Monetary Gifts

@Kate a honeymoon fund is the same as asking for money and the sites take a cut of the money so it is a silly thing to do.

Please do not set up a honeyfund like @Kate suggested. That is still asking for money and is just as rude.

A small registry with things like picture frames, a nice vase, nice serve ware, is a great way to go. Adults know how to put cash or a check in a card. Your guests will figure out that is what you want when they learn you have a small registry.

Don't set up a honeyfund. It's equally rude if not worse, and THAT comes up once an hour too. It's not a donation. It's panhandling.

Charities are problematic and THAT comes up at least once a week. This is what it's wise to lurk.

@kate no one should be funding your honeymoon! If you can't afford to have one right away, then don't. It's still tacky to ask for it.

@Jessica - I'm new to the forums and have realized this isn't the most welcoming community just via lurking. If I have questions, I usually stick to my friendlier Facebook wedding groups.

You said "self catering" on your list of WW taboo things - does this mean those who are doing buffet style dinners and not plated dinners are looked down upon here? Just curious. Need to know what not to say here

I just can't even deal, lmfao.

ETA: @kelsey, this was to you.

Self catering: making and supplying your own food.

Kelsey: despite your insulting the community, I will answer your question. "Self catering" means that a couple or their families are preparing and serving the reception food, rather than a professional caterer. Does not have anything to do with whether a meal is buffet or plated or stations, all of which are just fine.

Holly every time I see you post it's absurd advice. Absurd.

Agreed, don't ask for money. We registered at zola.com because we have our house and everything already as well so on zola you can register for experiences including a honeymoon so if you're worried about people not getting the hint or getting you things you don't need, they can see what you really do want. The main reason we registered there though was because most of the things we want are more expensive like a kitchen aid mixer so we can do group gifting on items like that, that way people can spend as much or as little as they want. Plus I've had a lot of people asking what we want so this makes it easier for everyone. Also, we aren't relying on it, even if no one gives us a single cent we can still afford our honeymoon.

This thread just got worse and worse.

@kelsey I'm having a catered, buffet dinner. No one has ever said boo. Self catering is when you bring your own food, or you ask friends and family to bring food.

My understanding is that Zola is just a honeyfund, with the added disguise of being able to add some real items. The honeymoon gifts and the group gifts (if not completed) just come to the couple as checks. Is that your understanding, Kirsten?

@alwaysms that's my understanding of Zola, especially with the way she's describing it.

I was also raised that wedding gifts are not cash; they're from the registry.

Please have a small registry for people like me who don't give cash.

Don't have a solid opinion either way but here's another reference point:

https://www.theknot.com/content/asking-for-money-wedding-gifts

Don't ask for money. Just don't do a registry and guests will get the hint

Why, oh why does this subject come up every few days?

Do NOT ask for money. If you do not register, people will either give money, or a gift of their choosing.

A gift is a gift....you do not ask for a gift.

Do not follow the advice in the knot article.

Seriously if 80 people are telling you it's a bad idea, it's definitely a bad idea. Regardless of whether or not you listen to the many or the few, it's tacky and rude.

T-Rex (if you see this): where are you from? I am getting way too interested in the "boxed gift" subset of gifting etiquette.

Flagged Tyjean.