No one wants to officiate our wedding.

I'm still confused why you can't have any ordained minister and just an ASL interpreter. It seems like you're creating a lot of unnecessary stress for yourself. And if the issue is that you want to get married in that particular church but they're charging you money - that's very standard. I've talked to a couple friends of various denominations and we all had to "donate" to the church to get married there.

I don't want to come off as being the end line, legal authority on this; that's not my place. If he is ordained legally and has a congregation, he should be fine.

My best advice would be to ask him about his ordination path and then contact the clerk in Suffolk or Nassau county, whichever place you're going to be married.

Laura,

I know....if I were a hearing person, I would not have this kind of stress easily in this situation. It is not cool for Deaf people like me to face crossroads and limited to access....hindering our rights. Know what my fiance did say about my church? Fuck them!

I think if your pastor's superiors already said no you can't expect that he will defy them no matter whether he legally can do it or not.

Oh ok! Thank you, Celia. Ohhh tonight is Wednesday Deaf Bible Study at my church where my pastor teaches. I am going to check in on him and show him some of the comments answered here. I will be damned if things not clears up with them ignorant peoples at my church.

I don't want to come off as rude, but is he ordained? Everyone I know who became a pastor or priest went to school for theology.

Also, some churches don't allow you to get married outside the church. As a Catholic, I needed a church wedding. It was around $700 on LI!

This may be off topic Katy, but I am going to suggest softening your stance a bit. Instead of coming in with both guns blazing, insisting and calling people ignorant and such, try explaining your situation and asking (not demanding) what can be done to help you.

When someone comes to my office asking for help, I will do everything in my power to move heaven and earth. Those who are pushy and demanding get a blank stare followed by a less than magnanimous effort. Hope everything works out for you!

Try April Gismondi from Church of Ancient Ways. Her crew are fluent in many languages.

@gymrat where are you getting married?! It's so cool to see other Long Island brides!

Nonna T,

Yes, they are ignorants for bullying on LGBT and turn them away from the church while they welcome unmarried couples with children, porn addict, registered sex offender, liars, druggie, mental illness that behaves badly, etc. they kicked my friend out right after they found out from rumor outside the church that shes lesbian...she had served my church for 20 years until they pried into her private life from a rumor somehwere else, she was trying to defend herself, asking who told you and all that....they pushed her to leave the church. Shes really heartbroken and hurt. It traumatizes her after the church assisant spent time the last months bullying and picking on her just because of her sexual orientation.

Again, if I were hearing, I would not be here in the first place.

What sect of Christian are you? Is it possible to go into a local Parish of said sect, even if they aren't deaf, and ask them for one they'd recommend. It seems the Parish you've been visiting not longer aligns with your beliefs. Maybe another one can help.

I'm sorry you're having troubles- but It's rude AF of you to assume that the rest of us have no problems simply because we can hear.

Almost EVERY.SINGLE.BRIDE.AND.GROOM.HERE has had their fair share of troubles.

Each person has to face their own set of challenges. I get that being deaf is difficult. But perhaps stop playing the martyr here and work on a solution.

But it's a slap in the face to the community to say "well I wouldn't be here if I didn't have these problems"

I'm not going to play the "whose got it worse" problem- but just because you have a problem doesn't mean someone else's problems do not exist- or aren't relevant. That's rude and selfish.

If your church treated your friend like that and has hate towards the groups you mentioned why do you go there? Why would be associated with that at all?

I'll echo everyone else's suggestions, call Rev. April. She married friends of mine and was fabulous!

Also, your chapel offers Ministers for a fee. E-mail them!

I don't have any helpful advice. I just want to say I'm sorry you're having such a tough time.

And that you're right, you likely would not be having such a tough time if you were hearing. It sucks that you're options are so limited and it could end up costing you more simply because you're deaf.

Are there any deaf groups you could reach out to on Facebook or social media? I would do some searching, I'm sure others have gone through this before and might be able to help.

ETA: I just did a quick google search and there is a group called "Long Island New York Deaf." Maybe try posting there.

Jumping in to say that my home church has an interpreter for people who are deaf, even though we are by large population a hearing church. It might not hurt to just go in to a few hearing churches in your area and see what your options are! You might be surprised ! Good luck.

OP's whole attitude stinks. I find myself unsympathetic as the story unfolds....

Muffinbutton,

Sorry, I'd rather keep my location and information private...not gonna post on Facebook publicly over there. We don't need to deal with deaf stalkers anymore... we had enough of that.....we been thru three years of hell from that crazy stalker....she is watching us trying to sabotage our wedding.

Deaf stalkers?

okay.

Can you email local churches? They may have interpreters.