Need help ASAP...thinking about calling off my wedding.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Those would be deal breakers for me... Have you talked to your FH about these concerns?

Have you thought about doing a marriage prep class? You and your FH will go over thing you may or may not have spoken about, it kind of sheds some light on some topics that you might not have thought about. The other thing I was going to say is trust you gut, no one can tell you to leave him or stay with him. But your gut knows.

If you have to ask us, you already know your answer.

This doesn't sound like typical wedding jitters. I would AT LEAST postpone the wedding and get counseling. Does your fiancé know how you feel?

*hugs*

It sounds like you already know the answer. But, if you're both willing to work on things, maybe counseling would help.

I think maybe counselling is a good idea here. It would help you to see if you two can get on the same page or if you're better off not being together.

First, I would say don't let the money spent on the wedding influence your decision. Your happiness is worth more than that - not to mention, a divorce isn't exactly cheap.

I have no idea whether you should call off your wedding or not. Marriage doesn't magically make things better and it doesn't magically make people change. Would you be happy if everyday for the rest of your life is exactly as things are now?

Have you talked to your FH about your concerns?

Have you tried counseling?

Have you talked to him about your feelings?

I feel like that fact that your even considering it, is a huge factor.

Better to end it now than after your married.

I'm sorry your going through this and I hope everything works out for you.

This is a tough one. These are huge red flags and you don't sound like you're having typical pre wedding jitters. Don't worry about the money and don't feel that you have to move forward with it if you aren't comfortable because you've put a lot of money down. Do what is best for you and your child. Hugs and best wishes to you.

Sounds like you've already made the decision. Trust your instincts, do what is right for you and your child.

Thanks everyone. No I haven't talked to him about this yet. He's rarely home when I'm home! I was thinking about discussing this tomorrow because it's his night off. I'm sick to my stomach because I think I know the answer. I got zero sleep last night, I just can't shake the feeling that this isn't right

I'm sorry but divorce is more expensive than calling off a wedding. My mom married my dad and wished she hadn't. She said it's never too late to call it off, my dad convinced her to because they had already sent out invitations. Wouldn't you rather your child have a good healthy family or role model rather than be in a family where his mom is unhappy?

I hate it when women sacrifice their happiness for the sake of their kids and nobody is happy in the end.

It sounds to me like he's immature and you really want a good family for your child VS. wanting to marry him for him. Drugs would be a deal breaker for me.

I think you need to ask yourself (and I'm curious)

If you didn't have a child together would you still marry this man?

Always follow your gut.

It sounds like you know what you need to do, even if it sucks.

I would give him an ultimatum before you cancel, if you haven't already....

Sweetheart, I think you already know your answer. Trust yourself.

You've answered your own question. Look at it from a larger perspective. If you marry him now knowing what you know then it likely will not get better and the possibility of divorce. A divorce is a lot harder to get out of compared to calling everything off now. But mostly importantly you want to provide your child with a home life you are comfortable and secure in for the long run.

All of those things would be deal breakers for me. Every single one. I think you already know that he isn't the right man to marry (if he's even a man at all, he sounds like a child). Don't marry him -- getting married doesn't fix a bad relationship.