Need to vent and need advice..

I sorry to hear that but change is hard for some people. They’re old fashioned and mean no harm is my guess. You’re still you whether you announce it to the world o no one knows. Give them time to work through it but also let them know that their words are hurtful to you. They may never understand it but they will most likely just stop talking about it and remember to tell you you love them.

I'm so sorry.

You do not have to contact anyone who is bashing you, hateful to you, or generally unwilling to love and accept you for who you are - and this goes double for family.

If they have a problem with you, they should have the spine to say it to your face. If not, they do not get the privilege of your company.

Only those who love and support you should be at your wedding day. It says far more about them than about you if they are not there.

WOW! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Not taking your family's side at all, but not knowing their ages I can only assume they are older and were likely raised differently. Are they religious and is it a sin in their religion to like the same sex? I know you're hurt and rightfully so.

Long story really short - One of my dearest friends is gay, her religion / church is totally against anything "gay" - She got married without ever telling her family and has been married 5 years - to this day she still doesn't acknowledge her sexuality in front of your immediate family nor do they acknowledge it. The other day she was having marital problems and her mother who is VERY religious reached out to her. When my friend told me this, I asked her was that her mom's way of letting her know she "accepts" her?

So where am I going with this.... Being gay isn't new, it is still frowned upon in a lot of areas. You have a choice, you can not invite your grandma and aunt or you can talk to them honestly. You can tell them what happened that their conversation was taped and the things they said were awful. You would hope that they would love and accept you for you but if they can't you hope they understand that you can't have them or any negativity at your wedding. And one day you hope that they will come around.

Love is not one dimensional, we love who we love and find attractive many many different people. If you parents and FH husband accept you for you, it really doesn't matter that others don't. Your parents and FH will always be your greatest supporters and they are the only ones that matter.

Good luck to you and know you have a community here always willing to listen and help.

Girl I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. My niece is gay and I’ve even just had to hear the remarks and comments from my family members over the years about it. Now fast forward she is married and my mother refused to be apart of her wedding...even the reception. She would not participate because it goes against her religious beliefs and views. So heart breaking. I’ve talked to her about it, but she is pretty set in her ways. She still loves my niece and supports her otherwise by allowing her and her wife live with them, which I don’t get since she wouldn’t attend their wedding. SMH. I hope you can try to talk and reason with them at least about your feelings and what they’ve said about you.

This is a little different than your situation but I used to be very close to my Nana (dads mom) and when my parents (finally) got a divorce when I was 20 I found out that my nana had said some really terrible things about my mom to my dads GF (now wife) at the time. I was so angry because she was all talk about how important it was to 'be more like christ' and treat everyone the way you treat yourself and then she said those things. I ended up writing her a very tasteful email explaining my thoughts and basically ended with "I am sorry but as long as you are disrespecting our family, I cannot keep in touch.' She was so hard headed that she didn't even apologize to me. I was very sweet to her at my dads wedding but to be honest I don't respect people who cannot apologize for their mistakes.

My point is, as difficult as it may be, I really think you should sit down with each one of them and say "Hey look, I need to talk to you about something. This is what I heard and I need to tell you how I feel about it." I really think that you talking with them will at least offer some kind of closure and you will feel good about tackling it before it gets out of hand. They may even feel awful about it.

If they don't apologize then you can decide what you want to do. For me personally, I can tell you that I do NOT surround myself around people who don't want the best for me. It can cause great anxiety, frustration and hurt. This is YOUR day. People should be spoiling you and feeling happy for you. Don't forget that.

I'm so sorry to hear that you have unsupportive family. I understand the feeling of not being accepted. I am also bi, and not out to anyone but my close friends and my FH. My family has been members of a very high demand religion for countless generations and I am the first person to leave the church, and because of this my family has lost respect for me and doesn't care to see how I'm doing or whats up in my life, especially concerning my fiance since we obviously won't have a temple wedding. My parents and siblings have started to come around but not much. Because of this I obviously have not come out and I even though it would be nice to be open about it, I would rather not suffer the comments about it since it'll just bring hate. Especially since my fiance is a man and I'm a women so of course "i'm not actually bi." So anyways, I understand somewhat and I am truly sorry. I hope they can come around!!

Sorry you are going through this. Me personally, I wouldn't reach out. The only people that I want at my wedding are the people who love and support me. I do know that some older people are very religious and stuck in their ways (stubborn) but your wedding day is about you and your fiancé. Honestly, no others should matter that day. I say do whatever makes you happy!