My sister is refusing to come to my destination wedding

View Quoted Comment I don’t think anyone was saying making a marriage legal isn’t extremely important. However I agree that the date on the paper doesn’t necessarily have to have significant importance. If it’s important for you to celebrate your marriage on the date it was legalized, great! If you make it legal then have a beautiful ceremony at a later date, then you can celebrate that day as your wedding. I’ve known people who did both and I would never question the legitimacy of what they consider their wedding.

My sister had the nerve to tell me I'm bragging about my wedding an she's my matron of honor she's making me feel like she's jealous of me an for me being happy I ask her to do things for the wedding she keeps pushing me away by saying I can't deal with right don't talk to me about this right so I just stop saying anything to her about my wedding because I'm noticing that she clearly isn't for team Johnson.

View Quoted Comment Yes! A wedding is so much more than a piece of paper, it doesn't make any sense that people think the legality is the real wedding. The ceremony is also a real wedding. If you are of faith, it isn't even about the legality at all! What does the legality even really mean, let us be honest? People are being more judgmental than empathetic and claiming she is being selfish. She was clear that her sister was not going because she doesn't want to go to Ireland, not because of cost. When you care about someone, you keep them in your priorities. Why should she sacrifice a wedding of her dreams because the other person "doesn't feel like going?" Yet the person that doesn't want to do something just because they don't want to do it, even though it would make her sister so incredibly happy and it obviously means the world to her... that is somehow justified? People throw around the word "force " quite a bit, but no one is forcing-- her will is happening regardless of the bride's feelings. However, choices... why are we not allowed to talk about whether we are making choices out of love and respect? Her sister is clearly not respecting her yet she is respecting her sister. When you love someone and support them, you want them to be happy, but that works both ways. So, since they want different things... do we prioritize the bride having her dreams come true or do we prioritize the sister's right to feel inconvenienced? (Again, it is clear this is -not- about finances, so mentioning finances is irrelevant to these arguments). Just be kind and keep priorities based on doing things out of love, positivity, hope, kindness, and fulfillment. Look at who is the one being optimistic here and understand the reasoning the sister has is of ill-will and negativity (again, not finances, and literally by-definition not "force"). I pray this bride had a wonderful wedding regardless of anything else. Sometimes we get so caught-up in our own unhappiness that we forget to empathize and act through love and reasoning (assessing priorities and our true reasoning for being negative-- it is obvious there is something more that the sister is spiting... I hope some positivity and happiness made its way the bride's sister too, for whatever she was going through that created this negativity). I hope the sisters can or did make amends. I apologize for the lengthy response, I'm just very surprised and dismayed by the negativity and lies this bride had to endure, just to come here and get more of it. To the bride: it is a lie that you "forced" anything or were selfish. It hurts when people you'd do anything for, don't do the same for you, when they are plenty able to. It hurts when they are very negative for no rational reason or for very trivial reasons, when their outlook on things is so negative and lacks consideration of how much it matters to the person they're supposed to support and be there for with love. Be well.