Methodist pastor for ceremony and other questions

We're Methodist and having our wedding at our Methodist church! We had a friend recently get married by a pastor from our church, and their ceremony was at their reception venue (so no issues with having it outside of the church) and lasted around 25-30 minutes. FH's mom and dad said it usually lasts a bit longer than that, closer to 35-40 minutes (at least at our church).

At our church you don't have to be a member, but if you aren't a member, you have to attend the church (not sure how many times you have to) so that you understand the culture of the church. I wasn't a member when we booked our date, but I be became a member a few weeks later. Methodists don't care what church you were baptized in. I was baptized and raised Catholic.

We are not required to do premarital counseling, but it is strongly recommended. Our church does require the couple to do the Prepare and Enrich program online prior to getting married, and that is the same program they use in the premarital classes as well. We're really excited for it since I'm a counseling student and my master's program LOVES Prepare and Enrich.

Hope this helped! Good luck and congratulations! (:

As a Methodist myself and a person going into the ministry I can answer these questions. There aren't any rules for having a Methodist pastor marry you. All you have to do is ask them and see if they are available. If they are they will want to meet with you just to ask questions about how you would like your ceremony to go. Don't worry if you are unsure how this works they will probably know. It doesn't matter if you are not official members of a Methodist Church. You can be part of whatever denomination and as long as that pastor is available, they will marry you. Pre-martial counseling depends on the pastor. Although It is not require It is highly recommended and I'm sure with technology today, doing that via web- cam will not be a problem. It is your wedding have it wherever you like. Methodist pastors don't mind it not being outdoors. If you choose a Methodist pastor, discuss with them that you would like to keep it short. They will accommodate to what you and your FH want. I hope this helps!

Thanks Sydney for your response! That makes me feel way better that when I contact him I won't be asking a lot of awkward questions!

I just looked up the Prepare and Enrich, and I definitely want to do this! I'm also in mental health (finishing up my postdoc in psychology)! i don't know a whole lot about therapy, but I love that this program appears to be a big needs assessment that will hopefully guide some good intervention!

Thanks Emily!! Your response is very helpful. It sounds very flexible, which makes me feel much better .

I think I was getting worried because my friends who recently got married were mostly Catholic, and I know there are a lot of requirements for that, especially for my friend who converted. I know they had to take months of classes and whatnot.

Thanks again!

So another question: I have not spoken to this pastor since I graduated, like 8 years ago. I am still Facebook friends with him. Is it completely inappropriate to message him on there to ask?

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Yay! A fellow Mental Health person! (: I think you'll really enjoy it. I went through the assessment prior to our classes this weekend and it seems to ask all the right questions. They aren't all easy questions, but they're the right questions, if you know what I mean. I think we'll get a lot out of it!

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That sounds awesome! I am totally ready to just take it right now, haha. But part of that could be that I'm procrastinating my licensure exam studying!

I've also just heard in general that those types of questions are vital prior to marriage. I almost wish we would have done something similar prior to engagement just to make sure we were actually on the same page about things.

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I agree 100%! We looked up some little questionnaires on google like "X amount of things you need to know about your significant other before you get married" that were helpful, but not to the same extent as the classes will be. The nice part about P&E is that you don't have to do it in the church, you could just find a counselor that is trained in it since it has secular and religious versions available depending on what is right for you and FH!

View Quoted Comment A phone call is always better but if you have no other way of contacting him, I think that is okay to do!