Devoted July 2018

No thank you cards (vent)

IdahoBride, on July 16, 2017 at 4:49 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 71

This has nothing to do with my wedding but I was just talking to my FH and last summer we went to a wedding for a friend and got the couple a nice gift. This was over a year ago and we never got a thank you. Now that I am planning my own wedding it really irks me. I've always been the type of person...

This has nothing to do with my wedding but I was just talking to my FH and last summer we went to a wedding for a friend and got the couple a nice gift. This was over a year ago and we never got a thank you. Now that I am planning my own wedding it really irks me. I've always been the type of person that writes thank yous for EVERYTHING. Just a vent that was bugging me.


  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
    • Flag

    Funny how some people can take the time to endorse the check but not the thank you note!

    • Reply
  • Lindsey
    VIP June 2018
    Lindsey ·
    • Flag

    We are doing hand written notes. Totally rude to not send anything !

    • Reply
  • Julia
    Devoted September 2017
    Julia ·
    • Flag

    Yeah that is annoying. I got my cousin a bunch of nice baby shower gifts and got no thank you from his gf. Surprisingly, cuz she's a sweet girl. Maybe just young and naive.

    • Reply
  • Carolyn
    Super September 2017
    Carolyn ·
    • Flag

    I agree with some of the PP claiming that thank you cards may be getting phased out. I've heard a lot of my friends (we are in the mid 20s crowd) say that they thanked the person at whatever event and that was enough. I'm glad my mother sat me down to make me write thank you cards now.

    • Reply
  • ashlynnisabella
    Devoted December 2017
    ashlynnisabella ·
    • Flag

    I went to a wedding last year, & didn't even think about not getting a card until this post. They invited me to their wedding that they spent a lot of money on, and I had a really good time. They made sure to come around and talk to all the guests and say how happy they were that everyone came. I can't imagine keeping tabs on thank you cards or not going to my friends' events just because I didn't think I'd get a piece of paper from it. Besides, those cards are not personal most of the time. What makes you feel special about getting a piece of paper with a generic message on it that was sent to everyone who came to the wedding? I'd rather speak to them in person at the wedding. I'm probably going to send some kind of thank you's, but I could care less if I get one.

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  • Future Mrs. T
    Expert May 2018
    Future Mrs. T ·
    • Flag

    Yanno what - this post just made me realize that I've been to three weddings and didn't get thank you notes. WTF.

    I just had an engagement party and people received my thank you notes four days after the party lol. But I am also OCD.

    • Reply
  • LittleOne
    Dedicated April 2019
    LittleOne ·
    • Flag

    Honestly I've been to 4 weddings in the last year and haven't received a thank you for any of them. It makes me so mad.

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  • Wanda
    Super February 2018
    Wanda ·
    • Flag

    Like many PPs, I really don't keep tabs on whether I get a TY card or not, but thinking back, we didn't get one from his niece (2 yrs ago) or one of his co-workers (last winter). In contrast, we went to a baby shower for a co-worker of mine, and I do remember that we got a Thank You for that gift.

    We'll be sending Thank Yous for any gift we do receive.

    • Reply
  • CoffeeNColor
    Master August 2017
    CoffeeNColor ·
    • Flag

    My friend got married 10/2015. Sent me an email asking for my address. Never got a thank you note. A year later in a phone call, she had said "we still haven't gotten around to our thank you card."


    • Reply
  • Sonya
    Beginner August 2017
    Sonya ·
    • Flag

    I went to 4 weddings last year and only got a thank you card from one of them. Pretty disappointing.

    • Reply
  • New
    VIP May 2017
    New ·
    • Flag

    Last year a friend of mine got married. I attended the bridal shower with a gift and we also attending the wedding (cash gift).

    There was a cash bar and we bought our own dinners at the wedding. I now consider this the poster child for what not to do.

    Still no thank you.

    I find this rude and unacceptable and she's not a millennial either, so the excuse of being young just doesn't fly.

    • Reply
  • WW User
    VIP October 2017
    WW User ·
    • Flag

    This is such a pet peeve of mine. It is so rude.

    I went to a BS in April, their wedding was in June (I couldn't go), and she didn't send shower thank you's yet - yep, even though her WEDDING has now passed. So rude!

    • Reply
  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
    • Flag

    For those of you wondering if it's "dated" because you haven't seen them. No, it's not dated, it fucking rude.

    I wrote all the thank you cards for my son's shower and they were sent out within a week. That was with a two and a half month old baby. So, yeah, no excuse.

    • Reply
  • ReallyAReeves
    Dedicated July 2017
    ReallyAReeves ·
    • Flag

    I totally understand. My cousins wedding was a year ago this weekend and I just received a thank you from them. It was typed up and printed out so they sent the same one to everyone.

    I found it a little funny to be honest!

    • Reply
  • Sunshine
    VIP September 2017
    Sunshine ·
    • Flag

    It's extremely rude. I'm still waiting on a thank you from a wedding I went to last May and 2 July's ago.

    Idaho - where in Idaho are you?? And where are you getting married? I am an Idaho bride as well!

    • Reply
  • chelle
    Devoted August 2017
    chelle ·
    • Flag

    Thank you cards are a must for etiquette so I will send them out but FH's aunt told us we better not send her a thank you card because she knows that we appreciate the gift and we are wasting our money on something that will immediately go into the trash

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Dedicated October 2017
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    I totally understand. My shower was last Sunday and I am getting twitchy waiting for the thank you notes I ordered to arrive so I can hand write them and send them out. I know I'm nuts but it's still driving my crazy lol! A handwritten thank you is just good manners.

    • Reply
  • Sos0033
    VIP September 2017
    Sos0033 ·
    • Flag

    Out of about 6 or 7 weddings we've been to in the last 3 years, we've gotten 2 thank you cards. 1 of those was received 10 months after the wedding. Ironically enough, the thank you card we received in a timely manner (3 weeks after the wedding) was from a couple who had 300+ guests at their wedding and did their honeymoon right away. It's really not that hard!! The first time my FH met my parents (they had us over for dinner), he wrote them a thank you card. Call me old fashioned, but I would also never DARE not hand-write a thank you card.

    • Reply
  • Brittney
    Devoted October 2017
    Brittney ·
    • Flag

    My sister and MOH never sent thank you's for their wedding. I could just never do that

    • Reply
  • lyla
    Master July 2017
    lyla ·
    • Flag

    FH and I gave $500 to a couple's honeyfund and flew to Hawaii for their wedding. No thank you at all. FH couldn't care less, but it really bugged me!

    • Reply

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