No one wants to officiate our wedding.

OP, you're quickly losing my sympathy. And your story is not adding up. Have you said one good thing about this church? All we've heard is how they're awful to your fiancé, they treated your friend like dirt, you don't like who the church accepts, and heaven forbid they expect you to pay money to get married there!

So... why do you want to get married there?

Agree with @Laura- would not want to get married in a church that I felt treated me that poorly and that I disagreed with that strongly. Also, even though this was a few pages ago, as members of the church we got married in we still had to pay $500 to use the space as well as give a financial "gift" to our officiant who is our pastor at the church. Worth it, to us, because it was important to us to be married in our church and because our officiant was wonderful, but it definitely isn't free even as a member.

OP, I looked at your chapel's recommended vendors and saw Rev April. I think its a sign. Try Rev. April!

More and more I can see that your problems do not stem from being deaf (and I sympathize because I only have partial hearing and in only one ear) but your attitude. You spew hatred yet accuse others of it, you judge yet call others judgmental. You get advice but you spurn it and go on bashing.

Sorry, Sweetie, I don't think I would help you much either. And your fiance who says "F them?" Looks like some are saying it in return.

Like finds like, Hon, hope you simmer your culo down and find what you need.

Why would anyone be part of a church like that?

Update. My wedding for a deaf couple and their two witnesses (also deaf) went perfectly. I emailed them the ceremony script (which I normally don't do for our tiny ceremonies), they read along while Michael performed the ceremony, they signed the vows to each other, physically signed the license and all is legal and done.

You got a lot of advice, including finding a church that doesn't treat members in such a shitty way, and a fabulous officiant in LI.

Take some of it.

Honestly I can see why the church wouldn't want to marry your fiance there if that's his attitude. But I agree with others, I would find a better church.

I find it really inappropriate for you to lump sex offenders (i.e., criminals) together with people who have mental illness, addiction, and unmarried couples with children.

I didn't think this thread would have to go past like 20 comments, especially once Celia weighed in. This thread is getting really weird.

ETA: So the church shouldn't welcome people with mental illness and other issues/vices that they feel a seeking a relationship with God could help them with? Okay OP. Good luck getting people to be willing to help you with that kind of shitty attitude. Being deaf/hard of hearing doesn't give you license to be rude as fuck.

For the third time, why not just get married at his church? They obviously have some kind of accommodations worked out and it is a short drive. If they require that both parties to a marriage be church members (unusual but not unheard of) then just move and get married after you join the church. If you won't answer this than I am just going to assume this a wind up post and Reddit is leaking again.

I have one more question. You say your church is non denominational. If so are they part of Christian International. CI has it's own group of ASL and bilingual ministers. You do have to be an active member of a congregation. Being that your wedding is a little under 8 months away, from my experience faithfulness to attending discipleship classes would suffice. CI actually encourages all their minister to learn a different language and/or how to sign. My father just got ordained and is right now taking ASL classes.

However, like others have said, I think the problem here is you are not being receptive to help and a tad bit pushy.

Good Luck to you. I hope the situation works out.

I'm confused as to why you want a church wedding when you feel the way you do about your church.

I am so lost. I don't understand why you would want to get married at this church if you have nothing but negative things to say about it? I am also confused as to if you are in NYC or Rochester, NY. If FH is in Rochester and you are in NYC, I would be looking into Rochester since you state that they have a much larger deaf community than NYC. If you are in NYC then I would be looking into April, who has been suggested multiple times already.

Just jumping in to say that for someone with a strong want to have a religious godly ceremony, your attitude doesnt show it op.

Yes organized religion has issues. Every organized religion. That is a lot of the reason I no longer attend a service each sunday.

However, the solution isnt to condem the church and religion. I dont understand why you want to be married by these people you dont moreally agree with.

@Melody, the heart wants what the heart wants

Katy, I've read this entire thread, and initially, I was impressed with the level of support and advice you were given. For some reason, despite that support, you just seem to be getting more upset. At this point, and with all due respect, not being able to find an officiant doesn't seem to be your biggest problem. Your language is getting increasingly aggressive, and I'm choking on the way you labeled other parishioners with such disdain ("ignorant", "bullying", "porn addicts", "registered sex offenders", "liar", "druggies" -- and then the two groups that do not belong in the same group as sex offenders and porn addicts -- the mentally ill and families living without benefit of marriage).

I find your language so confusing -- "biblical marriage", "my sister in Christ", and then "F*ck Them!" The bible talks about the fruit a believer displays in their life, and if this church has nurtured this type of fruit in your life, perhaps it's time to find a church where the dregs of society are locked out -- although, if you recall, Jesus himself wouldn't attend a church like that. He went to those you've judged so harshly.

Long Island is a rather developed part of NY. There have to be churches out there who have interpreters for the deaf. I've visited plenty of churches that have them (as well as a deaf ministry).

^^^^If you heed no one else's advice (it appears you aren't), please pay attention to C'piece!

@Centerpiece you need to write an entire life advice book. Literally spot on 100% of the time, wedding related or not.

Despite the fact that I am a bit put off with how you are posting OP, I would also recommend the Sign Language Center, a nyc based sign language school. They may have recommendations of former students or teachers who are ordained to marry someone.

http://www.signlanguagecenter.com/index.php

So basically the church won't let your pastor marry you, you think they are bullies and ignorant, your FH says F them, but you still want to be married there. I read the thread and all the comments but somehow I think I'm missing something. It seems you are making the problem even bigger than it is.

And your attitude is horrible, I'm starting think that maybe the primary reason they turned you down.

I'm more impressed someone used the word "druggies" and aren't 12 years old.