not having my parents at my wedding?!?!

Gaby That's horrible! Why don't you explain to them, really sit down and talk to them about why you are choosing what you are doing. I'm sure they will get more used to the idea as time goes on. In the end if they're still not supporting you there's nothing more you can do as heartbreaking as that is. You have to do what makes you happy even if they are your parents. Just try and really explain it to them and tell them how much it means to you to have their support. They'll either come around or they won't but in the end you have to do what's right for you. I hope everything works out.

Thanks so much. u r so right...i guess im just stressed but it their choice at the end of the day.. thanks so much brette!!

You're welcome I hope everything works out!

Ohh Gaby... I am truely sorry.. I agree with Brette just explain why.. My FH is Catholic and I'm Gnostic and we too are having an outdoors ceremony... so many religions are so similar in so many ways but many people only believe that their faith is the only way to heaven and blind about other faiths.. I hope all works out for you my prayers go out to you..

I even have my own problem my FIL's have no idea that I even exist and wont know till we walk into their home in Germany in April when I go to visit my FH... so not sure how they will be as well with me not being Catholic..

Good Luck hun..

Thats just heartbreaking. Hopefully they will come around and see that love holds no bounds.

So sorry to hear this. I have a very good friend who's mother had an issue with her not getting married in their church. She got married in a barn with a JP. She had a long talk with her and pretty much said this is my day and i want to get married how i have always dreamed of. She told her she was an important part of her life and she wanted her to help with it, because it was also part of her dream wedding. Her mom got over her issues after the talk. I hope yours can too!!

I have the oppisite situation...FH is catholic and im baptist. my family is not all that religious as in they will be upset if its not in a church...we havent talked to our families that much about the plans yet. @Brooklynne i hope that i have the same luck

Are you a practicing Catholic? Do you plan to convert to your FH's religion? Is he a practicing Baptist? I'm just wondering if you can smooth things over long enough for the ceremony to be harmonious or are you planning to leave your parents' religion? I have some experience with mixed religion relationships so I'm curious as to your attitude before I give you any advice on how to proceed.

This is so unfortunate. Sometimes people get so caught up in their "religion" that they have no tolerance for anyone to have differing beliefs. Denominational differences really serves no purpose. Catholics and Baptist both believe in the same God. Too bad folks can't learn to focus on the similarities instead of fighting about the minute differences. Hopefully your parents will come around but I'm less concerned about that and more concerned about whether you and your FH have discussed how your different religious upbringings will effect your relationship (if at all)? And have you discussed what your kids will be taught? These things IMO are more imporant than getting parental buy-in b/c you and your FH are starting a new nuclear unit now and your opinions have to be the most important ones. Nobody should get a vote in your marriage except you and your husband.

Im Catholic but dont practice it much. i just believe religion is a way we explain things but i really just believe in God...so ive been going to a baptist church while he is gone so i can learn a lil more than it. thanks so much ladies....ugh...

We are both Catholic and having an outdoor wedding, we are just going to have our marriage blessed later

Your parents will definitely come around. Trust me. My parents were very apprehensive when I told them I was getting married, and that was shocking since I always imagined my parents to be happy while I'm planning to get married. They had selfish visions of me graduating college before getting married - they had their view and map of what my life should be. Well, it turns out I will live my life the way I see best, and Fh and I knew exactly what we wanted. We continued our plans, without any contact from parents; they were too stubborn to even talk to us.

Finally this weekend when everyone had started getting excited about the wedding at a family party, my mom asked to hear about all of the wedding plans and even took me shoe shopping today. She even decided to go with to get my dress fitted. =)

All in all, your parents will realize that they would rather be a part of your wedding and your life even if it's not exactly how they had pictured it themselves.

So sorry gaby. i agree with the other ladies, you need to sit down and have a talk with your parents and explain to them this is your day and how important it is for them to be there to support you. hope it all works out

Don't push it. I wouldn't "sit down and have a talk" right now. You've got time. Let them get used to the idea. At least your parents aren't saying they won't come! Let them deal with losing the dream of a Church wedding. No amount of "talking" is going to make them "happy" that you aren't marrying a Catholic. The best you can hope for is acceptance. Could you incorporate some Catholic tradition that might please them? Could you carry a rosary with your bouquet, have a soloist sing Ave Maria, or something else you know your parents would like? He's marrying your family and you are marrying his, whether you know it now or not. How will you raise the children? (That's always a big issue for parents.) Some Southern Baptists are openly hostile to Catholics, and that may be in the back of their minds. Just let it lie for awhile. If they want to talk about it, I wouldn't get defensive or mad. Just try to keep things as smooth as possible. Good Luck!

I'm so very sorry your parents are acting this way. I hope they realize that it's not like you're marrying an atheist. I wish you guys the best.

First of all, even if you were marrying an atheist, your parents have an obligation to love and support your choices. @kshively, we atheists are people too; you say it as if we were serial killer.

But for Gaby, I *do* suggest you have a talk with your parents. You might say something along the lines of: "Mom, Dad, I completely understand that this is hard for you. It's got to be hard for any parent to watch their child make decisions that they themselves would not have made. But I've learned a lot of things from you about what it means to be a great parent--things that I know will make ME a great parent when that time comes for me. And one of the things I've learned from you is that even when parents don't agree with the choices their child has made, they support that child anyway. I love you so much, and your support is really important to me. Please don't let this come between us."

@ Deborah; I'm sorry, I did not mean it that way.

You might have to remind your parents that being a christian is to be caring and to love one another. Even if they don't believe in something it is not their place to judge, they should know who gets to do that. Besides you are having a religious wedding right? (I'm assuming because of the pastor). As long as its under God they shouldn't care. Not one christian denomanation is closer to getting to hevan than the other.

Man oh man just tell them how you feel and i'm sorry no ofence to anyone but why should the reglious stand point be the main foce of the wedding shouldn't it be the bride and the groom celbriting thier love for one anther not what relgous backround they are

I am sorry, what a tough situation. I could not imagine my parents not being there for me and/or not being overly happy and excited for me. But c'mon people, we live in the freaking United States where we can be whatever religion we want to be, or have none at all. Who cares what title you've chosen to be? UGH! I don't get it at all. Personally, I'd just ignore your Mom's input on the situation and just go on planning your wedding. I think they will come around.