My family doesn't care about my wedding

Part of me thinks it's that you're having a Thursday wedding?

Not bashing your choice, just trying to look at it from different perspectives.

For some of your family it is coming from a good place - they think they are doing you a favor by "helping" you cut costs. This is especially true with parents who will never stop parenting you. Unfortunately sometimes it is coming from people are assholes, but you wouldn't want to share your wedding plans with them anyways, right?

I think using so many "Friendors" is a bad move. I am with Tina-I think part of it is the Thursday wedding, another part is the Friendors. Do you think it is really OK to use your loved ones to partially fund your wedding?

Yep, biggest lesson learned for me was that, other than very general statements when asked about wedding plans, it is best to keep the discussion to a minimum, if at all. It seems so much of the drama with family/friends,etc. that others experience as well around their wedding on here is that brides involve others FAR more than they need to, especially when others are not paying for the wedding.

I've heard some of that too -I have one family member that likes to tell me how 'they' did it (nearly 50 years ago) and they think it is ridiculous to have a sit-down dinner for a reception. Even if the wedding occurs at or near a meal time, she sees no need 'to feed all those people - they are grown and should know to eat before or after they come to the wedding!" SMH

Bottom line: you're letting others 'poison' what should be a joyous time of preparation. Don't have wedding conversations with them anymore and enjoy what YOU want for yours and your FH's day!!

Well the complaining is coming from my grandma and the friendors asked to do this for me I didn't ask anyone... My fiancés family is fantastic they are the ones who want to do the bbq... I wanna make it very clear I didn't ask anyone for any services the friends that are doing my stuff they wanted to do this they are excited for me.. It's only my side that's complaining. It's just discouraging. Thanks for the help you guys

So it's just grandma who is complaining? Let her! And then get her a corsage and see how she shows off

I agree with what the other ladies mentioned. You do what is best for you and FH. I had a few family members ask why I was having a destination wedding and why I didn't go to the court house. My response was, because that is what we want. We are paying for our wedding ourselves. We are not hurting anyone. Family and friends have a lot going on in their own lives and no one is going to be as happy about (your) wedding as you are. It's something I understand now and have come to terms with. You have to be happy for you and FH. This community was created to have brides talk about their wedding with other brides and get suggestions. You have us. Try not to let others, family or friend effect your happiness. I know it can be hard, but it can be done.

Uhm, just stop talking to them about it. Problem solved. If you don't tell them/start the conversation, there's no opportunity for them to make negative comments. If they start a conversation, tell them you're no longer discussing wedding details and if they continue pushing, walk away.

I think you should have the wedding you want and can afford. Sounds to me like they are jealous that they didn't have big weddings

After I read your initial post, I was wondering what would cause family members to repeat the refrain, "You don't need this" or "You don't need that". Unless you owe money to these people, why would they care where you're spending your money? Then, I wondered what you might be asking people to do for your wedding (or, conversely, what people offered to do and you accepted).

Perhaps your family members believe you're taking advantage of peoples' kindness by building such a large network of friendors to work your wedding (I just did a massive wedding yesterday. Once again, I thought of the brides on WW who mention florists doing their weddings for just the cost of the product, and once again, I told myself those "florists" are nuts). Maybe your family has an issue with the fact that you refer to all of these friends as "resources" for your classy wedding. Maybe they don't understand why a friend of a friend is "gifting" you photography (why IS a friend of friend gifting you photography, and if they offered, why would you accept?). I have a feeling this is what they really don't want to hear about. I doubt it's because they don't want you to shine.

Who knows? If you don't like being brought down, stop talking to them about it -- after all, as you say, since they're not paying for it, it's not their damn business anyway.

Lol family not caring. My mom doesn't even know my date. I really only talk to of my friends.. one loves planning and the other is getting married 6 weeks before me.. assuming she won't care after her wedding

Yes please. For your sanity stop discussing it with them. If they ask just say it's going to be a lovely day can't wait to see you all there and smile.

I relate. My father rest his soul was soooo negative. He was critical of everything and anything different than how he did something was wrong and extremely suspect. I know he would do that we're he still here so I learned to not discuss anything ahead of time.

Have the wedding you want and know that their negativity is about them and their insecurities.

Once I internalized that it freed me to not Ned anyone's approval. You're going to have a wonderful wedding!