Monetary Gifts

Holly--Yuck

We're all just a bunch of unwelcoming rude bishes.

Whatever.

@Mariah - No one is attacking you. They're saying that asking for money is rude and against etiquette. This question is asked very frequently on the forums. The general answer is always the same, and as long as people are criticizing the idea (asking for cash) instead of criticizing the person (you), that's allowed within our Community Guidelines. If you see any comments that have gone beyond that and are violating the CGs, please feel free to flag them for review by our team of moderators.

https://www.weddingwire.com/corp/legal/community-guidelines

Mariah, people gave you advice. Have a small registry or no registry at all was stated several times. Again, how would a "positive" and "helpful" response be worded???

I didn't even need to read your post because I knew what you were going to say. "We've been together, we have everything we need, we just want money, how can we ask."

Right?

If you can't afford the wedding and the honeymoon, you don't have them. Simple as that. If you don't need gifts, fantastic for you; don't register.

@Holly, I hope to GOD you're being sarcastic.

You don't ask for monetary gifts. If you do, I would be offended if I received your invitation and I wouldn't attend, nor would I send a gift, monetary or otherwise. Don't ask for money. It's rude.

ETA: you shouldn't put any registry or gift information on your invitation. Let's say that your invitation includes website information, so I go check it out and I see no registry and/or a honeyfund. I know that if I got you a gift, you'd just return it because you only want the value of the gift or would potentially hate it. I don't give cash as a gift ever. It's considered crass in the area I grew up in.

OP, I lurk multiple times a day, and I have seen this question posed repeatedly. However, I hesitate to ask anything on here because so many comments are "blunt." It's not the most welcoming environment, but people are welcome to say what they want how they want. We all have different personalities. I'm sorry you feel unwelcome. This day is important to you, and I hope you don't feel discouraged from using WW. Personally, FH and I will be making a registry of things like matching towels, replacements for things like cookware, and things we love but don't buy ourselves, such as vinyl records.

........you don't.

If you have to ask what the "polite way" of asking something is, then it's most likely not something you should ask, right? Its not that hard. Adults know that other adults appreciate getting money, and they know that they can put it in an envelope and give it to you ******if they want******. They don't need to be told. I don't care how comfortable you are with people, asking for money is not ok.

There are a lot of us that own our own homes and have them furnished. You're not even close to alone in that fact. So often people use that as an excuse to be gauche and ask for money. There is no way to do it without being gauche. There just isn't.

Either don't register at all or make a small registry with upgrades. Hell, we put boardgames and candles on ours.

People will get the hint and know how to give cash.

We are only trying to help you.

This question is on here like everyday. Don't ask ppl for money. They will get the hint if you don't have a registry.

Welcoming=/validating.

I was not asking my question because I couldn't afford my wedding & honeymoon - I have budgeted. I didn't want to ask my guests to by random gifts that I didn't need - and felt that maybe putting it toward things to do on our honeymoon or even future needs for the home that isn't a necessity yet. I'm sorry for offending and getting so many people angry for asking my question - thanks for the feedback.

Crescent: I'm really interested in regional differences in attitudes about registries and gift giving. Where did you grow up? My mom has the same feelings about cash as gifts and it took me awhile to realize that was a regional thing

So rude. So tacky. So inappropriate.

Mariah- you said it would be great to have the money to pay back the wedding and for the honeymoon. So if you can afford it then why would you ask for it? Again, people know to put cash/check in an envelope and will do that if they so decide. Do not panhandle at your wedding.

I see that my question is not going to be answered...

Jessica: I'm from California. I just got interested in etiquette and hosting early on.

@beachdreams In my opinion, a "positive" way to answer my question would be to simply say that it isn't recommended & a lot of guests may be offended by the bride & groom asking for money as opposed to a gift.

Mariah, I'm pretty sure that everyone said those things? So I'm confused as to why or how you view them as negative, but ok.