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Dedicated November 2020

Moh in a destination wedding

Arianna, on March 26, 2020 at 6:45 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Hi everyone!

I am MOH for my best friend who was supposed to get married on June 27th. They have decided to cancel their wedding due to covid-19 and do a destination this coming winter instead. A DW wedding has been my best friends dream wedding and I’m so excited for her! My problem is that I am getting married in April 2021 and we are saving everything we have so that we can have our dream wedding. This means that I will not be able to attend her DW. She is the sweetest person in the world and she would be the type of person to change her plans just so I could be there with her which I do not want her to do since this has been her dream for a long time. My question is, do I tell her now that I won’t be able to make it? Or do I wait and risk her being upset that I didn’t tell her before?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Anna, on March 29, 2020 at 11:13 PM

Dedicated October 2018
Deb · on March 26, 2020 at 6:49 PM
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Was the June wedding a destination wedding? If so, can you put aside the money you were going to spend on the June wedding so you can go in the winter? If not, be honest and let her know soon.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on March 26, 2020 at 6:52 PM
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I absolutely would not wait to tell her. i wouldn't want her assuming that you could make it. so i would let her know.
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on March 27, 2020 at 12:17 AM
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Are you really so sure that you won't be able to swing it at that time? You said winter, but not what month exactly. But if you are currently MOH for her originally scheduled June wedding, you must have spent some money already by now, at least for attire, if nothing else. That's money you won't have to spend in the winter. I'm just wondering if it could all work out so everyone wins.
Maybe if you discuss your concerns with her now, she'll help you come up with a solution, so that your dream wedding isn't harmed in any way, but you can still share her special day as her MOH.
I'm one of those people that believes there's always a solution. Give it a shot, before you throw in the towel. But talking with her sooner, rather than later, is best.
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Dedicated September 2020
Sabrina · on March 27, 2020 at 9:57 AM
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I am doing a DW wedding and my MOH/bestie says she will come, but I am not sure if she can now with COVID and money being a little tighter.

With that being said I would NEVER hold it against her! Maybe and this is a big maybe the bride will have enough funds to help cover some of the cost for maybe 2 days in a hotel for you. DW cost a little less if you plan it right and maybe they will have extra funds. I've heard of brides paying for people.
We are NOT doing that! But you never know!
Also tell her now and don't wait!
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on March 27, 2020 at 1:57 PM
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I agree. Please tell her right away. I would be so hurt and so upset if I found out my friend knew she couldn't come and kept it from me.
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VIP October 2020
Anna · on March 29, 2020 at 11:13 PM
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I agree with telling her now. I would always much rather someone to be upfront and honest in the beginning. I'm not sure how close you are with the bride, but I know that my MOH is an absolute must beside me on my big day. She's been my best friend for 16 years, and I've always said that I'd cut other things out of the budget to get her to my wedding. Luckily she lives a lot closer now (before she was in LA and I live in North Carolina, now she's just over in Kentucky) and she'll be able to get down here on her own.
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