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Savvy May 2019

No father to walk me down the Isle...

Kylie, on November 4, 2016 at 4:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 37
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Since my father passed I'm not sure what to do as far as who will walk me down the Isle. I was thinking of my grandfather(dads side) walking me and my uncle (dads side) dancing with me for my father daughter dance. Is having an in memory of table with pictures of deceased family and friends who we wished could've attended inappropriate? If you didn't have your father to walk you down the Isle what did you do? What's your opinion on my idea? Thanks in advance!

37 Comments

Latest activity by Louise, on August 20, 2019 at 8:47 AM
  • Jennifer
    Super April 2017
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    I think having your paternal grandfather walk you down the isle is wonderful. I also don't have a father. Mine left when I was a baby... whatever his loss Smiley smile My son who is 18 is walking me down the isle. We are also having a table with pictures of people who have passed who we wish were there with us. Hope this helps

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  • mimitrue
    Master January 2016
    mimitrue ·
    • Flag

    I would pick the person you are closest to to walk you down the aisle...you mom?a sibling? grandfather? Uncle? Pick the one you are closest to.

    A memory table is perfectly acceptable at a wedding.

    • Reply
  • Lorith
    Master May 2016
    Lorith ·
    • Flag

    I had my father walk me down the aisle. However if he couldn't I would have simply walked alone. Honestly, I wanted to anyway.

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  • Elizabeth Grimes
    Elizabeth Grimes ·
    • Flag

    We often face this with our couples. Some decide to come in alone, others ask an important family member to escort them in. You can include photos of your father in a small locket in your flowers or worn as a necklace. Some decide to lay a rose in the chair where he would sit, as they enter the ceremony space. Your thoughts of Grandfather walking you in and Uncle dancing is great! Many couples include Memorial Tables during the reception. We frequently include memorial words in the beginning of the ceremony-to recognize the people who played an important role in your life but are no longer with us physically but live on in our hearts. It is just a couple of sentences at the very beginning of the ceremony and then we take the tone up to the celebration of your love. You could discuss this with your officiant to see what suggestions they may have.

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  • Stacy
    Super October 2017
    Stacy ·
    • Flag

    I think your grandfather is a great idea and giving the honor to your uncle as well. Not at all inappropriate for the table you would like of those you wish could be there.

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  • B
    Super June 2017
    Brandi ·
    • Flag

    Were having a memorial picture and probably flowers for my mother in law. She passed when my FH was 11. Some people but a small picture on their bouquet. Sorry for your loss.

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  • Katie B to S
    Super January 2017
    Katie B to S ·
    • Flag

    My dad has a bad habit of ending up in the hospital on important days, so although I fully intend to have my dad walk me down the aisle my backup is a friend I've known since kindergarten, he's like a brother to me and we went to school together all the way through our second year of college. I'm not sure what I would do about our dance, though

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  • Dreamer
    Master May 2013
    Dreamer ·
    • Flag

    You don't need a father, to walk down the aisle with you. You don't need a male relative, or male friend, to walk down the aisle with you. If you don't want to walk alone, ask one of the people you're closest to.

    You can walk with your MOH, walk by yourself, walk with your future spouse, meet your future spouse halfway down the aisle ...

    • Reply
  • KnechtTheDots
    Dedicated July 2017
    KnechtTheDots ·
    • Flag

    My dad passed away 3.5 years ago when I was 19. I had the same situation. I thought for a long time about who to have walk me, and chose my uncle on my dads side. He was the one that came to mind first whenever I thought about it. He graciously accepted. I havent decided if I am having a father daughter dance though..

    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner April 2017
    Karen ·
    • Flag

    I always thought that if my father wasn't able to walk me down I would walk alone with a picture of him or something else that reminded me of him. I thought about my brothers doing it but I just don't think I could walk with anyone else. It all depends on your personal situation. And as far as a remembrance table, I love that idea.

    • Reply
  • abegaile
    Super June 2017
    abegaile ·
    • Flag

    My grandpa is walking me down the aisle as well as my step-dad.

    We are doing a table for our deceased family members.

    • Reply
  • K Dot
    Super June 2017
    K Dot ·
    • Flag

    My dad passed away a few years ago. My brother will be walking me down the aisle and I'm doing a mother daughter dance. What about your mom? Or anyone you're close to?

    • Reply
  • Jamie Chang
    Jamie Chang ·
    • Flag

    You don't have to have someone walk you down the aisle, but if you want someone, I'd pick the person who you want by your side and who you want to hold on to before you tie the knot. It could be anyone or it could be no one.

    Memorial tables can be nice, but you could also say some words in the ceremony (your officiant would do this) or put it in the program. There are lots of ways to remember past loved ones. I had a client once who left a chair open at the ceremony and put some flowers. Simple and sweet. Do what feels right for you in a way that makes you happy and honors them.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Dedicated October 2017
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    My father is a Vietnam veteran. He has Lou Gehrig's disease and is wheelchair bond. I have also been thinking a lot about this. As he is not deceased, I feel if he is not up to attending, I'll just walk alone. I do plan on a memory table for my deceased grandmothers and FH's brother; "We know you would be here today if Heaven weren't so far away." I am sorry for your loss.

    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy November 2016
    Marble ·
    • Flag

    Do you have a brother? My fiancee is going to have her brother walk her down the isle if her dad is not home in time.

    • Reply
  • xray12280
    Master June 2017
    xray12280 ·
    • Flag

    I will be having my big brother and grandfather walk me. I am skipping the dance. And I have a bouquet charm of my dad for my bouquet.

    • Reply
  • BootsyBoo
    Expert December 2017
    BootsyBoo ·
    • Flag

    You can walk by yourself if you want to. Otherwise, I would pick someone that you hold very close. Even a woman can walk you down the aisle! It's your choice!

    • Reply
  • S
    Super June 2017
    SoontobeMrs. ·
    • Flag

    I'm walking with mom (maybe-that is another story of its own). If not, by myself. I'm skipping the father/daughter dance and I will have my FH enjoy his mother/son dance. Of course I envisioned my wedding a different way but life did not allow it, but I refuse for it to ruin our day.

    • Reply
  • Lakyn
    Devoted October 2017
    Lakyn ·
    • Flag

    My brother is walking me down and we're doing a "new family" dance. Him with my mom, me with his dad.

    • Reply
  • Whitney-Ann
    Dedicated August 2017
    Whitney-Ann ·
    • Flag

    My grandfather was supposed to be the one to walk me down the aisle but he passed away last year. I'm 95% sure that I'll be waking down the aisle alone. But we will have an extra chair at the ceremony with something in it as a way to memorialize him.

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