No Alcohol

MK, if you have no intention of treating your guest well, then don't have any.

It's about everyone treating each other well.

What is so hard about that concept?

And trust me, I get the point of a wedding. It's what I'm doing there,

So if that is the only point, then stop there. Don't invite anyone, because they WILL have an expectation of being treated well; there are plenty of threads here about weddings gone wrong and how much the posters disliked them. Maybe you haven't been here long enough to read them.

Linda, congrats to both of you. This is your wedding and if you do NOT want to serve alcohol, then don't. Anyone that expects you to serve them alcohol is just being selfish and thinking of no one but themselves. I have been to a few DRY weddings and still had a great time. If people can not enjoy themselves at a wedding without drinking, then maybe they should get HELP, to me it seems like they have a problem.

#dryweddingssuck

My FH is a recovered alcoholic/addict . We chose to do a 'consumption bar' of beer and wine. 50% of our guest are in recovery, so having the consumption bar makes more sense.

In my opinion- culture and sobriety are the only reasons a dry wedding would be completely acceptable. However, I really do suggest doing the beer and wine.

Congrats OP

Congrats on your sobriety.

I have nothing more to add.

I went to a wedding where the groom was sober, the wedding had a bar. It was small with two bartenders, it did not have top shelf liquor it was the "bottom of the barrel" brands if you will. They didn't serve alcohol during dinner which may have preserved people from getting too drunk too early.

The fact of the matter is, despite your choices which I commend you for- people will have an expectation on having a proper glass of wine with their meal. I would limit it to beer/wine or do what most people find tacky but have a wine/beer option for cocktail hour and then switch to cash bar for reception. I personally don't believe in a cash bar at weddings but it might take some stress off your mind and you won't feel weird for paying for alcohol you aren't using.

If you choose to use a cash bar you have to include that on your invite though so guests know what they are walking into.

Yikes I'm late on responding to this but man do some people have distorted logic. I can totally relate to you. My fiancé and I are leaning towards having a dry wedding. And all I hear from some people is "You HAVE to have alcohol!" But my fiancé and I don't drink for religious/personal reasons. Not only that but 25-50% of our guests are from church and also don't drink. AND there will be kids there. I've seen weddings as a large party that you obviously can't hold at your house but you would host just the same. Well when I invite people over, I don't serve them alcohol, nor do I drink it myself, so why would I serve it at my wedding? I also find it disrespectful to my guests who don't drink to bring alcohol around them. They can handle the temptation but it is still a temptation to them and I would rather them just not have to be around it if that's not how they live their lives. It's less disrespectful to just not serve alcohol to those who do drink. Plus some family members on both sides get out of hand when they drink and it's not a matter of babysitting them but more of a matter of I don't want to be around that. It makes me a little uncomfortable and it does that to others as well. I also don't want to expose kids to that. And these are kids that I absolutely want at the wedding and reception too so I'm not just going to not invite them so people can drink.

People will tell you it's bad etiquette or that it's selfish. I maybe understand not serving alcohol because you don't want to spend money on it and have also heard cash bars are bad etiquette. But honestly even if your reasoning is that you truly can't afford to serve alcohol without compromising your venue or caterer, that's fine. I want people to be able to get married and not have to push it off later to save up to have alcohol there. But yeah, dry weddings are not poor etiquette. Maybe it's not pleasurable for some people but it's not bad etiquette. And it's hard to follow every single etiquette rule anyway. If that were the case, I would have an extra 100 guests purely just made of plus ones. You have to pick and choose and customize your wedding and sometimes that means tweaking your etiquette. But you just have to use your judgement!

I fully support people who say you can do what you want because it is your wedding! It is a day about you and your husband or wife. That doesn't necessarily mean everything is about you. You do still have to care for your guests and keep them in mind but they should be there to celebrate you and your marriage.

There are way too many expectations when people go to weddings! Personally, as a bride, I don't EXPECT any of my guests to come. I surely don't expect a gift. I want to make my wedding as convenient as possible. And I want to take care of my guests. So of course I will feed them, provide snacks and desert and plenty of beverages. I'm probably even going to provide gifts for people to take home as a thank you. However, I don't see providing alcohol as necessary to taking care of my guests. I do want to thank them but the reception isn't purely about thanking them. It's a celebration of the wedding that the guests are also involved in. Any guest who EXPECTS alcohol for showing up and giving a gift is in the wrong. If that's the case, don't feel like you have to come to the wedding or provide a gift. I want people there who are purely there to join in celebrating the biggest day of my life with me. I invited them because I love them and hope that they would want to be there on such a big occasion. I chose to invite them out of all the people I had to cut off the original guest list after all. That and celebrating love should be all they need at the wedding. Everything else is extra. If people need to drink that bad they can go home and drink after. It's only 6-8 hours they won't be drinking. They have a lifetime to do it. I also won't be telling people ahead of time that I'm not serving alcohol neucase I don't want anyone sneaking it in.

I know that was a lot and a lot of people are going to have some stuff to say back to me. But at the end of the day, it's your wedding. The people who love you will come no questions asked. You don't have to explain to anyone your reasoning and if you're not comfortable with the alcohol, that's completely acceptable. People who haven't been in your shoes won't get it but don't let the haters get you down! When it comes to weddings, people will always be upset about something. You won't be able to make everyone 100% happy so don't even try to do that. Your wedding should be a reflection of you and if that means no alcohol, that's totally okay!

No, don't have alcohol. Celebrate not only your marriage, but your sobriety, and you can even tell your guests that in a speech. You battled addiction. No one needs to drink alcohol to have a good time. Great job on that sobriety!