My RB has autism

How old is he? Depending on his level of autism and seeing that your wedding is 2 years from now, you will have plenty of time to wait it out and see. He has autism but he still more than likely will be able to perform the duties of a ring bearer but again, just wait and see.

Yeah I agree with Kimberly L. It all depends on his level of Autism. My son has 'high functioning' Autism and he is my RB. He is perfectly functionable, just really emotional. There is a whole spectrum when it comes to the severity of Autism.

He is 2 now and be 3 in a few months. I am devastated for her. But I will wait and see Kimberly L.

HI- I am guessing that is you picked him as the RB then you have at least some sort of relationship with him or his family? I would not change anything, I think that would be very rude. The parents will let you know if they think he can't make it through the ceremony or something. Sorry but Autism is a very serious diagnosis and is probably pretty hard for the family to adjust to, bringing up your weddings needs would be unacceptable at this time (not saying you were planning on it). Hope their family gets a good surprise and it’s a diagnosis of very mild autism.

Yeah I have worked with children who have autism (at a camp I taught at) and we would have never known one of the students was autistic if his Mom hadn't told us on the last day. He was very high functioning and just came off as being very shy compared to the other students. Wait it out and hopefully he will still be able to be your RB

I work with autistic children everyday. I am a special education teacher in a structured learning room just for autistic students. They love routines. I would not cross him out at your RB. Just treat the even as a routine. Have him learn what he has to do, and do it many times before the actual day. My class just did a program at school (I have 2nd and 3rd Grade 3-verbal/4-nonverbal) and we practiced it every afternoon. It became routine for them, and they did beautifully once the day arrived for the real deal. He may experience sensory issues with large groups of people, so I would recommend having a few items ready for him. 1. A pair of headphones-just incase he has sensory issues with sound. 2. A parent close by 3. Rewards that he enjoys. Many autistic kiddos love some sort of reward or personal item, such as a stuffed animal.

Don't cross him out though..It will work out

I was not suggesting to just drop him off. I mean we just found a couple of days ago. I am not some heartless person, I mean my son has ADHD and he can become irritable and emotional to handle...I do not know much about autism, but I know my co-worker well, and I know she is devastated about this. I feel bad for her. Calling me rude or selfish, is not the way to go at it, Ms. Kari. I was just asking for an opinion not some personal attack. I see that both Future Mrs. J and Shannon were helpful. Right now I just been praying for my co-worker and her family.

Check out this offbeat bride post. This flower girl had autism and they let her wear a yoda bookbag, very cute. So it can be done!

http://offbeatbride.com/2011/10/yoda-flower-girl

"T, the flower girl, had spent the morning hiding under the bed. She has autism, and the prospect of an event with all those people was pretty daunting. T's aunty finally coaxed her out from under the bed with the promise of a Yoda backpack.

Her aunt took her to the toy shop, and from that moment on Yoda sat on her shoulder and she seemed to feel safe with him there.

When it came time to put on the dress and head to the church T flat refused to go without Yoda on her shoulder. Her mother, the bride, said to her family "If Yoda helps T get to the church and walk down that aisle with all those people watching, then Yoda is coming!"

Our RB also has autism and so does one of our flower girls.I see no reason why they shouldn't be in the wedding I guess it just depends on the child.

Ive worked with austistic kids before. I used to work in a classroom that varied from moderate to severe autism. I would maybe do a run through to see how well he does. I have noticed that kids with autism, if you give them a task and have an incentive, they do really well.

having a child with austism can be a struggle in itself. i saw kids get bullied while i was in school and stuff. your friend is in my prayers too. can be a tough job but very rewarding!

Want to hear a positive autism story?

My friend's oldest son was diagnosed with severe autism with mild retardation about 10 years ago at age two. Through all the helpful services, programs, and classes her son has made Amazing progress and is now considered high function autism. With continued assistance, he could very well go on to live as normal an adult life as the rest of us.

If you & his mother feel that he can handle it, and all the people being there won't overwhelm him, I would continue with plans for him to be RB.

My son has Asperger's, which is a form of high functioning autism. The thing to remember is that your RB is no more disabled the day after the diagnosis than he was the day before. And autism is not even something that tends to get worse with age--if anything, it gets better. So if being a RB is something that you considered him capable of doing before this news, then he can still do it. If being a RB is something that you didn't consider him capable of doing before this news, but you hoped he'd grow into, then he still has two years to grow into it. At 4, he'll be relatively old for a ring bearer, which should help to compensate for any developmental delays resulting from the autism. And having his mother talk it up to him between now and then, and perhaps having him practice, can really help. Changes in routine are the hardest thing for autistic kids, so anything they know about in advance is easier than anything that is just sprung on them.

Oh, and for the record? My son was our dude of honor. It was a bit difficult for him, because he is still very shy about standing up "in public." But with plenty of advance warning, he managed to help at the ceremony, say one of the blessings, and even give a wonderful toast.

Sorry I was not personally attacking you La-Kia you asked if you should start looking for a fill in or stand by... since you found out the diagnosis of your friends child. I was saying I didn't think you should look at all. I think the relationship you already developed with the child would shine through over anything. Sorry again, that is one thing I can't stand about these forums anything can be taken the wrong way. I actually think blogging like this might be a more stressful part of the planning process than fun. Good luck all Wedding wire girls I am out!

He can be taught what to do. I would keep him in the wedding.

Like everyone has said if you thought he could be your RB before he was diagnosed, he could do it after the diagnosis.

My nephew has autism. He is 9 and functions at the level of a 5 year old. So he is behind, but he has come a long way. We didn't use him as a RB because he is very shy and I don't think he could understand what to do.

My best friend growing up had Aspergers (he actually was diagnosed with schizophrenia too). I didn't know he had autism when I was young. I knew he was different but I didn't know he had that until I was older. It took him 4 extra years to graduate high school but he stuck with it. He wasn't put in a special school, he stayed at the "normal' school I went to and just did like half days.

It baffles me how much kids are diagnosed with autism now days. It is crazy.

I say no. I am quite sure he is still able to walk down the aisle, with a parent if necessary.

My 12 yr old son has autism.and I agree with colleen l. that he can be taught..if the times comes and he is having problems with following directions then have someone walk with him..maybe even practice with some skittles or m&m's and everytime he trys give him a piece of candy or some kind of prize..he will be inspired to do it with a prize at the end trust me..he will be fine!

Oh and by the way i dont think you are rude at all for asking this question you weren't sure so you asked a question. no one should call you rude for that!..good luck to you and to the little guy..he will be in my prayers

Hi my name is Cecilia. I am getting married July 15, 2016...my nephew/R.B, who will be 3 on July 25th was just diagnosed with autism about a month ago. He still going to be my R.B, and I've already been thinking of ways to make his walk down the aisle as easy as possible! One idea it to ask guest to be as quiet as possible, and to please refrain from taking any photos. Are there any other tips out there that could help? Also how did you tell your guest to let them be aware of the situation?