New MIL battle - Wishing Well mention on invite???

They have their dishes and towels for two

They have their pots and pans and oven mitts too

So what do you get for the Bride & Groom

Whose house is setup in every room?

Their house needs repairs and some upgrades too

But you can not register for carpet and glue.

A well that holds wishes is the way to go

So lets make it easy for all that know.

An envelope will be provided for those who have room,

To give a monetary wish to the Bride and Groom

A wishing well will be on display at the reception hall

To attach your wishes, for the couple, with love from all.

Never. EVER. Mention registry information or gifts of ANY kind in the invitation. It is beyond rude. Tell your FMIL to stuff it.

Oh, and "in the invitation" includes a separate card.

If you want, you can include a separate card that mentions your website and put the Wishing Well info on the website. That's what I did (except that we have registries).

I personally couldn't believe it was even brought up.... I looked at her like she was crazy. I know my mom has told my side of the family months ago. My aunt mentioned that she was going to put the money in a RED envelope (apparently it's an Australian thing, IDK) My MIL looked at me and said, well they won't call me and I don't want to call them so....

O.o

And then my FH looks at me and says "But don't include it on our friends invitations."

Yeah! cause it's rude.....

Glad you agree Leanna.... less stuff I have to print off.... TY I needed to vent.

Leanna is correct, she can stuff it lol!

But yes, if anything put it on the website..it's very rude to ask for money in the invitation or otherwise really..I mean I had an insert with the website and that registry/hotel info was on the website.in fact I may have just put it on the save the date only; I don't remember.

Do you think your FMIL will go for the website idea? Or maybe you could show her one of the hundreds of etiquette websites that say it's rude...

I told her I would think about the cards. I just won't mention it again and send out the invites and be like.... oh well too late. And leave it at that.

Requesting gifts of any kind on your invitation is rude. I agree, direct your guests to your website and note it there.

Yikes. Just put it on the website. Although I see nothing wrong with registering at home depot. Don't include in invite!

Why are you even discussing it with her? And I also don't see anything wrong with registering at home depot. If you want to make a small registry for people who prefer physical gifts, that would be great too.

No, no no. Register where ever you want but neither the wishing well or the registry should be on the invite.

I agree printing that info on your invites is rude, itsone thing to list your registry info on the bridal shower info so your guests can access your reg easily, but for sure no to the actual wedding invite.

What gets me is that she is apart of the older generations when etiquitte was upmost importance, I assume she was born prior to the 70's...most formal gathering prior to that were very into following etiquitte, she should know better.

Haha that is so tacky! I cant believe she would be all for that. You are totally right though, never ever ever put gift info on invites! add a link to your website and maybe something there- if you dont want a registry, then most people will get you a gift they want or money anyway, I dont think you need to post anything about it.

I am having my RSVP on my website along with all the other information people want to know. If you are worried about people not looking on your website, you can always do that. Also, I don't see a problem with putting it on a separate card. Lets be honest, everyone is going to want to know where you are registered anyway, and those who don't want to get you anything won't care how obvious you make... they still won't.

P.S. I love the poem. So cute!!

Asking for money from your guests is rude, period. Wether you do it in a wishing well, money dance, on the invite, on the website-- these are guests, not subscribers or clients or people making charitable donations.

This hasn't been mentioned here but here is my advice for you, Cynthia.

Make a small registry. Once it runs out, most people will likely decide on their own to give a check, and they won't need to be prompted by a poem to do so.

You can put the link to your registry on a website and should not mention the registry in the invite (but can mention the website) as others have said.

You could upgrade items you already have or register for honeymoon, as many people do now...but yeah, no poem.

My friend was married in March and she included an insert in her invatation stating "the bride and groom are accepting monetary gifts" I was mortified when I read it. It upset me as a guest and upset many of their family members. Gifts are not expected that's why they are gifts!

People will either ask you or the BP where you're registered, or they'll get you cash or a gift themselves. It's considered very rude to ask for or mention gifts anywhere in the invitation.