No bridal party, how to involve loved ones so they still feel more included

What kind of help? No one has* to help you. It's your wedding not theirs. If someone offers help then that's great but really it's no one's responsibility other than you and your fiancé's

I say if they are going to be helping out and doing things many bridesmaids kindly do (but of course are not expected to) then you might as well have them as bridesmaids.

Even bridesmaids are not obligated to help. Basically, you and your FI need to have the wedding you two can afford in terms of not only money, but time. If it is too much for the two of you to handle, you need to push it back and/or simplify it.

Definitely don't ask them to be unofficial bridesmaids! They either are BMs or they're not. In between is just confusing and tends to hurt people. Jennifer's right: BMs aren't required to help with anything. Some will step forward and offer to help.

Have these friends mentioned their willingness to help if you needed anything? If so, I see no reason not to ask them to help out. You can always surprise them with small thank you gifts on the weekend of your wedding, or surprise them with a corsage the day of to say thank you for all their help. But I don't think this needs a label.

I believe that if they are really good friends that they will offer to help. I had too many people offer to help! I know when a friend gets married I always offer whatever help I can. I would just do what you can on your own and then if they offer to help then you'll get a little break, ha.

Before you ask these "unofficial" bridesmaids for their help (what exactly do you need help with?), I'd look into hiring a DOC and if that's impossible, then start with family.

Let your guests be guests. By using a DOC, you and everyone around you can enjoy the big day.

I agree with Kristina K. except I'd go all out and hire a wedding planner if you need that much help. My FH and I are doing all the planning and we are hiring professionals for all the important things like music, photos, flowers, etc. We did hire a DOC because even though the venue has a really great coordinator we're working with, we wanted somebody whose main focus was us and not the venue's! All I expect from my BMs and MOH is to be there for the rehearsal and wedding. Oh, and my MOH will go with me when I buy my gown.

Let me rephrase my questions Because we aren't having a bridal party does not mean they are not important and I would like them to feel included in the activities. I would love them to be a part of whatever they can but didn't know how to ask.

I haven't told anyone we aren't having a bridal party yet. When the time comes, I want them to know they are very important and that I would be honored if they would still be a part of it in some way.

I dont understand the point of not having a bridal party, when you're going to go to all the lengths that a bridal party entails, down to wearing specific colors and flowers.

if you want people who do all the things bridesmaids do... just have a bridesmaid. otherwise it honestly comes off kind of rude -- like.. 'i wanted all the perks of bridesmaids, but couldnt be bothered to officially honor you as one'.

By "activities" do you mean invited to stuff like wedding dress shopping and the bachelorette party? Or do you mean stuffing invitations and assembling decorations and favors? Most women see getting asked to go to a bridal shop appointment to be an honor and not work. If you ask, they'll go whether they are bridesmaids or not. If you don't ask, people still offer to go with you (so awkward!) If you're wanting them at a bachelorette party, invite your friends to a girls night, or make sure they're on the invite list for a bachelorette party if someone is offering to throw one for you. These things don't have to be exclusively for bridesmaids.

What is your reason for not having a bridal party? Wanting two of your closest friends to be honored, to have flowers, wear a certain color dress, and help with random things is basically the definition of a bridesmaid lol.

Don't ask them to help with anything, if they offer you can take them up on it. What kinds of things do you need help with? Doesn't look like you've answered that.

Personally id be thrilled to be a part but not be a bridesmaid. Ive been a bm 1 time and the costs shot up even tho my friend claimed shed help me pay (she didnt). Just make up some other title for your friends......or ask them to be bm's but change what their roles are to whatever you want it to be. Its your wedding!

I want to know what kind of help you plan on asking for. That determines my answer. I think when it comes to weddings if people don't volunteer to help you need to hire someone.

I've done that for friends before- helped and been included without being a bridesmaid. It was great- I didn't have to shell out for a special dress, shoes, jewelry etc, didn't have to sit awkwardly at a head table, or juggle a bouquet, etc. It's like all the fun of being a bridesmaid with none of the hassle. I still got to hang with the bride a lot, be helpful, and enjoy the wedding! A couple had me do a reading or sing.

What kind of wedding are you planning that you need help? There are professionals you can hire for this...

Why does someone need to be put to work--officially or unofficially--to know they're your friend or special? Your friendship, and the way you treat them, should been an indicator. If by "help" you mean dress shopping, sure, go ahead. But it it means any labor, please enlist your FH or mother.

We're not having a bridal party except for my goddaughters who will be flower girls. The girls and their mother (my bestie) probably will stop by my room when I'm almost finished getting ready so we can take a few pictures together. Maybe your friends can take "getting ready" pics with you? Getting to see you before everyone else might make them feel special.

I'm all about non-bridesmaids. My friends and I have been in a ton of weddings. Plus it's my second. I sent notes to my friends that I just appreciate their friendship and support. They were all relieved not to be BMs. Some have offered to help others haven't. It has been a great stress free experience.

I think a simple corsage would be nice. Don't ask them to wear a specific color.

I only have a MOH. And some of my friends have even scheduled hair and makeup appointments to spend time with me in the morning! I was overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I am getting, despite not having an "official" party. If you're friends are true friends, they will be excited to go dress shopping with you and go out for a drink (or 5), and listen to you complain about...everything.

I ended up giving the girls who would have been in my bridal party "you're not my bridesmaid" gifts. Just a mug and a note thanking them for their support. I think it went over well, and most of my friends are in grad school, or spending money on their own weddings, so no one was complaining about not having to spend the money on bridesmaid things.

I guess I'm also wondering what you're hoping they'll help with. Your wedding is in a month, and no one knows you don't have an "official" bridal party yet?

There are a ton of little things friends can do to make the day easier without doing actual work. Like running interference with confused older relatives who want to barge in on the newlyweds' moment alone just after the ceremony. Or rerouting the late cake delivery to the venue manager instead of the bride or the ditzy, hysteria-prone MOB.