My sister is in the wedding and wants to bring a 2 week old baby

This is a bit of a catch 22. As much as you want your sister there for you and it seems like she wants to be there, it may not be the best idea for the baby. But being that she is having a surrogate, there is definitely a period of bonding time needed in the first couple of weeks.

On the other side it is between you, her and your mom to express your feelings on who would leave early with the baby. Everyone needs to sit down and have a conversation about this. But as a PP has said over the next 7 months lots of things can change when it comes to pregnancy. The baby could end up coming late, or much earlier.

@Alana-What are you going to do when you have a child? Hole up for 6 months? I took my kid out to restaurants, libraries, the doctor's office, Urgent Care, other people's homes with children all within the first 3 weeks of his life. We went visiting and hiking and just out and about. It was the middle of winter. He didn't get his first cold until he was two and started daycare.

Jessiejv there is a difference between school age and newborn. I'm glad your baby didn't get sick from you taking him/her out at that age. Not saying you're a bad mom you were just lucky. I personally attended 2 funerals of newborns where the babies were perfectly healthy and the moms took them out at 2 weeks and 4 weeks old and they both died within days of their moms taking them out because they caught a cold that their bodies nor the doctors could fight off.

I would let your sister bring the baby. I don't see your concern being about the health of the baby but of your mom and sister being able to attend. At that age I would not want to be separated from my child so I would not ask that of someone else. I would let your mom and your sister sort this out themselves. I personally wouldn't leave early from my child's wedding and would help with the baby but would not just leave.

Elphaba, babies through IVF usually come early.

Most 2 week olds do nothing but sleep so I think it would be ok but your sister needs to get a babysitter for ceremony and reception. Your mom should not have to be the one to take care of the baby. You only get 1 wedding day. She shouldn't have to miss it

Jessiejv I have 3 kids. I never said I didnt have kids and I stayed home with them for 6 weeks and they went to daycare. Again I'm not saying all babies die. I just said you were lucky. Calm down I was just giving a con to your pro goodness

First, you did something incredible for your sister and that is wonderful.

That aside, I hope that the pediatrician will advise your sister against this plan, but understand this may mean she can't make your wedding. The timing isn't ideal but the most important things are the baby is healthy and you get married.

Everyone that I know who has had a newborn takes them out right away @Alana, my guess is that there was a preexisting condition that was not identified with those babies. Also, if I'm not mistaken, the US has a higher than normal infant mortality rate than the rest of the Western world because of other issues.

ETA: @Alana-I stayed home for 7 months with my kid, what does that have to do with anything? I went out and about with him almost every day. I wasn't going to be chained to my house!

Ok ok ok. Jessie that's fine. I understand what you're saying. I'll say it again. I'm not calling you a bad mom or anything just as you were I was stating a fact that I have come across. If you took your babies out that's fine. I stayed home with mine. Doesnt make either one of us bad parents. Smh

There are a ton of factors as it relates to surrogates and IVF. It was not like your sister just said one day time to have a kid and boom the surrogate got pregnant. The reality is it takes a long time and a lot of red tape. Be happy for her that she will have a child and if she wants to bring the baby to the ceremony and reception that should be her choice.

The real question is, does your mom want to leave the wedding early. If anything your sister should be the one to leave early to care for her child which more than likely is still going to happen. I would suggest having a conversation between the 3 of you.

Why cant the father leave with the baby?

Just because you would take your baby out at 2 weeks and I wouldn't doesnt make your comment right and mine wrong Jessiejv. Its your opinion and I have my opinion. My view is I wouldnt take a 2 week old out. Your opinion is you would. And thats fine for you but going to libraries...restaurants...urgent care...and wherever else you took your children isnt half as long as sitting thru a ceremony and reception. But again your perception is take them its fine. Mine is stay home or leave the newborn home. End of story. No one is right or wrong here.

Kids need time to build up an immune system. Diseases and infections can affect an infant much more severely than an adult, so there's good reason to be concerned about her having a newborn at a wedding (with drinking and loud music and relatives always reaching for a kiss).

It's still early in the pregnancy as well. With time, your sister may have a change of heart. Same as when the baby is born.

I would ask her to consider NOT being in the wedding party though. You didn't mention her role, but if it's something like doing a reading, etc, I recommend having a backup or getting someone else to do it. Again, your sister may decide NOT to attend once the baby gets here or the pregnancy advances.

@Alana-Your paranoia is not normal though. Most people take their babies out. There are several doctor's appointments within the first month alone that mitigate having to take your baby out. I was on Maternity leave for 7 months, my FH took the last 5 months and has been a SAHP since. Our kid is only sick when he's been to nursery school or with groups of other kids. It's life. For the first two years of his life, he never had so much as a cold and he was out and about all the time. I used to meet up with other moms on Mat leave at the same time I was off, so I know I wasn't the only one taking my kid out.

PS, I didn't call anyone a good or bad parent, I just said what my experience is. You are putting specific connotations of good/bad on it, trying to elicit a guilt response.

I had my twins 6 weeks early and 9 days before Christmas. We still went out for Christmas with them and Boxing Day. They were around probably at least 30 people in that time.

I know one person who wouldn't leave the house for the first 6 weeks. There is 0 difference in health as everyone else's children.

@Helena-But Alana's not calling us bad moms...

Um why can't the father "watch" the baby?

FYI it's not "watching" the baby when you're a parent. It's just being a parent.

It doesn't matter what any of us think. It's her sister's decision to make.