Tranean
Dedicated August 2021

No children please

Tranean, on October 12, 2019 at 9:56 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 72
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My husband and I decided we didn’t want children under a certain age at our vow renewal. What’s the best way to articulate this request in the invitation?

72 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    Don't invite children. There's no need to mention who isn't invited on your invitation and I personally find it kind of rude. Simply address the invitation to whoever is invited and specify on your RSVP card how many seats you've reserved for their household. If you feel like it's necessary to explicitly say "don't bring your kids," your website might be a more appropriate place for it.

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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    Caytlyn is right.
    Also keep in mind that some families might turn down if they have children on both sides of your cutoff age and they may give some guff. I think most people just choose to exclude children all together for fairness sake.
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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
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    As pp said just list down the names of people you want to invite.
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    It’s not meant to be rude by any means, for safety concerns where the reception will be held and having alcohol, I would feel better if there wasn’t a risk of some toddler falling off a balcony because mom and dad are trying to have a good time. I’ll discuss the no kids at all thing with my husband to get his opinion.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    I don't think it's rude to not have children at your wedding. I think it's rude to send an invitation and say "We would like for you to come to our wedding...but don't bring your kids. Thanks, let us know if you'll be there!"

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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    This probably sounds bad to say but if they decline, they just decline. We’ve considered that, and as I mentioned to Caytlyn, it’s more of a safety thing for me. I don’t want some toddler falling off a balcony because mom and dad had a few drinks and aren’t paying attention to their kid.
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    So and forgive me if I’m misunderstanding your statement, but isn’t it the same thing but saying no children? If I specifically say no children, they don’t have a sitter then it’s the same response if I say no children under the age of say 10 right?
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    I'm not sure what you're asking. If you don't want kids, you don't need to say "your kids aren't invited" on the invitation. Just don't invite them. Like PP said, it should really be an all or nothing thing. Setting a random cutoff age is only gong to cause drama. What will you do for a family who has, say, an 11 year old and a 9 year old? They're allowed to bring one of their children but the other isn't welcome?

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  • M
    Expert September 2020
    Marcia ·
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    Kids are always a sticky issue. But it’s your party and you get to choose who you want to invite. You can invite no kids at all or no kids under a certain age. Just invite those you want to attend on the invitation by name. Be prepared to stick to your guns and have some declines because of it though.
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    Ok! Thanks!! I was thinking there should be a way to word what I’m wanting and we’re prepared for the declines. Thank you for understanding my post and not making me feel like I shouldn’t be able to request what I want.
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    If they have one the cut off age and one isn’t then they can choose not decline as a family, how they choose to handle my request isn’t my business. I’m perfectly ok with people declining for this reason and so is my husband. I was just trying to figure out a way to word it in my invitation.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    The simple answer is, you shouldn't.

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  • Ayonna
    Just Said Yes January 2020
    Ayonna ·
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    Did u have a great wedding
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    We haven’t had it yet
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  • Ayonna
    Just Said Yes January 2020
    Ayonna ·
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    We don't have kids yet
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    We’ll just agree to disagree. I don’t see a problem with it and it apparently offends you. 🤷🏽‍♀️ It happens and everyone can’t be pleased. I appreciate your contribution.
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated March 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I don’t think you’re understanding it. Or maybe making the situation larger than it is. If you want to do it in a tasteful way. She is saying don’t write that on the invitations instead address the invite to each specific person. But it seems like you are ready for attitudes to come in 🤷🏽‍♀️
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  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
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    I've seen lots of posts about a kid free wedding. A lot of people on here seem to prefer a kid free wedding and there's nothing wrong with that. You could always add at the bottom "adults only" or if you have an information card you could add something like "as much as we enjoy children, we are looking forward to an adult only evening" You'll probably have some people reach out and complain or ask why but just stick with your decision.
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    Maybe I was misunderstanding, what I understood was say no children period or have kids, one or the other. Her thing was it’s rude to be specific about an age limit because some families may have kids on both sides so I should just say no children period. I don’t have a problem with children there, just below a certain age group. I may have missed the part where she mentioned to do separate invites. But I honestly don’t remember her saying that. Now another commenter said to list names on the invite.
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  • Tranean
    Dedicated August 2021
    Tranean ·
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    Thank you. I appreciate you actually responding to my question on how to word my request in an invite, not whether or not I should have kids there. I could definitely use your suggestion and say something like “as much as we enjoy children, for safety reasons no children under the age of xx for the evening”
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