • sierra
    Super December 2015
    sierra ·
    • Flag

    I mean, a shower is to get stuff ready for the baby, right? I'm guessing if a couple is having a second child they should probably have their finances in order enough to buy that kind of stuff themselves. I could see throwing a party to celebrate a pregnancy, but as far as a baby shower goes I don't think I'd do it. That's just me, though.

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