MIL planning on wearing black to the wedding ..

My FMIL likes to do subtle things to "get under my skin" sometimes. Since the beginning of planning the wedding, I have told her that my MOH is going to be wearing pink while the other BMs wear green so that she stands out. Well my FMIL got it in her head that because I said I would appreciate her not wearing pink that she wanted to wear pink! I had to fight her on wearing a different color and the woman has absolutely NO imagination.

I took her shopping with my mom once and my mom bought her dress in a chocolate brown color. My FMIL finally just bought her dress last week (a little over a month to go for the wedding!) and its virtually the same color as my mom's dress! UGHHH she could have picked ANY color and she decides to pick colors that were already chosen.

But in the time frame of her not having a dress I kept telling my mom that I could careless anymore if she shows up in her PJs because its a reflection of her, not me! I decided to not let it stress me & its working out

So my advice to you it to just let your FMIL do whatever she wants. If she wants to wear black then its a reflection of herself. If it is seriously going to bother you then maybe have your FH talk to her and suggest going dress shopping with you so you can have some input on what kind of dress she gets.

Black is actually my favorite color, I wore it to the last wedding I attended, pic is of me holding my grand daughter. I wouldn't push it, if that's what she wants to wear.

Honestly my dress has black beading and my girls are wearing black and white dresses, but I understand that you don't want black and that is what matters, what you want. Is it possible she wants to wear this dress because she already owns it, she likes it and she just doesn't feel comfortable dress shopping. I would ask her. it might turn out better for you. I would have no problem with black to a wedding, I actually love it, but to each there own.

Isnt the old rule that the MIL wears black if she is protesting the marriage? I was always under that assumption....

My MIL (one of them for sure) is wearing a black dress and honestly I'm thrilled because the other option she was considering was a pair of white pants and a "nice" top she could use again. I guess for me white is way more awkward/annoying as is semi-casual clothing. (FH dad is wearing a tux...) I'm going to pick out a spring green wrap for her to wear to the ceremony and pics which should giver her dress a bit of spring color and help her tie into the wedding colors. Any chance you could suggest an awesome pair of blue or yellow shoes or a nice wrap to go with the outfit?

You can definetly try explaining that black isn't appropriate for wedding in the Ukraine, but I'd only suggest doing it if you think it will make a difference. Or ask you FH to speak to her?

Since this is YOUR wedding...I say voice your opinion make a big deal if you want...yes she is grown but even adults have to follow rules....even if you do voice your opinion and nothing happens at least she knows how you feel....it may change it may not....I wear black almost everyday but to a wedding...i am not a fan...It is nothing wrong with saying how you feel even if it doesnt change anything...I tell my preschoolers all the time to tell people how you feel.....so please voice your concerns

I am as much of a control freak as the next person, but I never understand why brides feel the need to dictate what everyone wears to the wedding beyond the bridal party.

She is a grown adult woman and she should wear whatever she wants to her sons wedding. Just let it go.

I'd let this go too. Is it really worth the fight? FMIL had the audacity to show me a white dress which was her first choice the other day and I just shrugged my shoulders and said "whatever you want" luckily she thought better of it

Brides can do whatever they want for their big day....it doesnt mean anyone will listen....I think you should ask her one more time and if she still say she will wear black then just leave it alone......there is nothing you can do

Maybe try and accessorize it or offer to go shopping with her to pick a dress that suits your color palette more...

I understand your pain b/c yes, while she's not technically a WP member, she is going to be in a lot of photographs and you'd like her to coordinate with the group. If she's dead set on the black, find ways to bring color into it...maybe a shoe or belt and like Kris said...and gimongus corsage of colored flowers.

I feel your pain, my color palette is actually charcoal gray, black, white with fuchsia flowers, and my stepmother wants to weat a turqoise dress...yes turqoise to a September wedding...I begged her not to and hopefully she's just going to do black. I wanted her in some type of gray/silver since that's the BM and colors the MoB and MoG are wearing, but you just have to pick your battles to a degree..

Good luck!

I wouldn't dictate what my guests are wearing. And she IS a guest, and not a member of your bridal party, IMO.

Worry about controlling what you CAN control, or you're going to kill yourself with stress. You simply can't control every moment, every move, and every word that happens on that day. Pick your battles.

Thank you ladies for a lot of opinions & suggestions.

As some of you said that she is not in a WP, I think she is definitely IN a wedding party. She is a mother of my husband, my MIL. she will be in A LOT of pictures & will be treated much better then just a regular guest.(that is at least the way I see it)

This dress she did not just buy recently, she had this dress for a while now. I know she did say maybe she will wear blue shoes & she will have some jewelry to accessorize it, but it is still dont change anything, its still black & I dont like it, not to a wedding or at least MY wedding.

I know my MIL loves me & she is not wearing it because she doesnt want us to be together, or to be happy, she is just wearing cause she likes the dress...

I will be seeing her this weekend, so maybe I'll talk to her again about it, or DH will just speak to her & just mention it.. if she still says NO then whatever, it is what it is. But I will sure speak up my mind to her about it. :-(

Unless you are planning on buying her dress I would say you are S.O.L. I get why this bugs you (sort of, though it wouldn't bug me) But do you have other problems with her that make you feel like she is doing this to spite you? Black is a pretty comon colour she probably bought it so she actually could wear it again, cause lets be serious MOB and MOG dresses look like that and you usually don't get another wear out of them.

I told both moms, no black, red, or white... It's a summer wedding with bright colors. They both respected that... no biggie. I wouldn't have a problem if someone told me, hey don't wear blue.. then I won't wear the color. If you told her twice and fh told her too, and she has still decided to wear black, hate to say it but that's all you can do! SRY.

I hate the "but its my wedding" cry-baby nonsense. Your MIL can wear whatever she wants to the wedding. If she has a dress that she absolutely loves and feels beautiful in it then let her wear it. Put on your big-girl panties and get over it.

My MIL actually asked me what I wanted her in...I told her cocktail attire as well as our wedding colors. I said I'd prefer her to get one of the colors or have one of the colors in the dress (orange, pink or brown)...I figured there wouldn't be an issue on this...I should have known better...she and I don't get along...she showed up in all black. However, it was such a small thing/issue and there was nothing I could do about it. And in all honesty, when I've gone back and looked through all my pictures, my StepMIL, GrandMIL, and a couple of my friends all wore black...though they did have a jacket or shawl in color to offset it.

Either way...I honestly wouldn't let it bother you. There are bigger fish to fry and larger things to deal with when planning your wedding.

Don't let small things stress you out...it will only make you more upset adding to your already stressful load. In the long run...you'll look back and think it really wasn't that big of an issue.

I'd just let it go.

My uncle is walking me down the aisle in our morning beach wedding. I requested CASUAL. He INSISTS on a BLACK SUIT. Why? Because he feels it's respectful to me. I told him respectful is really to do wear what I suggested, but he is 77 years old and he was brought up differently and I understand why he feels the need to do it. Not to mention, some people just feel better in black. I know I do!

I let it go with my uncle... There are FAR more important things to worry about!

While technically the mothers and fathers are not part of the wedding party, they are considered honored guests. In some cases, if they are footing the bill, they are considered the hosts. Because of this, they do have a highly visible position in the wedding, and just as a couple would not (probably) want the mothers attending in sloppy attire of shorts, tank tops, and flip flops, I do believe some coordination can be accommodated. Yes, yes, yes the mothers are adults. So are the bridesmaids and MOH - yet we still dictate what colors, styles, lengths they wear. (Sometimes whether it flatters the girls or not!)

If I had married a man of Philipino culture, and his mother wanted to white (as is done in their culter), would it be okay? This bride is saying black is insulting to her, as per her culture. I think that should be respected. I would let FH deal with the women in his family and in educating them on tolerance of his bride's culture.

Maybe she IS wearing the dress to get under you skin or maybe she just has some curves and body issues that she feels she can only hide with black material. This is so one of the times you have to "pick your battles". And nagging your FH to get involved in the dress issue will only cause more stress for you two. Leave it alone and focus your energy elsewhere.

And if your FH and GM are in black tuxedos... she technically matches.