MIL planning on wearing black to the wedding ..

Well typically (in my family) the Moms wear a similiar color to the BMs. Or something along the lines, so if you're a baby blue, they'd wear a dark blue ya know? BUT, I mean, she is wearing it. I personally wouldn't start an argument over her dress.

Well I don't see the big deal (see my avatar) people don't wear black gowns to funerals so I don't see how black dress automatically equals funeral...

She's an adult and can wear what she wants. If you have already said something twice you just need to get over it.

I'm become VERY upfront when it comes to wedding stuff, so I would just tell them that is not acceptable. Tell them that I had an image in my head of how I wanted everyone to look and black was NOT in that image.

If that's not good, you could always complain and nag your FH until he says something to them...

Ugh... WW has been double posting all day! What's the problem?

Unless you told her ahead of time to wear a specific color, I don't think it's fair to get mad after the fact.

She bought the dress- unless you are going to buy her a new one you can't really demand she wears something else.

But i agree with Carrie- black doesn't equal funeral.

Carrie its not a gown, its a dress to her knees..

In my country, you wear black to the funeral, & I do understand we are not in Ukraine right now, & not having this wedding in Ukraine, but thats just what I automatically associate it with ...

btw.. I DO LOVE black dresses... have of my work outfits (long dresses, short dresses) are black... actually more like 75% of them.... so i have no problem with black, i just dont want it to MY wedding, especially if she is MIL ...

I know I can not stop the guests from wearing black, but then again all my friends know how i feel about black at wedding & they respect that

I agree with Takara. Tell them they are going to be in family pictures and you want them in a complimenting color not black.

But did you tell her ahead of time? I think the only way you can control what color people wear is if you tell them ahead of time to wear a specific color.

Shellie, she bought that dress a while back, way before we were even engaged.. probably before we were even dating... so no, that dress was not bought just for the wedding & she knew how I felt about black when we first got engaged..

I would explain to her the cultural meaning, and how it would mean a lot to you if they didn't wear a color that is usually kept explicitly for funerals in your country. Perhaps that your side of the family will view that she is dressing as though this is her son's funeral, and not the joyous event that it is/should be.

Seeing as she got it from Nordstrom, I know for a fact that they have one of the most excellent and customer service positive return policies. So it should be zero problem returning it as far as the store is concerned.

I can understand it being a cultural difference for you, but I agree with Carrie. She's an adult who's technically not part of the wedding party and she should be able to wear what she wants.

Do people ONLY wear black to funerals in Ukraine? Like, they don't wear black any other time? I think here it's common to wear black/dark colors to funerals also, but still a lot of people wear LBDs to weddings and other formal events. I would guess some of your guests might wear LBDs too.

Just get her a really, really bright and gimongous corsage.

Honey, i understand 100% what you are saying. my FH brother got married last year and my FH mother fought with the bride and told her she was going to wear a black velvet dress that she wore when her husbands funeral!!!!! the bride was very upset so she told her she would not be allowed to wear the black dress but in a nice way. they went dress shopping with together and they both picked out a dress they both liked and agreed on that she could wear on the day of the wedding. maybe that could be something u could do? its worth a shot.

Another reason i can understand why u maybe upset about it is the pictures. 20 years from now you'll look back and see your MIL in a black dress???? is that something u want to see for the rest of your life? i know i don't and sadly i'm going to be going though the same thing when my wedding rolls around. hang in there! remember this is YOUR special day and NO ONE has the right to mess it up.

I don't mind black at weddings, that's my go to, it's slimming LoL I never thought I would be ok with my own mom in black but that's what she/ we picked. You can totally accessorize black to make it look "happier"

Personally, I am having my close friends wear black to our vow renewal. I love a nice arse black dress. Plus it's easier and they can wear it again. I am not that pressed about the colors because I am more concerned w/ other things. To each his own and I understand you have a look in mind for your wedding. I do think you should've brought this up from the start and give your MIL a color to work with. I wish you well and don't stress over that too much! Just don't take many pics w/ her LOL!!! More than anything enjoy your wedding & reception it will go by so fast and enjoy your marriage!

Believe it or not, more funerals these days actually requests that you don't wear black. The last two funerals I went to had that stipulation. Because they are saying that you are suppose to celebrate the person's life. My point is, times is changing. A lot of bridesmaids are wearing black in weddings when once upon a time it was considered taboo.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Black never bothered me what if you compromised and she jazzed it up with a pair of blue (color of your wedding) or yellow shoes and a belt or sheer shaw? Purse maybe? You could buy them for her as gifts and tell her it's so she's "Part of the wedding"

A lot of people feel pretty or sexy in black and she might very well just feel beautiful in that dress. We all want to feel that way. It might not be personal.

If she already has a dress you can't really tell her she can't wear it. like others have said she is an adult so not really an option there.

I agree its awful....but not sure you can stop her...guess Id ignore it... but I do feel for you.

If you already talked to her, and he already talked to her, at this point there really isn't much for your to do. Maybe suggest doing a dress outing where you could do some bonding and try on dresses, you can say that you need a dress for your rehearsal dinner or shower, then you can be like, "Oh my goodness, that is so beautiful! That COLOR on you just makes you GLOW. You know, you actually look tanner and skinnier in that lovely shade of COLOR. You know, sometimes black just washes you out and makes you look old."

And she wears color dress to wedding.

I'm not sure if my FMIL is going to wear black to the wedding. She wore it to her last son's wedding but black was in the brides colors. She already joked about it saying that she also didn't like the girl.

I would be self-conscious too. I know some people really do wear black to a wedding because they don't approve. It's just impossible to know their motives. She may actually just like the slimming effect.