Murder Mystery Party with a surprise wedding

If there's ANYONE whose absence would make you sad, this is not a great idea.

Guests will not travel from out of town for a murder mystery dinner. They most likely will not arrive on time for a murder mystery dinner. They will not value a murder mystery dinner on their schedule the way the would value a wedding. Your parents/close family and friends might be very hurt to not be included in the planning, excitement.

I really love this idea. Great food, freak drinks, great memories. As long as they can all get home safely. Some may decide to drink for the occasion but hadn't organized a DD or place to crash.

My main concern would be people missing this event because it's just a "murder mystery dinner".

I love Murder Mystery Dinners! I would say that maybe some people may not come if they thought it was just a dinner and not a wedding, but I guess you could always contact any NOs and just let them know whats really going on and ask they keep it quiet...

We really wanted to throw a surprise wedding event, but we really wanted to guarantee certain people would be there, so we opted not. We were torn between "if they don't want to join us, eff them" and "it is a lot easier to skip out on this, but would clear their calendar for us for something more important." Sounds like so much fun, but you'd have to be certain the people you love most will attend.

We went to a murder mystery dinner last year and it was the worst evening ever. If someone were to invite us to one we'd definitely skip it...and then I'd be super sad I missed a surprise wedding (assuming I was close with the person!).

I like this more for a combined bachelorette/bachelor party with all your friends.

A wedding, not so much.

Something about the words "wedding" and "surprise" just do not mesh well to me.

That sounds like so much fun! I love murder mystery parties. The only problem could be that important people might not come because they're not going to prioritize it like they would for a wedding. But if that's not a concern for you, then I say go for it!

Our invite list is about 40 people, and all but one aunt are local. I'd let her in on it so she could come (she can keep a secret!)

Because you have to RSVP and characters are assigned, people don't tend to flake - the party can't work right if someone doesn't show. Since it's clear in advance that RSVP is needed, and everyone's timely entrance makes the game work, I don't anticipate people flaking.

I really don't WANT family and friends involved in the wedding. I've done that version of a wedding, and am trying to avoid the drama and arguments and tears about competing visions. We just want to have a fun party and be married.

Why not just tell them it's to celebrate your marriage and ask for no gifts? Likelihood is after the party if you keep it a surprise your friends and family will send you gifts anyway

Welp, if you don't care if friends or family come... I'm wondering why bother?

I know if it was my family they would be mad that they didn't know ahead of time it was a wedding lol

M - Our family is small and close. They get together on a regular basis for parties and get togethers and everyone shows, even without a wedding involved. We recently had a housewarming and everyone that said they'd come, came. I'm not sure where you think we don't care if family comes?

Telling my family in advance is a good way to get ALL THE OPINIONS!! on what a wedding is SUPPOSED to be. We don't want any of that. I don't want to have a traditional wedding, which is what is expected if I announce it as such.

We're not doing a bachelor/bachelorette party, or bridal shower, or any regular wedding accoutrements. We were talking about eloping, but want to have the party with people we love still. It's really about a fun party and ending the night married, not all the build up to it.

I don't want them involved in decision making. I want them to show up for the party, not give all their ideas on what we should do. It's not a wedding without the chicken dance! It's not a wedding if you don't include your second cousin twice removed on the invite list! It's not a wedding if you don't have salmon - I don't care if your partner is allergic! THAT'S the part I don't want.

I don't really care about the wedding. I care about the marriage. I just want a fun party with my partner and our close circle.

I think this is awesome!! My only two suggestions would be to tell your parents (if they'll care to know beforehand) and make sure you have a professional officiant. If they're cool they might even be willing to play a part in the mystery.

As long as you do this all the time and know they'll all come/won't get your feelings hurt if someone doesn't, I say go for it!

Ok, so then you risk the fact that someone may not show up. If you're confident everyone will (if my sister invited me to this, for example, I would NEVER go, it sounds like absolute hell to me), then there's no worry.

I love murder mystery dinners but i would not want my wedding to be a murder mystery. Maybe just let them know its a Murder mystery wedding so people you want there will show up.

You don't want all the opinions, but you don't seem to understand that that's just a fact of life. Your families are always going to have opinions about everything you do.

"Why are you having kids so soon? Enjoy yourselves together first!"

"Why are you waiting so long to have kids?"

"Why would you want to rent an apartment? Buy a house!"

"Buying means maintenance costs. Keep renting."

You're going to get it no matter what. Just smile, say "I'll keep that idea in mind", then go about your business anyways. Just because they give opinions doesn't mean you have to act on them. You can't let your families control your lives.

I'm in agreement with pp. I don't think a surprise wedding is a good idea. If someone decides day of they're just not feeling up to it, they may flake out on a dinner party; the same most likely wouldn't be said for a wedding.

Besides, if everyone is in a character, how will they know the wedding is real anyways? They may think it's just part of the show. Not a great way to start a marriage, if you ask me.

What if you planned a regular wedding with a murder mystery theme? The whole bridal party could be the characters (if they agree) while the guests watch and participate in solving the mystery.

Sounds fun. I have a pair of friends who got married as part of a D&D game. They invited who was important to them and then their ceremony got incorporated into the game.

If you think that you will be able to get the attendance you want with no one cancelling last minute, then go for it.

As for planning it, no idea how to go about that. You are entering uncharted territory and will likely get the advice you've been getting from this thread. Plan what you want and go from there.