IdahoBride
Devoted July 2018

No thank you cards (vent)

IdahoBride, on July 16, 2017 at 4:49 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 71
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This has nothing to do with my wedding but I was just talking to my FH and last summer we went to a wedding for a friend and got the couple a nice gift. This was over a year ago and we never got a thank you. Now that I am planning my own wedding it really irks me. I've always been the type of person that writes thank yous for EVERYTHING. Just a vent that was bugging me.

71 Comments

Latest activity by Samantha, on May 1, 2021 at 7:10 AM
  • C
    Savvy March 2019
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    My best friend (I was the moh) actually brought hers on her honeymoon to fill them out! She hand wrote almost 100 thank you cards! So i would feel the same way that you do!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    That is completely rude. I write TY's for everything too, lol....There is nothing as thoughtful as a hand written note.

    • Reply
  • Klaudia
    Dedicated October 2017
    Klaudia ·
    • Flag

    I know how you feel. My FH and I went to a wedding in January that was very disappointing. Gave the couple a nice gift, and nothing from them. Disappointment all around.

    • Reply
  • DrJames
    Devoted September 2017
    DrJames ·
    • Flag

    I wonder if it's starting to be seen as dated to write them. I have been to 5 weddings over the last couple of years, and didn't receive a thank you card from 3 of the couples. That said, I agree--a card to say thank you is the least one can do to show appreciation.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
    • Flag

    Oh my goodness! Hell I wrote thank you notes for my son's birthday gifts from friends that attended his party!

    Maybe we're all just super polite? Lol

    • Reply
  • PerfectlyPolin
    VIP September 2017
    PerfectlyPolin ·
    • Flag

    I never got a thank you note from a very good friends wedding (now my MOH) and of course never said anything. I thought it was odd but assumed she was very busy. At one point she mentioned her thank you cards and I said I didn't get it to which she burst into tears. She said she sent it and can't believe we didn't get it. She was mortified and worried about how many other people didn't get theirs. Don't let it get to you too much. It could be a post office error.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Devoted September 2017
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    Totally get it, we went to a wedding once and they sent a generic thank you that was printed on the card.

    • Reply
  • IdahoBride
    Devoted July 2018
    IdahoBride ·
    • Flag

    Oh no! @PerfectlyPolin that's a good point. I definitely wouldn't ask her, but I'll look at it that way, hopefully that is what happened!

    • Reply
  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
    • Flag

    Maybe ask if they received the gift -- giving them the benefit of the doubt and a prod.

    • Reply
  • AdventuresofRuth
    VIP October 2017
    AdventuresofRuth ·
    • Flag

    I have a related question - if someone sends a wedding gift (not wrapped) are you supposed to wait for the wedding to send a thank you note, or can I go ahead and send it?

    • Reply
  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
    • Flag

    When Brides and new Mothers don't write thank you notes, I blame their mothers who failed to impress upon them the importance of doing so. All gifts were hidden until a note was written when I was growing up.

    • Reply
  • MS. MACMEN
    VIP March 2018
    MS. MACMEN ·
    • Flag

    I'm with you,@Dr James. I was wondering if some people are trying to phase them out too! 3/4 weddings I attended or sent gifts to did not write a thank you note. I did get a thank you text from one though? Regardless, I am not into this trend. Handwritten note for sure!

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Devoted October 2017
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    So people (not ALL) wait for their photographers to get the pictures in order. A year is way to long but I've known some where it was a good couple of months for that reason alone.

    ETA : spelling

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.Lucas
    VIP September 2018
    FutureMrs.Lucas ·
    • Flag

    This drives me crazy!! FH and I have been to I think 5 or 6 weddings over the past 3 years and not a single one of them sent us a thank you card!! I find it terribly rude and especially we ordered a couple of the gifts online and had them sent to the couple so I hate not knowing if they received them or not! I will be sending thank you cards as soon as I get the gifts! I understand they may need a few months or something if they are waiting for a picture or something but a year is way too long and not sending one at all is rude!

    • Reply
  • Red2018
    VIP August 2018
    Red2018 ·
    • Flag

    FH's cousin got married last august and we got a thank you note in June. I was shocked we even got one

    • Reply
  • MrsVtoBe
    Devoted January 2018
    MrsVtoBe ·
    • Flag

    I completely understand. Some very good friends of ours got married 2 and 1/2 years ago and we never received a thank you note. To this day, and more so since we started planning, it still bothers me a little. We try to give them the benefit of the doubt and perhaps our card was missing from the gift and they didn't know it was from us. However, if that's the case, then they think we got them nothing! Oh well, it's not worth mentioning and we are all still great friends despite the lack of thank you card for their wedding gift.

    • Reply
  • MnmsMonique
    Super June 2018
    MnmsMonique ·
    • Flag

    One wedding I went to, the thank you note came almost a year later.

    • Reply
  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·
    • Flag

    Yea....IMO, TU cards really need to be handwritten & in the mail within 2-3 months. I'm totally using address labels, though : )

    • Reply
  • Becky-Jo
    Devoted May 2017
    Becky-Jo ·
    • Flag

    We sent thank you's a month and a half after the wedding ( we did a 2 and half week honeymoon and I ordered thanks yous from vistaprint when we got back) and felt like shit cause it took us so long. I can't image not sending thank you at all! Although, I'm still waiting for a thank you for a wedding we went to last October. Haha

    • Reply
  • MandMHoagland
    Expert October 2017
    MandMHoagland ·
    • Flag

    Understand completely! I'm waiting on a thank you card from a shower that happened a month before a wedding from this past May. As well as a thank you for the wedding gift.

    If you get a gift in the mail there is no reason why a thank you can't be sent.

    • Reply

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