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Just Said Yes January 2018

My sister is in the wedding and wants to bring a 2 week old baby

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Jaime, on June 5, 2017 at 3:00 PM

About 2 years ago I donated my eggs to my sister so that she could have a child. It went very well and she was able to create 19 viable embryos! After my fiance and I had already selected and announced our wedding date, put down deposits, and selected our wedding party, she moved forward with impregnating a surrogate. Before she did this she let me know that the baby would be due around the same time as my wedding. Now the surrogate is pregnant and due the day before the wedding. More than likely (because this is through IVF), the baby will be early and she will have a 2 week old baby the day of my wedding. She doesn't want to drop out as a bridesmaid and is insisting that she can bring the baby to the wedding and my mother can leave with the baby early during the reception. Having the father watch the baby doesn't seem to be an option, but I want my mother to be there and able to be a part of things. Do I draw the line with my sister or do I let them decide and just deal?

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94 Comments

Dedicated June 2018
Noelle · on June 6, 2017 at 10:32 PM
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She needs to find a baby sitter that is not going to the wedding. No one who is part of the wedding should be baby sitting and she shouldn't have to back out because of the baby
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Master December 2016
Elizabeth · on June 6, 2017 at 10:51 PM
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What you said is:

"I disagree with anyone who says that she can bring the baby if she wants to. We are having an adults only reception, and we would have to make an exception for her that we are not making for anyone else who has children. She doesn't get to decide if the baby is invited, we do and that may mean she doesn't come."

You didn't say anything about standing up with the baby. Of course she wouldn't stand up with the baby. But you did say she doesn't get to decide if the baby is invited, implying you wouldn't invite the baby. IMO, 2-week-olds get an automatic invite if you expect the mom to attend.
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VIP May 2017
Miranda · on June 6, 2017 at 10:59 PM
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Why isn't the dad an option to watch the baby? Your mom shouldn't have to leave early
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Master June 2017
Jacky · on June 6, 2017 at 11:06 PM
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Congratulations to your sister! But, it it doesn't matter how a baby is conceived, you can't predict when they will be born other than the due date. Also, she really should not be bringing the baby anywhere within two or so weeks after birth. Doctors warn against it for risk of illnesses and infections. Their immune systems are not developed enough, so it really does not matter if they're healthy or not. She really should make other arrangements with a sitter or it could be a huge risk.
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VIP October 2017
FutureMrsQ2017 · on June 6, 2017 at 11:25 PM
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Honestly, I would have zero problem if my family member wanted to bring a baby to my wedding after struggling so long to have her own! She is probably so proud to finally have that baby and thinks its special that you were a big part in her being able to have the baby. I also think though that it probably isn't the healthiest for the baby to be around so many people whether its two weeks or a couple days after birth. AND she definitely shouldn't make your mom leave to take care of her!
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Super November 2018
Future Mrs.N · on June 6, 2017 at 11:29 PM
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Tell her no. Babies need to be sheltered from mass crowds for a couple months. What if the baby get whooping cough from someone? Or broncitious? Both a potentially deadly to a baby that young
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Just Said Yes January 2018
Jaime · on June 7, 2017 at 7:06 PM
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@elizabeth I went on to say that I tried to ask her to step down as BM and she insisted that she could still stand up. I said that I wanted her there but it may be easier if she were a guest and not BP.
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