No kids at wedding- what age, etc.

For budget reasons our cut off is 21. No exceptions even for kids we might otherwise include in the party--too much drama in FH's family. What you described in your post works well for some people though.

Is that common? To have family kids in the wedding party ONLY and they leave shortly after dinner?

I had never seen that done before!

I don't know if "common" is the right word, but it's definitely not unheard of. People just have to do what works best for them.

Thank you for your input!!! Helpful

It all depends on your preferences for what counts as a kid. I was recently at a wedding that had no little kids (besides flower girls and ring bearers), but there were teenagers so I'm assuming they allowed 13 and up. They addressed the envelopes only to those who were invited. I know she had to make a few awkward phone calls to parents who RSVPed for their little toddlers.

@rebecca thank you!

I think I would ok for teenagers. I am just concerned about toddlers etc.

I probably shouldn't be though!

If we allowed children there would be 18 kids there, ranging from one year olds to 11 year olds

Am I wrong for feeling this way,

No!! Have the wedding you want!

I'm only having a few cousins, and the youngest is 12.

Ok ok! Thank you

It depends. You could do adult only in which the cutoff would be 18. You could invite high school and up (this is what I would do) or 12 and up. I think anyone under 12 would be considered a kid, but I still think middle school is kind of young.

I think of you are doing the no kids you should do no kids. Especially if the families have more than 1 kid and the kids range in ages. Ex my sister has 4 kids, 17, 12, 8 and 6. And you did 15 and up well they would then be splitting the family in half.

The only kids at our wedding will be immediate family (our 2 and neices and nephews) most of our friends have children and are cool with no kids. When they were married they had no kids (except family). One set of friends have 3 kids and will be travelling and we arranged to have my sister's SIL (her husbands sister) watch the kids at the hotel.

We are doing a no kids wedding, I guess technically like 16-18 plus. We didn't set an exact number for a cut off, but there's only one of my cousins who would be right on that borderline. He's 15, but he's also 6'4" already and has a voice like a bass drum, so we just aren't going to say anything and know everyone will assume he's older. All the other kids in our family are like 10 and under so it's an easy distinction. Three kids in the wedding party are included, but they are leaving whenever their parents do or don't want them to.

Mine was 21 and up, with a few exceptions. Actually, it was 25 and up, as we were in our early 30s when we married. The exceptions were our flower girl (9 - her mother is a dear friend and was a bridesmaid), ringbearer (10 - his mother is my husband's closest cousin), hubby's niece and nephew (12 & 15, who were a bridesmaid and groomsman), and my honorary little brother and sister (15 & 17.5). Our dream venue held less than 100, and the dance floor was actually cramped, with 94 guests. To add kids would have been almost 25 more guests.

And then there's the costs; The 3 teenagers only got a $26 discount, off the full adult price, and the 3 kids were half the adult rate. Affordable, it was not.

My Mom's family has been hosting adult-only weddings, since she was a kid. Of the weddings I've attended in my life 95% have been childfree, except for the wedding party, the couples' kids, or nieces and nephews.

I think it depends on your reasons for kids only. If it is to cut the guest list, you'd have to look at how many people you'd be cutting at each age. If it is behavior, then you have to decide how old is old enough to behave. This might be different for evry bride based on the kids she knows. I think as long as you pick an age and stick with it people will be more okay with it.

We had a 21 and up wedding; actually it was 23 and up, because that was the youngest 1st cousin's age, in the older group. The other 1st cousin's were 9-18 and were not invited. The only exception was my play sister (16.5 and looks much more mature), who was a bridesmaid.

There was some grumbling from my grandmother, who wanted 2 cousins I'd met twice invited, and the groom's side (6 cousins not invited), but no one offered to pay for them.

We hosted 225 - to add kids would have squeezed us out of our venue, and blew the budget out of the water. Guests 13 and up were charged the full adult rate - no discount for 5 hours of open bar. 3 cousins would have qualified for the kids' rate - half off - but they would have insisted on an adult meal, at an adult price. It was a pretty easy decision to make.

My and my fiance agrees not have any children, unless they are apart of the bridal party due to the cost of plates for each person, kids really don't eat like that, so they would be wasting a plates which is costing us $50 person, so it would be a shame for a 8 year to waste a $50 meal, and that's not even the taxes.

We are only having our immediate family's children (our two kids, and our nieces and nephews - in total 5 kids under the age of ten). We could not invite everyone's children because it would triple the size of our guest list and we cannot afford that. Whatever you decide to do, just be consistent with it. Some people will be offended, but you can't please everyone, and shouldn't have to.

You should definitely have the wedding you want. Keep in mind, barring children will mean some people won't come-- either cause they're OOT, and can't get sitters for multiple days, or cause they're just not comfortable leaving their kids with sitters.

Also, in defense of children, I've been to two weddings in the past year where there were children. They did NOT hog up the dance floor/knock over the cake, etc. They were well mannered, and were delighted to be included as part of the fun.

But it really is your call.

I don't know how many kids your guest list would entail (or what your budget would allow), but I was recently at a wedding where the bride hired a babysitter, and all the kids went to one of the guest rooms until the end of the reception. It was nice for the kids to be able to come to the wedding but also for the parents to be able to have fun at the reception.