Mother of the Groom

View Quoted Comment I did misunderstand, and a. happy to hear this. I still think just a picture, not other clothing or memorabilia, is appropriate at a memorial table.

View Quoted Comment While I'm glad you are sticking up for yourself and your son/dil, I am sorry you had to confront this. I am sure it couldn't have been easy. I wish you the best of luck, a beautiful wedding for your son, and for you to find love and happiness you deserve. ❤

This wedding has absolutely nothing to do with your bf and his feelings and everything to do with your son and his future wife. I actually have 2 people in my wedding party that are married and they are walking down the aisle with other people. Their spouses are not in the wedding. Neither of them is upset about it at all. We chose people we are closest too. You bf is very selfish, and frankly childish and very disrespectful. He is making the wedding about him with no regard to your feelings or your son's feelings. Disparaging the name of your deceased husband is just he icing on the cake. The ONLY part I can see being uncomfortable is him not being able to sit with you at the reception (if I read that part correctly). But even still...you guys can still dance together, and probably even sit together while other people are dancing. I am with the others, I would be evaluating that relationship.

My Condolences on your sons Father passing. I understand your boyfriend feels left out, but he has to understand this day is out of your control. If you want to sooth how he is feeling, then maybe you should plan something special for you two after the wedding. Pnce again He just fêels left out. He needs to understand how important he is to you right now. After your son is married it will be you and him if their are no more children at home. Accomodate him with your live and compassion.

I feel awful by the position he is putting you into. Its not his wedding, he is not paying for it and if he did respect you he would take all you wrote as the facts. If this is threatening the relation I think you should start reconsidering your options.

I'm surprised that someone who you only been seeing for a year is being so demanding! He doesn't like your dress and throws a fit? Demands to be at a head table with you etc? Sorry, but I would second guess this relationship. Sorry, I was in a controlling marriage before divorcing and those are some signs! (Now engaged to a wonderful man)

Anywhooo... To your question. I think that it is quite nice for your son to honor his father by having his jacket there and having his uncle walk you down the isle. If anything I don't see a problem with your bf sitting with you at a table, but....honestly, think twice with this guy

I agree. Red flags, if this is a slow casual relationship then maybe it's time to re-evaluate this relationship? Maybe he is more invested in where he thinks the relationship is than it sounds like you are. If you are living together and talking marriage then I can see his point, but if its mostly casual and he does not accompany you to family holidays and events as your significant other than I think a gentle conversation might be in order and it sounds like he is more concerned with his interests than for the concerns for your family on what can be a very difficult day. But if at all other times he spends time with your family as your significant other then I can understand why his feelings might be hurt.

I am so proud of you for kicking this man to the curb!

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#TeamMelanie

I hope your son appreciates that he apparently has such an awesome mom!

Enjoy your son's wedding without any stress about what that turd thinks

View Quoted Comment Agreed! He doesn’t get to make demands for his girlfriend’s son’s wedding. Nor commenting on what his girlfriend spends her money on.

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Hate to say it, but I agree with you Michelle. Just going off the post (I obviously don't know him personally), this seems to be quite controlling and very unfair behavior when he's not technically a part of the family. When my SO has been in weddings, or even if we're at one of his work events or something, I completely accept that I will be in the background until it's party time when we'll be able to spend more time together. Your son's wedding has nothing to do with him, and it kind of sounds like he's trying to force himself in a bit. And critiquing your dress so harshly is another red flag IMO. I hope things work out! Wish you all the best!

Your boyfriend sounds like an ass. If you really want to fix the problem, dump him LOL

But for real, no. Honor your son's wishes, your boyfriend doesn't need to be in the recieving line or walk you down the aisle. The only thing he is correct on is sitting with you at dinner. That's it.

Also, wear the dress you want. His opinion matters zilch.

Sticky situation. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. I do agree with you though - it’s your son and his brides day. Maybe your son feels closer to his uncle than your bf right now. Not that your son doesn’t respect the man in your life but the other man has been around longer. I’m sure your bf feelings were initially hurt and therefor the way he is acting. Maybe there is another way to explain why your son feels the way he does? I hope it all works out.

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I agree with Samantha, when someone takes someone else's special event and makes it about them they show their true colors. A father's death is very difficult to go through and your boyfriend should show respect to your son and honor his wishes.

As someone who was once in a difficult relationship and now very happy after leaving it, a man should never yell at a woman or talk down to her.

Melanie, the wedding day is about YOUR son and his future wife. Period. It has nothing to do with the new man you are seeing or frankly when it comes down to it, any of the guest! Therefore I do not agree with the new partner.

I know it's not the same as losing a parent, but I lost my sister and have been having a hard time planning my wedding without her (my best friend). Fact is, that it doesn't matter what type of relationship a person has with a deceased relative (good or bad), no one in the world would be able to replace that person and the influence they had on your life; in this case, your son's father can not be replaced, and I am sure your son feels more comfortable with his uncle stepping up, then this guy that's only been in your life for the past year, and probably less so in your son's life. Also, I am sure your son and future daughter in law do not want to have this man (that may be temporary) in professional keepsake photos to look back upon, as he's not family, nor a significate person to your son's life!

For the new partner to not understand this and only selfishly think about his role in this, is a HUGE red flag. He sounds very hyper focused on the wrong things IMO. I hope things work out for you and your son. Sending love and hugs!

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I like you, Samantha. I've seen your words before and you always know just what to say. What a perfect response.

View Quoted Comment Awww thank you!

I’m so sorry! This doesn’t sound healthy at all to me! I can understand his request of sitting with you during the ceremony, but the rest is intended for family! Even if he and your son have a great relationship, he’s been in the picture for a year now, he wasn’t in your son’s life otherwise and he should understand that! The wedding is intended for the couple to celebrate this time with family and loved ones! Not for the guests to call the shots!

I’m sorry that you are going through this. It’s sounds like it is a very difficult situation. I think you handled it well by saying it’s your son and his brides day. There isn’t really anything else to explain at that point. If he isn’t understanding of that now, how will he understand it later?