Melanie

Mother of the Groom

Melanie, on May 15, 2021 at 5:24 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 79
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I am the Mother of the Groom and I have a big problem! My son wants his uncle to walk me down the aisle. His father passed away and he is going to honor his Dad with a picture and his military jacket in a chair. Which all sounds great to me.


Here is where the problem comes in the man that I have been seeing for a year is livid over the fact that the uncle is walking me down the aisle; he thinks he should walk me down the aisle. I explained to him that it is my sons' wedding and however he and his bride wants the wedding to go; that is how it is going.

He thinks he should sit with me at the wedding, stand in the receiving line, and sit with me at the bridal table with the bride's parents.

I think this is wrong to try and run my sons' wedding and tell me what I am going to do and not do; after all, it is my son and his bride's day.

He hates my dress on top of everything! He ended up throwing a fit and said I didn't care about him and that he is a low man on the pole. Isn't this ridiculous?

I feel that he is sticking his nose in where it doesn't belong! I need some advice....

79 Comments

Latest activity by Roopchandwedding, on May 21, 2021 at 11:57 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I’m actually with your significant other on part of this. I don’t know whether he needs to be in the receiving line, but I don’t see why he can’t walk you down the aisle and he absolutely should be seated with you. I don’t think that’s running your son’s wedding. I think that’s asking for your son to be respectful of the relationship your in.
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I agree with you- your significant other is definitely overreacting. The wedding party will be heavily photographed, and it’s only natural your son would want family in those photos- his uncle will always be his uncle, whereas your boyfriend may not always be around. If you and your significant other do not stay together, he will be left with photos of his mother walking down the aisle with a random man no longer in his or your lives. Also, I’m sure it’s difficult for your son to go through such an important event in his life without his father present. Knowing his father would have been the one walking you down the aisle may make it feel like having your SO walk you is “replacing” his dad and could possibly make him feel guilty. Having his uncle walk you likely feels less like a betrayal to his father’s memory. I also don’t think he has any place in the receiving line. However, I don’t see any reason he couldn’t sit with you during the ceremony and reception.
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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    I think that part of this is one has to get respect to receive respect. I think I wrote that wrong; he will be seated with me at the wedding.

    He keeps throwing up to my son how much money I will be spending and that is not exactly sitting well with my son.

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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    My son just buried his Dad in March and this is hard on him.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Agree with this. Your boyfriend is overreacting and it is not his place to judge or dictate anything at this wedding. If he is this hostile, staying home might be in his best interests. It’s completely unacceptable for him to lash out at you for your clothing choices too. Everything combined would make me seriously step back and reconsider your relationship with boyfriend.
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  • Richaelyn
    Devoted July 2021
    Richaelyn ·
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    I agree with you 100%!
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I agree with both sides regarding certain things, but from the sounds of it your boyfriend would be better staying home if he can't be respectful towards your son and future daughter-in-law. I think your boyfriend is completely out of line for saying anything about what they are spending on their wedding. It is none of his business so he has no right to make comments to him or anyone else. I also don't think he has any business making comments about what you wear. The only person that has to like what you wear is you as long as it is fitting the formality of the wedding. But I do agree that your boyfriend should be escorting you down the aisle rather than your son's uncle (not sure if the uncle is related to you). I also think he should be allowed to sit with you at both the ceremony and reception. I think it could go either way with the receiving line. Also, the way your boyfriend is acting sounds very controlling and judgmental. If it were me, his attitude would make me very seriously reconsider this relationship.

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I mean this with genuine concern: I would sincerely reevaluate your relationship with this man. The fact that he is interjecting himself in your son’s wedding (not his place), throwing how much you are spending on the wedding in your son‘s face (none of his business), is “livid” and “throwing a fit” over not getting his way (childish and selfish), and criticizing what you will be wearing (controlling and demeaning). These are all huge red flags of a man who is selfish and controlling. I just read your post to my fiancé, and his exact words were “tell that woman to run!”
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Someone you have been seeing for a year is throwing his weight around like this? The problem isn’t the wedding.
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    When someone shows you who they were, believe them.
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    Exactly...
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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    I do. This has made me reevaluate the relationship. Thank you for responding!

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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    I am putting on my running shoes now! I don't need this stress. Thank you for responding

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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    This is from the Love is Respect website. They are a good resource for relationship info. Mother of the Groom 1

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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    Thank you for your advice. I appreciate you responding to me. I have my running shoes on now! I don't need this headache!

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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    The uncle is his Dad's oldest brother. His attitude has made me reevaluate the relationship. I don't need the extra stress. Thank you for responding!

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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    These very things have been in the back of my head! The wedding is on October 16, 2021, and for a week I have had nothing but grief from this man. My son is finishing up his residency at the local hospital and he smarts off about him becoming a Doctor. I think that these are some of the reasons my son and future daughter-in-law made some of the decisions they made. Thank you for responding to me!

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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    My heart goes out to you. Listen to your gut. Why would any decent man be mad that the son if the woman he loves is a doctor? He should think highly of you - you raised a son who completed a difficult course of study and will be a doctor!
    Anyone who is worthy of being with you will not need to tear you down.
    My advice: change all your passwords on everything. Freeze your credit. Change your PIN numbers. You don’t want to be a victim of identity theft - it happens a lot.
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  • Reasie
    Dedicated June 2021
    Reasie ·
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    OH MY GOODNESS! If not being able to walk or sit besides you at YOUR Son's wedding or ANY other function will result in your significant other becoming rude, demeaning, self-centered, childish, or anything negative, these are WARNINGS of things now and to come in your future with him. PLEASE GET OUT NOW!

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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    Thankfully we don't live together! I have changed my pin numbers as of three days ago. Something just wasn't feeling right! Especially once he threw his fit and slammed the door behind him because he wasn't getting his way. Not to mention talking about my sons' Dad like he was a dog. Which was totally wrong the man was a full bird col in the airforce. At that point, I just wanted to throw up!

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