My Bachelorette party was very stressful

I wasn't the one who was supposed to drive but the bridesmaid that said she was bringing a 7 seater brought a car instead...

Then I said maybe we shouldn't go downtown and spend more on food and getting through crazy traffic so instead I insisted on Chick fil et.

I paid for myself and my sis again, but I expected that since I picked it anyway. We had a great time being able to talk to each other and I know the girls loved it too but I wasn't prepared to pay this much. After that we were trying to figure something out so I suggested getting mikos italian ice on this day. So I drove everyone there and I didn't have cash and one of the girls offered to pay for me and my sis. But then she said they do accept card and got her italian ice. I finally got my italian ice last and just paid for it too. It was good though and we had a nice walk. I was able to give them the jewelry to wear for the wedding I paid for with additional earrings they said they'd pay me back for, and didn't. We all took pictures by a park and decided it was time to go home at 8. They asked if I wanted to see a movie and I told them its a bit more than I can afford and said it will be late getting all of the girls home. So I traveled near and far again to drop them off and got home at 11. I was exhausted and really upset, I told FH and he was upset I paid for everything saying it was an unorganized outing and not a bachelorette. He didn't pay for his weekend getaway with his groomsmen, didn't pay a penny at all. And what I don't get at all is that it was originally going to be a surprise, it certainly would have been a surprise not knowing what I could have paid. I did prepare $50 just in case but I spent way more than that because of my sister and her losing her money...I just could have used the day to work on last minute things and I'm just even more stressed out! Am I overreacting?

I don't think you're overreacting, but I also wish you would have stopped "offering" things: you offered up Chick-fil-A, you offered up getting Italian ice. As far as transportation is concerned, I would have straight up said, "so who is driving me?" I wouldn't have offered to drive either.

TEW MUCH. Just seems like your peeps didn't really know wtf they were doing, and weren't too thoughtful.

I would have set the expectation with my sister she was paying my back. It sounds like you enjoyed the day except for the money part. It seems they were more organized until you changed plans. One friend even lost money because you changed the plans. Would it have been nice for them to pay yes but by the sounds of it they probably couldn't afford to.

Yeah I don't plan on talking to them about it but it does affect our wedding budget. We've been so careful with making sure we don't eat out or get anything extravagant and here I am getting it. FH has been sacrificing and so have I and we're very simple anyway. I've only been to the nail salon once before so I didn't understand anything at all.

I had talked to them about matching jewelry and what would they like and I offered to pay for matching necklaces and bracelets and told them maybe they can wear simple studs they already have. I showed them that my sis bought some matching earrings and they told me to get the earrings for them too and they'll pay me back.

This sounds like a case if they don't know better. Is this their first time being bridesmaids.

@GymRat yeah I wasn't trying to sound like I was offering these places, but the alternatives were going to be way more expensive. They wanted to eat downtown, I didn't want to drive downtown or pay for parking and even more expensive food. The italian ice was the cheapest of the day anyway. After the mani pedi payment I already knew I'd pay for the rest times 2 because of my sis. I didn't offer to drive but its my parents van so I didn't want anyone else driving it.

Why do people even do these anymore?

3 of them have been bridesmaids before. I even insisted before that they didn't have to plan anything and that its last minute and I could use the time to finish wedding preparations. But she said that my FH shouldn't have all of the fun and its important to not stress and step away from all of that.

I'm sorry you had that kind of experience. It really wasn't planned with people's pockets in mind, especially yours since you shouldn't have had to pay for anything (with the exception of helpi g your sis). You are good for going along with the day. Personally I would have driven everyone home after paying for me and my sister's Mani Pedi.

So bachelorette parties aren't required, but some thought should go into them if they have one. For one thing, why wasn't your sister, at the very least, paying for you? I understand she's 16, but did your parents not tell her that for a bach party, the bridesmaids chip in?

It sounds like your friends wanted to do something nice for you, which they did, but they couldn't really afford it. You guys sound very young to me, like late teens/early 20s and this is perhaps everyone's first time being bridesmaids.

In the end, a bachelorette party is really just girls' night and nothing more and you had that so try not to taint the memory after the fact. Your wedding budget will survive an unexpected night out (and if it won't, that's a problem with your budgeting, not with the one night out).

Happy wedding week!

The first words out of my mouth would have been "alright - whose driving my van?" You shouldn't have offered anything. If your sister is 16, maybe you can talk to your parents and they might be able to pay you back for her portion of the day?

I'm sorry you had to spend all that money and no one offered to pay for you

And Celia, I'd say people do them because it's usually a lot of fun. I mean I could be wrong though.

I'd be upset too. Sounds like you guys should have just maybe stayed in, ordered take out etc. I see their hearts may have been in the right place but their funds were not.

This is the kind of stuff that makes people realize they can't afford other people's weddings!

Uugh... that sucks! We decided with friends to just do a mixed get together for a concert that we all wanted to see and everyone just bought their own tickets. It was a freakin blast (we got picked up tho) very low stress and pretty informal. So glad we did that but sorry yours was stressful. :+(

Yes I would be upset.

Agree 100% with Celia. Bach parties have become so extravagant and unaffordable. I'm all for a simple night out with the girls over some drinks and girl talk.

Nothing against extravagant or destination bach parties, just saying if it's too much for your pockets don't do them. You seem very sweet and probably wouldn't have cared if they would've done something less expensive and simple.

Nonetheless your wedding is in 6 daysss!!!! Perk up!

Throughout this story I found myself asking "why?" numerous times. Why would you get an expensive gel set if you don't have the money? Why would you drive? Why would you suggest Italian ice when you had no more money? Why would you expect your bridesmaids to pay for their jewelry after all of this? Why would you drive everyone home? Did you pick everyone up too? I would have called it a day after paying for the basic mani/pedi.. Sorry you had a bad time but really nothing you can do about it now.

Does anyone do a Bridesmaids' Luncheon anymore?

I'm more curious how people can be unprepared for a painting class

This is so strange. It sounds like no one could afford to do anything and therefore the entire thing should not have happened.

Also, this comment is odd: "I've only been to the nail salon once so I didn't understand anything at all". Umm, you don't understand how to read a price list? You ended up with gel nails - once of the most expensive nail treatments - by accident?

@Blair Waldorf

One of the girls booked a painting class for 9 am and told me about it after she paid a deposit. I asked her if theres a minimum amount of people that have to do it and she said no.A day later she kept asking everyone when they can pay her back because there have to be at least 4 people doing it and they ended up going to me and telling me they couldn't afford it. So I told her to see if she can get her money back in any way and if she can cancel it. So no one really was prepared to be there at 9am or pay for it from what they told me.