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Melanie

Mother of the Groom

Melanie, on May 15, 2021 at 5:24 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 79

I am the Mother of the Groom and I have a big problem! My son wants his uncle to walk me down the aisle. His father passed away and he is going to honor his Dad with a picture and his military jacket in a chair. Which all sounds great to me. Here is where the problem comes in the man that I have...

I am the Mother of the Groom and I have a big problem! My son wants his uncle to walk me down the aisle. His father passed away and he is going to honor his Dad with a picture and his military jacket in a chair. Which all sounds great to me.


Here is where the problem comes in the man that I have been seeing for a year is livid over the fact that the uncle is walking me down the aisle; he thinks he should walk me down the aisle. I explained to him that it is my sons' wedding and however he and his bride wants the wedding to go; that is how it is going.

He thinks he should sit with me at the wedding, stand in the receiving line, and sit with me at the bridal table with the bride's parents.

I think this is wrong to try and run my sons' wedding and tell me what I am going to do and not do; after all, it is my son and his bride's day.

He hates my dress on top of everything! He ended up throwing a fit and said I didn't care about him and that he is a low man on the pole. Isn't this ridiculous?

I feel that he is sticking his nose in where it doesn't belong! I need some advice....

79 Comments

  • Meghan
    Beginner October 2022
    Meghan ·
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    It's your son's wedding, let him do what he wants. If he's chosen his uncle, there's a reason for it and no offense he doesn't even need to explain it. The day isn't about you or your spouse, it's about his and his spouse so let it be everything he and she wants.
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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    I have my running shoes on now! Thank you for responding

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  • Reasie
    Dedicated June 2021
    Reasie ·
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    You're welcome! Smiley sexy

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Are you sure he was a full bird? Lots of scammers out there, who play a long game. Have you listened to the podcast “Dirty John?” Everyone was convinced this guy was a doctor...and he was not even close!


    I would put a freeze on your credit just to make sure - if he has knew your ssn and birthdate he can take out loans in your name very easily.
    I say this because at just a year in, a full grown mature adult, slamming doors, yelling, etc, is very very off behavior. He has anger issues at the very least, and at his age, he won’t change.
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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    That is exactly what I said, "do whatever you want" He waited a long time for this day and it should be how he and my future daughter-in-law would like it!

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  • Melanie
    Melanie ·
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    Yes, my husband was a full bird col in the airforce. I think your right I do need to place a freeze on my credit just to be sure.

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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    Ditch the boyfriend, he sounds like bad news.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Oh I thought you meant your boyfriend was LOL
    It’s a “thing” where men our age (I’m in my 50s) pretend to be in the military and on assignment overseas, and get them caught up in sending money, etc.
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  • T
    Beginner October 2022
    Tanea ·
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    I agree. He shouldn’t be worrying about things that don’t concern him. Your SO probably feel make so that your son should respect him instead of the relationship. His demands are ridiculous. I feel as though he should be grateful that your son is even allowing him to be there since y’all aren’t married. Definitely leave him alone. He isn’t worth the headache.
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  • C
    Devoted September 2022
    Carissa ·
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    Can I ask, why isn't your son walking you up the aisle? Or maybe it's a regional thing? But the groom always does that where I am from. The groom seats both mothers, and the father of the groom walks right behind them.
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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
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    Your son just buried his father in March. Of course he wants his uncle, I’m assuming his fathers brother, waking you down the aisle, not your boyfriend, who is not a father figure to your adult son. I’m glad to read yo sure reevaluating your relationship with this man as all you’ve posted are big red flags in a relationship. This should be a happy occasion for you and your son to share and the least of your concerns should be who is walking you down the aisle or what you are wearing. You are an adult and what you wear or how you spend your money is your business. If your boyfriend cannot cope with those, he is not mature enough to be in an adult relationship.
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Kassidy ·
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    When it comes to the wedding, everything is up to the couple who is getting married. Everyone one else is there to support them in a new life together. Some men can act more like a baby than any woman.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    With all these updates, I think you should break up with the bf asap. He is oddly controlling and very petty. This is likely to escalate. Never stay with a man who demeans you, your son, or your deceased husband, or tries to insert himself where he doesn't belong. It's like he wants to metaphorically pee on you in front of everyone at the wedding.
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  • Brittany
    Dedicated June 2021
    Brittany ·
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    Yup! Red flags being thrown EVERYWHERE! I think wanting to be seated with you during dinner because he might not know very many other people is a reasonable request but beyond that he sounds super controlling. He is seriously is rivaling all of the awful FMILs with all of his demands.

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    I support you for supporting your son's vision and am glad you found the courage to leave a relationship with a man that didn't respect you or your family. Good for you!

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  • K
    Dedicated September 2021
    K ·
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    If your boyfriend wants a place of honor in your family events, he should commit to your family.
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  • devotedlydavis
    Expert March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
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    Sounds like you have it figured out. As someone whose father can’t be at my wedding, incorporating my uncles is a way to feel like my dad is still here with me. I doubt your some meant any disrespect to your SO, he likely just wants to feel connected to his dad on his big day. Although, it sounds like he may also be a bit skeptical of your new beau, if you saw flags I’m sure he did too.
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  • Maureen
    Devoted November 2021
    Maureen ·
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    I'm sorry but your son JUST buried his father in MARCH and your boyfriend is interjecting this much?! No way should you put up with any of this. I would stick with your son's wishes and walk up with his uncle. And maybe you want walk back down the aisle after the ceremony with your boyfriend.
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  • J
    Just Said Yes November 2021
    Joselyn ·
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    He is definitely over reacting. Especially if you only known him for 1 year.
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  • Alia
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Alia ·
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    Looks like you just needed some perspective, so I won’t comment other than to say well done.

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