NOT Having an Open Bar at Our Formal Wedding... Thoughts?

If you want your guests to stay and party with you guys until the end of the reception don't do a cash bar. I recently attended a wedding where the bar switched to catch an hour before the reception ended. Everyone left once the bar was cash. Plus it's rude to make your guests open their wallets at your wedding.

People are not going to care that your wedding is "unique" if they have to pay for their drinks. I think it's very rude to have a cash bar, and would cut anything else unnecessary (photobooth, frames, etc) until you can afford it.

We did beer and wine all night which worked, you could also consider just doing that for the whole night.

What does being over 20 have to do with being bitter? Bitter about what?

I agree this sounds confusing to guests. We are doing a limited bar with beer, wine, and a signature cocktail. Ours is consumption based (except for the big batch signature drink), and our estimate for around 85 people for 4.5 hours is approx $1100 including the bartender and all glassware, napkins etc. Once we really got into planning, this was a priority to us. So it didn't really matter the cost, we would have cut back elsewhere to pay for it. Cash bars are really just not ok and that one thing can make or break your whole event.

@Hanna, I'm only 23, and even at 20, I would have expected a wedding to have alcohol - it's proper hosting etiquette for an evening wedding.

Now that being said, I have been to weddings without alcohol in 2 special circumstances: 1) a morning wedding and 2) a wedding of an AA couple.

I'd much rather have an open bar than a photo booth with frames

At 20 I was legally allowed to drink and I wouldn't have gone to a wedding like this. Also, I've never gone to a wedding like this.

Instead of doing cash bar, maybe just offer beer and wine for the evening? That way your guests will still have the option to partake if they so wish. I wouldn't upgrade to mignon and just keep the chicken ( I think most ppl like chicken) and while photo booths are fun I'd rather have a couple of drinks. If you really wanted a photo booth I've seen several threads on here about making a diy one.

There are a bunch of cheaper options than a full, open bar:

1. Host wine and beer throughout the night

2. Do a consumption bar, which is technically a cash bar but you pick up the tab. Calculate out how many people will drink (say half, so maybe 70 out of your 135 since you said you have many non drinkers). Get a drink price list from your venue. Average it out. Calculate 5 drinks, estimate, over 4 hours. If the average drink is $10, that is $50 pp * 70 people. Don't forget bartender tips.

Sometimes, consumption can be more than just adding an open bar. My open bar was $26 per person, which could be cheaper than the above math. Just figure out the math and decide what makes more sense.

Beer and wine may also be cheaper, it may be $30 pp open bar but $15 pp with just beer and wine. Talk to your venue.

As a guest, I would be super confused going to a bar and getting a free drink only to have to pay later. No amount of picture frames or photo booth would make up for that. Especially if I had to travel to the wedding and spent money on a room. If you cut those items and use them for your alcohol, then you should be better shape.

Wow, I wasn't expecting this much feedback, both good and bad. I appreciate those that were kind in their approach. I understand the sentimentality, I think for my FH it's hard for him to wrap his head around it because his family doesn't drink.

With taking the photobooth and frames out, that's about $600 savings there, but will need to find and pinch for the rest of it, I suppose. Asking my venue now about consumption options, and beer and wine only options. They provide the alcohol, and have a strict policy about bringing outside bottles in. Only wine and champagne can be brought in for meal service (which is already included in our package) and there's a $16 corking fee per bottle.

We are doing a consumption bar and I agree with others that this sound like a good idea for you too OP.

@unawarepandabear I used your calculation method and I came up with a very different sum than you did. Did I do something wrong? I'm trying to figure out if we roughly estimated enough for our own bar. Using OPs numbers: 135 guests x 5 (2 drinks first hour + 3 drinks for the remaining time) x $7 per drink= $4725.

I've been to weddings that have an open bar for the first hour or so and then it switched to a cash bar. There wasn't anything confusing about it.

That said, I think its tacky and not practical. Either open bar or limited choices(wine/beer or beer and signature drinks) is what I'd do.

Thank you, Sarah, I wasn't concerned so much about the confusing factor of it, but rather the financial factor of it, so I appreciate that lol.

We are over budget as is, just wanted to see if this was something I really needed to stick my neck out for to insist we throw $5K more into the mix despite already being over budget. The last thing I want to do is be a bad host. I guess, because I'm a wine drinker and have only 2-3 glasses in a night, my mom is a recovering alcoholic, and his family doesn't drink, FH and I both take note of the personal touches at weddings we go to, rather than the alcohol available. But it makes sense! Others have different views than us.

$16 corking fee per bottle??!! Is that normal?

Beer/wine only plus maybe a signature drink would be just fine, if you are looking to cut back on the cost. Thank you for being considerate of the advice given, it is certainly refreshing to see.

For upwards of 125 guests, even a consumption bar is going to be several thousand dollars, I'd guess. Maybe cut your guest list.

There's nothing formal about making your guests pay. No one cares about photo booths or random decor... they care about booze.

I'm glad you are reaching out to your venue.

Cash bar people: be like Sarah.

@AL - Cutting her guest list if she's already sent out save the date is much more rude than not providing alcohol the entirety of the evening.

Oh, good point. Yeah, I'd do beer and wine all night then.