No Alcohol?!

Lovefatedestiny3- I totally understand where you are coming from. My FH and I are having a similar issue. He doesn't drink at all and I very rarely do. I cannot decide whether or not to serve alcohol because I am waiting to see how our budget looks. You are the bride and if you don't want to spend money on a particular thing than that is OK! after all.. haters gonna hate. Just put on some taylor swift and shake it off!

I've never been to a wedding without alcohol, and would be really annoyed to not have it to be honest. You don't need alcohol to have a good time, but it makes it more fun (for me and my friend group!). I 100% don't think it is your responsibility to police people around alcohol, so I wouldn't use that as an excuse. I would leave early no matter how much I liked the couple.

This thread was as obnoxious as I thought it would be. Just another askhole and people who don't understand what proper hosting is. OP next time, try the search bar. How has there not been any memes?

Me and my FH don't drink but we are having an open bar at our wedding. If you can't afford it then don't do it. It's a party. It's not worth starting your marriage in debt. As for how your guest will feel. I think it depends on your wedding details. Are you having a brunch or lunch wedding? If so people tend to drink less in the day than they do at night. If I was having a dry wedding. I would have a brunch.

This blog post on wedding bee might make you feel better. Ultimately it's your decision and it's not like dry weddings aren't done. People will make you feel like a wedding reception has to fit certain perimeters. Such as having to have a full sit down meal (you don't if you have it at a time where it is between meals). What you have to do is receive your guests with some sort of beverage and something to eat (if it's a short afternoon reception that could be cake and punch) and thank them for coming. Just communicate with your guests so that they know what to expect. I highly recommend doing a brunch, lunch, or afternoon between meals reception where the alcohol wouldn't be missed as much.

http://www.weddingbee.com/2011/05/06/fact-three-weddings-arent-all-about-alcohol/

That's the point. If you're going to serve a formal meal and do all the rest of usual reception things, you need to serve alcohol because that's an expected part of a reception.

Nope. Dry weddings are perfectly acceptable, as long as you are providing the appropriate food, some sort of beverages at the appropriate time of day and accept the repercussions of not serving alcohol - a shorter reception, side-eyes, flasks etc - I don't like them, but etiquette-wise they are completely acceptable.

I have been to 2 in my family. This was due to the fact that the bride's father had passed away due to complications from alcoholism and out of respect for family feelings they wanted a dry wedding. It was still a ton of fun but that is because the family is a very fun loving silly family so they loved to dance and party even without alcohol. They just don't really ever drink so it was not a surprise to anyone. My wedding will have alcohol but that is because that is just how my side of the family is we like our margaritas, wine and beer

Oooooooo to the people who say their guests will leave early or wont have fun, that is bullshit. If your guests care so little about you or celebrating your day that a lack of alcohol will make them leave or be upset, then they arent the type of people thst shoukd be at your wedding anyways. That is ridiculous, i have never heard of something so rude in my life. I guess southern fsmilies and friends care more about each other than just to show up for booze and food.

Lol! This thread is just living on!

I'm not having it at mine either... we can't afford it. BUT, I am doing fun mocktails, to at least give the illusion of fancy drinks. We're a bunch of midwestern nerds and I'm not sure that a lot of people that we're inviting would have drank anyway... but I get you. I feel bad too. We're going to try to keep the music pumping and have a lot of fun without the alcohol! Good luck to you!

Ob jeez.

More memes are in order!

You know what? I'm not entering this debate anymore. If you don't want to or can't afford to serve

alcohol (even a limited bar of beer and wine) at your wedding, then don't. You don't have to explain your reasons, warn your guests (of what? If's it not an issue, what is there to warn them about?), and you don't need to take a litmus test with a bunch of strangers on a wedding forum. The results will always be the same (just use the search bar). Stats indicate that unless the guest list is made up of ultra religious individuals, the average adult likes a drink or two at a party. Even if the guest expects a glass of wine and doesn't get it, it is doubtful that they will walk out when they realize that the host is serving soft drinks and mocktails. That's fine. There is no law against a dry wedding. However, for a majority of those guests, the party will end earlier. Yes, those people value your wedding and appreciate the meal, but a majority of them are not going to close down the house with soda. For those who say that it's just BS, I can only surmise that all of the posts from ladies saying that they've been to dry weddings where guests leave early are nothing more than bullshit.

^^^^

I guess some people just dont know how to have a good time without drinking. I actually pity people like that. I dont need to be tipsy or intoxicated to have a good time or dance. Neither do my friends or family. Alcohol is a substance that compromises your nervous system. It is a drug, just like any other. Just because its legal, doesnt mean people have to serve it, or shojld feel obligated to serve it, especially at a classy event like a wedding. Pot is legal in Colorado. Should they provide blunts???? No. They shouldnt. To me, it is the same thing. Alcohol is a disgusting drug. I dont want to be around it. Aaaand guess what? It is MY day. Just like it is every other bride's day. And if there is ONE day in a womans life that she shouldnt have to be uncomfortable, it should be her wedding day. Alcohol makes me and a lot of people attending my wedding uncomfortable. We shouldnt have to be uncomfortable for a few people who dont know how to have a good time without drinking. That is why the ONLY alcohol that will be at my wedding is champagne for toasting. And even that we are debating.

A word from the big guy

Coffee contains a drug that effects the nervous system as well. With the exception of LDS weddings, are coffee drinkers also persons to be pitied for their reliance on a drug? I've yet to see a "No Coffee?" thread on WW. Good luck shutting down the legal infusion of a drug that often replaces breakfast for countless millions of working human beings. Responsible adults -- those men and women who show up (sober) for work five or more days a week -- you know, those taxpayers donating to the coffers of society -- don't need anyone's pity because, God forbid, on their downtime they like a glass of Pinot Grigiot or a Bud light.

Future Mrs., if you eschew alcohol, that is your right. I would respect that if I were attending your wedding. If you don't want to serve drugs at your wedding, that is absolutely your right. As far as serving marijuana? Seriously? You can't even smoke a cigarette in many open air locations in this country anymore. Actually, lots of venues won't even allow you to have a lighted candle because it's an open flame, so good luck lighting that bowl, that joint, or that bong in a state that has legalized marijuana. The venue manager will be all over your guests with a fire extinguisher.

In your mind, classy equals soda, water, and coffee. That's fine. That's your choice. But please, don't pity someone who likes a drink at a celebration. It's a morally superior attitude and it's offensive. Just don't serve it.

@Centerpiece, yes, they were bad hosts, and no, we did not say a thing. But we hightailed it out of there to get dinner...at 8:30pm. I was STARVING, and I'm one of those hangry people. Hangry me = bad wedding guest.

I've considered not having a bar, because we have a lot of newly recovered alcoholics in our group, but we'll probably offer well drinks and beer, in the least.

I love our families but they do love to drink, and I'm not looking forward to paying for it.

Krystyna...please don't misunderstand me. I know that today's weddings are obscenely expensive. Added to that is the couple's desire to buy a home, start a family, etc. Young people, especially those planning a wedding, are being assaulted with marketing that is targeted to extract their dollars. If you can't afford alcohol, that's fine. Please, don't go into debt over it. Your wedding will still be beautiful and memorable. It's the "I pity the drinkers because they can't have a good time for six hours at a huge social event without alcohol" people who are insulting. That's not you. Do what's best for you. Now, I'm on the east coast, and I'm going to bed, lol.