No one wants to officiate our wedding.

Agree. I would edit your post title to say "Paging Celia".

Get a private officiant and an sign interpreter.

Have you tried the app thumbtack?

Also page Rev. April Gismondi from the Church of Ancient Ways. She's my officiant (she's in Suffolk County), and she might be able to assist.

Celia or April will do you right, announce the thread tile to their attention, they can help you somehow! Good luck.

Ask your wedding coordinator. I bet she has referrals. Be wary of anybody who gets "ordained "online. It could have disastrous results .Go for a judge maybe. My father-in- law married my step brother after he became an ordained "minister" in The Universal Life Church. The IRS shut it down because it was a phony church whose sole purpose was to avoid paying taxes. What a mess.

Sarah,

My fiance and I are in long distance engaged relationship. I am here in Li for working jobs. I must work at a least year at my work to pass for my job experience on my resume in order to transfer to the upstate. I plan to move out to the upstate to be with him after we get married. He goes to his church -non denominational christian church and I go to my church here also non denominational i've been attending there for 22 years. But I tell you, my sister in Christ friend said they are so wrong. She got married to his husband who is a pastor for the youth group at his church. My friend didn't have to be a member of his church in order to get married. Her husband's father is also a pastor he can marry anyone outside the church. Member is no such thing....they say..they rolled their damn eyes at those idiotic and nonsense church rules system. Jesus doesn't appreciate of this going on with their stupid church system for sure! My father is Catholic raised in Nebraksa abd my mother who is Methodist and the priest accepted to marry them at a Catholic church in NyC they never attended at the Catholic in NyC as 'member' whatever.

Yes, we can get married anywhere outside of my church. No, I found nothing about ASL officants (they have few but like I said in OP, they refused because of stupid rules and one has no license, unfortunately) and as for the interpreter. They are not free at charge. It is not fair for hearing people only pays for thr officant. Sometimes free at charge. My boss at work she got married recently for free by the priest at the catholic church. We Deaf people have to pay thousands for both officant and interpreters...no way that will work. Plus five is a crowd at the altar (two interpreters, one officiant, us bride and groom)

Its is actually really common to have to be a member to be married in a church. FH and I needed a "sponsor" (a member of the congregation of the church building we would like to use) in order to use their building - even though it is the same religion, we have members that attend in both places (whatever is most convenient after work/visiting family in the city), and our preachers know each other well. The sponsor takes responsibility for us should anything come up broken or missing, and its a way they keep people who aren't faithful from using the church as a prop.

And, well yeah, fornication is a sin, but what does that have to do with getting married? Getting married would correct that, no?

Good luck on your search though!

Oh sorry, I thought you wanted a solution to your problem.

Hi Katy,

Interestingly enough, my partner Michael is officiating for a deaf couple right as we speak....they are probably signing their vows to each other right now! I do know sign language but not enough to get through an entire ceremony with confidence.

For starters, don't do TT. It's beginners, there is no vetting at all; the first five people who will cough up a fee to send you a price get to do that. It's mostly beginners and people who can't get hired any other way.

I'd second April; she is in LI and knows everyone .

If the pastor in your church is ordained, he should be able to marry you outside the church unless your church won't allow it. And your church sounds really, really judgmental....sorry, I think that's awful. "Fornication" yep, there's a mouthful, no pun intended.

Now, on to the productive part.

Option one; find a great, flexible officiant who will send you the full copy of the script ahead of time so you can follow along and sign or say your vows to each other.

Option two. Find an interpreter who is not the pastor, who can sign the ceremony as your officiant delivers it. It may be difficult to find both qualities, officiant legality and ASL ability in one person.

Option 2 1/2. Call Gallaudet University in Washington (pretty much their main focus is teaching ASL teachers) or any of the colleges in your area that teach ASL. (In my area, there are four in a close radius....) They can probably recommend someone to interpret and while a student probably won't be able to spontaneously translate, if they have a script ahead of time, that should work out fine.

Some of your choice is going to depend on how many people in your audience are also deaf; my partner Michael's wedding is tiny, but all of the audience signs.

And for the record? No one gets married for 'free' in the Catholic church.

Celia,

Ok, i will do that for today. I really lost my respect for my church and those churches who brought up a word 'member' in regards of church rules....and also my church shun any one who is LGBT if they ever discover they are...whoa! I have never disclosed my blunt expression about church until yesterday publicly on Facebook. Real talk about how fucked up sicko those churches are when it comes with deaf ministries officiated pastors and Deaf wedding issue....the private owner of old small chapel off the road is wonderng why she has not received my deposit in mail lately....because my pastor called me last week to tell me that he found out that he is not allowed to marry us outside the church due to no license. UGh, what a way to fuck with our confirmed wedding plan.

Well, my boss did told me she got free at charge that she got married by the priest she knows....

Oh, forgot to add, when i said 550-700 dollars for the officiant,,,guess what? Many friends of mine and my mother said its too much! No way it must be rip off! They never paid that high. My mother told me get married for free by hometown mayor! Thats how my sister did got married to atheist husband at the park by town mayor. No charge at all.

LOL Celia--I was thinking the same thing. We may be many things but we aren't cheap!

(And that's how people who don't always agree can laugh and move forward)

If you want the least expensive option, get married at a courthouse that has a sign interpreter on call and use their services. Both courthouses I work out of have a long list of sign interpreters and I am sure they would be happy to help you reserve part of an hour of their time.

550-700 in LI is about right.

If you're a member of a church, in MOST places, you're expected to make a hefty 'donation' pay the organist and church staff, and you're expected to tithe a certain percentage of your income (usually 10%) to keep the church afloat. And if it matters to you, you will instead of being happy that someone else is footing the bill for the heat, the electricity and the person who runs the darn thing.

A little off track, but people pay for the things that matter to them, whether it's cable TV, beer, or supporting the church that is a part of their life.

Your mom and your friends are wrong. I bet they never tell you that you're making too much money, do they?

@Katy - $500 - $700 is about average for an officiant. It can actually be more or less depending on your area. A friend of mine who got married at the Cathedral made a $3K "donation" to the diocese in order to get married.

Celia

I see. Thats strange. My low income Deaf friends who got married at my church,,,they did not pay one penny.