No Future In Laws attending

I went through this at the beginning. FH family is from JA and I really considered having it there. His dad was like why Mexico? But then I looked at the prices compared to Jamaica and Mexico and Mexico wins!! My FFIL had so much fun at our engagement party he has decided he will come to Mexico as well.

At the end of the day I know alot of people wont come to Mexico but if people truly want to be there, they will.

We are privately getting married at the courthouse. Right before going to Mexico because the whole giving blood thing is a bit much.

Are you legally getting married in Mexico?

You guys should just pay for them. How much are flights & hotel?

@Elizabeth, sorry but I have to disagree with you here. If her FIL's are not paying for the wedding why does she need to "get their blessing" to have it in Mexico? Her wedding, Her choice.

@Eboni If this is what you truly want, then go for it. My mom gave me a little backlash when I decided Mexico but she is totally on board now. Having a wedding in NYC is not affordable nor is that what I want to do and I am not settling for any one. Esp if they arent contributing.

OK that makes a HUGE difference Eboni. You are not getting married in Mexico. I hope and pray you advised your guests that are spending thousands that you are already going to be married. I bet that is why your FMIL isn't going. I wouldn't go to a vow renewal in Mexico either. Invite her to your wedding, the courthouse wedding.

@Jeleebeenz Is there an issue you have with getting married in the states before traveling to MX for a DW?

How does your FH feel about his parents not coming?

And there it is. So you want people to spend a shitload of money to see a re-enactment and you cannot understand why your FILs might be a little pissed.

Your FMIL may want you to have your wedding in Jamaica because she probably knows someone there who can perform the ceremony legally and since you will probably be there at least a week, you will be able to fulfil the 48 hour on island requirement. You are just putting your vision before your future family.

@Eboni

I'm getting married LEGALLY in NY and having my DW in Mexico. It is my business and my choice. Getting legally married in Mexico is a hassle. Please don't let what others think deter you. My family will spend a "shitload" of money to see the religious ceremony because that is what is important to us.

If your parents are paying for the whole ceremony, I would offer to pay her ticket and accommodations.

@AshleyDanielle, why don't you just meet the requirements to have a proper wedding in Mexico, or host your wedding properly in New York and honeymoon in Mexico.

JFC, I know lots of people who have had proper DWs in Jamaica, Mexico, Cuba and ACTUALLY gotten married not just made people spend tons of money for a charade.

@Jessie I am doing what I chose to do which is get legally married in NY and have a religious ceremony and celebration in Mexico. No one in my family has an issue with this.

Thanks!

I've been to a few DW and never thought to ask if the person married previously. It just didn't concern me enough. To each their own though

Her FH picked the location, it doesn't seem like OP intentionally slapped FMIL in the face. I think the fact that she would get on the plane if it was somewhere she wanted to go but won't because it's not Jamaica is off putting to me. I would offer to pay the accommodations but am willing to bet this wouldn't appease her.

No one has an issue with you to your face. It's incredibly selfish though.

I highly doubt if someone had an issue they would be spending money to attend it...

It really is between be and my FH at the end of the day.

@ashleydanielle and any other lurkers - your wedding ceremony is between you and your FH/FW, that is for the two of you. Once you invite other people, you have to start thinking about your guests and their comfort. One of those things is not spending their money for them. Yes, your family may feel an obligation to go to a marriage celebration in Mexico, but it doesn't mean that they should have to. If you truly feel that it should be between you and your FH, elope. Otherwise, think of what is easiest and best for your guests.

I completely agree with you @ashleydanielle it's about what we chose to do. No matter where we are having it they aren't pitching in. I'm learning some people make a wedding about everyone but the couple. So this will be a long year to say the least

I'm having a DW myself and the fist thing I had to come to terms with was, not everyone will go. Sure I would love 100% of the guests I invite to make it, but I know it won't happen for all kinds of different reasons (money, health, time off, not feeling like it, etc) and I cannot be mad at anyone for not being able to go. Now, I would definitely be hurt on my FH behalf, but at the end of the day, if your in laws can't afford it or just plain don't feel like going, then you have to accept that.

I canceled my DW a month before, (after checking with all guests a year in advance that the DW was okay) the wedding because no one could afford to attend. So I planned a wedding, in a month, near home.

Think about who you really want there. If you want your FILs at the wedding, then you might need to change your plans.