No one wants to officiate our wedding.

If you don't mind my asking, what denomination are you? Different churches would have different rules

ETA: Typically local pastors are only allowed to perform rituals and rites within the walls of his/her appointed church. In some denominations, a bishop may be able to give special permission to allow a local pastor to perform a wedding outside of his/her appointed church.

Another option would be to hire another officiant and ask your ASL pastor to interpret. He can't legally sign your license, but he would be able to ensure everyone present is able to understand the service.

Sarah

Thank you. Yeah, that's true not all of them are like that. I just look down only at those churches who says require membership and blah blah.

Well, I am kind of in shock lately becsuse New York State has the largest Deaf population and Rochester, Ny being the largest Deaf population per capita in United States and not even one ASL officiant in NYC to marry the Deaf people outside of their church. Its just...........impossible to believe. Rochester has 8 churches serving for Deaf/HH and NyC should have a plenty but none of them can marry Deaf couple outside of church which is the most bullshit I have ever learned today....

MrsSkiToBe,

My fiance and I are just simple Christ believer. Not in the name of religion. My church used to be Baptist church but renamed Christian church....non-denomitional to be specific although my friend told me they still are "ingrained" baptist practice....i want nothing to do with fundamentalist or legalism or southern baptist practice officiant, period.

Thank you Sarah. I have a couple I'm working with right now and when I quoted them my fee, she emailed me back to ask why it cost so much for 30 minutes....

I've already spent close to four hours on the phone with her, her fiance and her parents and we aren't even in contract yet......

Everyone,

I found out that there are three well known vloggers/ASL Deaf ordained pastors have a license to travel out of states to officiate a Deaf couple's wedding but they live in Oklahoma, Kansas and Wisconsin. oh boy, should have alikes one or two here in NY state.

Ah. That is so frustrating then! I have some experience within my specific denomination, but I'm lost with unconnected churches!

I'd definitely look into hiring a qualified civil officiant then and ask your pastor to interpret. Like PP have stated, qualified might cost you a few hundred dollars, but they'll work with you to create a meaningful service. You could likely have your pastor offer prayers during it. The civil officiant would need to do the vows and sign the license since that's the legal part, but you could absolutely still celebrate your faith with the ceremony!

And you have checked with his church also? I didn't see anything about that. You guys could also just push this off until after you move if his church requires both parties to be members.

I've never heard of a church charging you to join. The Catholic church doesn't. Can you not just join to say you're a member?

@Laura it's not a charge to join, it's a charge to get married in that particular church.

MrsSkiToBe,

Um, ask my pastor to interpret...? How can he since he is Deaf?

GreeneBunny,

Ok I see....yeah...550 for this officsnt from thumbpick website who sent me a mail and 700 for the chapel. That's 1250 dollars.

Celia,

Nope, I don't make much money. My Deaf fiance and I dont make much $$. We are low income class...one of many commons in Deaf population.

Yeah most people have to pay for a venue AND an officiant. Are you having the reception in another space or is there a hall in the church?

GreeneBunny

Ok, gotcha. I am thinking about my hometown mayor or different town mayor to officant who didnt charge fee at all for my youngest sister and my brother in law's wedding ceremony at the gazebo in the park, but one thing i dont know about the bible...i didn't see the holy bible book in his hand. What I want to have is a biblical marriage. Is all.

How do you define a biblical marriage? Because the Bible has a ton of variety within that, many of which aren't acceptable by today's standards.

Holly,

No, we are not going to have a so called expensive wedding reception party. We will plan to have a gatherng at some waterfront restaurant for dinner to celebrate. It will be just 40-45 guests and us. Intimate wedding.

Holly,

My youngest sister and my brother in law are agnostic/atheist. Hope that clears up your question.

In regards to the dinner- as long as you're hosting it, that's a perfectly acceptable reception!

Hi Katy! From what I can try to understand, it sounds like you have a few options:

- Get married at your church by your deaf pastor and cancel your chapel

- Get married at a ASL-friendly local church (which may require becoming a member)

- Hire a ASL licensed officiant (which sounds like it has been difficult to find)

- or hire an officiant and an ASL interpreter to sign the wedding (I think this will be the easiest combo, but it may cost more)

JessieJV,

I got other email from officant on thumbpick website, she offers 300 dollars. That's below the average, lol.