IdahoBride
Devoted July 2018

No thank you cards (vent)

IdahoBride, on July 16, 2017 at 4:49 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 71

This has nothing to do with my wedding but I was just talking to my FH and last summer we went to a wedding for a friend and got the couple a nice gift. This was over a year ago and we never got a thank you. Now that I am planning my own wedding it really irks me. I've always been the type of person...

This has nothing to do with my wedding but I was just talking to my FH and last summer we went to a wedding for a friend and got the couple a nice gift. This was over a year ago and we never got a thank you. Now that I am planning my own wedding it really irks me. I've always been the type of person that writes thank yous for EVERYTHING. Just a vent that was bugging me.

71 Comments

  • EM
    Master April 2017
    EM ·
    • Flag

    We waited until we got our professional pics back (which took almost 10 weeks...we were supposed to get them in 6 which is why we decided to wait and use them for thank you's). We ordered them a few days after we received them and decided on a design we liked. We should receive them on Thursday and I plan to have them all in the mail on Saturday lol. It's literally keeping me up at night that they haven't been sent yet! Agh. I'm still within the acceptable window but it's still totally stressing me out lol.

    • Reply
  • The-New-Mrs-K
    Expert July 2017
    The-New-Mrs-K ·
    • Flag

    I am still waiting on one for a wedding from 2014. We got her a gift AND she had me work as a friendor. Got her a baby shower gift 9 months after the wedding. No thank you for that gift, either. It still bothers me. I sent her thank you for the bridal shower gift within a few days of receiving it.

    • Reply
  • augustlawbride
    Expert August 2017
    augustlawbride ·
    • Flag

    Same thing

    I know the old rule said a year, but in this day and age I start to roll my eyes after 3 to 6 months. I'm still waiting on a thank you note for a wedding in January too. (HS friend and it required travel and gave a gift despite still being in school.) My mom is still waiting on one from an October wedding.

    #Humblebrag but I got all my TYs for church shower out in a week and several of the little old ladies complimented my mother on how well she had raised as they were still waiting on TYs from fall brides.

    • Reply
  • Leeann
    Super August 2017
    Leeann ·
    • Flag

    So freaking rude. Couples have until a year to write thank you notes, but since it was after a year, they have no excuse. I went to the wedding of my fiancee's best friend and the bride actually said at the wedding, "Thank you all! You know how I am about things, so I probably will forget to write thank you notes. Lolz." This is a grown woman and her husband. I was so embarrassed for them. Writing a thank you note literally takes 5 minutes and a 45 cent Forever stamp.

    • Reply
  • pammat
    VIP October 2017
    pammat ·
    • Flag

    For me, the thank you isn't just a thank you, it's a return receipt for the gift.

    I hate having to ask if people got gifts I sent, but unless they write a thank you, there's no good other way to know for sure. Even tracking can be wrong. (The tracking on one of my Etsy orders still says in transit months later, even though I got the thing two days after I ordered it.)

    • Reply
  • PinkFlamingo
    Super October 2017
    PinkFlamingo ·
    • Flag

    I'm also a thank you note for everything kind of gal! It totally irks me when people don't send them. I too went to a wedding last summer (out of state) where the couple didn't send a TY. I still feel slightly bitter about it.

    • Reply
  • stephanie
    Super October 2017
    stephanie ·
    • Flag

    I send thank you notes for all gifts and actually think I've been unintentionally nudging people to step up their game, because recently I got a thank you note from FMIL for something for the first time - FH and I have been together 5+ years so I've written a lot of thank you notes for birthdays/Christmases in that time! Smiley smile

    Also I've been so overwhelmed by people's generosity even in helping me plan my wedding that after a trip to my hometown recently I felt compelled to write thank you notes to my mom, my dad (they are divorced), and my mom's friend, because they all spent so much time helping me figure out wedding stuff that weekend!

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Super June 2018
    Hannah ·
    • Flag

    The last two weddings I attended didn't send thank you cards. I thought it was rude AF. Hell if you don't want to send a formal card. A text or email would be nice.

    • Reply
  • FinallyMrsFlax
    Super August 2017
    FinallyMrsFlax ·
    • Flag

    I haven't received a thank you card from the last three weddings I've gone to. My fiancé and I will definitely be sending out thank you cards after our wedding. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    Yes, it's the appropriate response to a gift.

    I only care if the check hasn't been cashed. That's when I wonder if the couple ever received it.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    VIP July 2018
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    We joke around about how my mother hasn't written hers yet. For her wedding 12 years ago... luckily they only invited close family but it's still bad.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super September 2017
    Kelly ·
    • Flag

    I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't care about getting thank you cards. I have never noticed or kept tabs years later on whether or not I received one.

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated July 2018
    Leah ·
    • Flag

    To me, a thank you is a thank you, be it verbal or a fancy card. If it bugs you so much that they didn't send a card, maybe you should just tell them.

    • Reply
  • Tricia
    VIP October 2017
    Tricia ·
    • Flag

    I already started addressing my shower thank you. I don't know when my shower is but I know my office always does something so I addressed all those and the people I'm confident will attend my family shower. Huge time saver. And as rsvp come in I address a thank you. It bothers me not to get thank you out quickly. My engagement party was a Saturday the cards were mailed Monday.

    • Reply
  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
    • Flag

    We got one near Christmas for a beginning of April wedding. DH thought it was a Christmas card lol. Opened it up to find a sticker with a thank you note typed on it. Everyone got the same generic thank you 8 months later.

    • Reply
  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
    • Flag

    Perhaps the card was lost in the mail.

    • Reply
  • DandT715
    Super July 2017
    DandT715 ·
    • Flag

    It's so rude. I've also been to a few weddings where I never got a thank you card. My husband (so weird saying that now!) and I created an excel spread sheet of everyone who gave us a gift. We plan on getting thank you cards out ASAP.

    • Reply
  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
    • Flag

    I've been waiting 3 years for a thank you for a shower and wedding gift. Not holding my breath. It's one of the reasons I didn't go to the bride's baby shower.

    • Reply
  • Kristin
    Super August 2017
    Kristin ·
    • Flag

    Did you ask anyone else if they did not get a thank you as well? It may have been an oversight. Perhaps the card for your gift was misplaced in transportation and they were not aware you even got them anything.

    • Reply
  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
    • Flag

    It is one of my biggest pet peeves. No thank yous for Christmas or birthday gifts is not a big deal. Shower or wedding? Different story. To me, a month is the longest you should go.

    Still waiting on thank yous from a baby shower (April), wedding (May), and bridal shower (early June).

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics